Tag: #consciouscreation

In praise of age

by Terah Drake, posted in Uncategorized

I have not withdrawn into despair, I did not go mad in gathering honey, I did not go mad, I did not go mad, I did not go mad. – Hoda Al-Namai

Thinking a lot about how our society views getting older lately.   

I’ve never had a huge concept of “age”, but I experience the unhealthy concept we have of getting olderin our culture of age-obsessed thinking. 

It’s everywhere we look.  

It’s in Hollywood, in politics, in social media.  

We think we should look 18 when we’re 80.  Or at least, 25 when we are 50 and “youth culture” tells us that we are no longer valid.  

Topically, in my experience, (and quantum theory backs this up) the degree that we age is very much based upon the degree that we accept what society tells us is true about age. 

I’ve been told that I look significantly younger than I am my entire adult life.  Part of this is because I believe my body is my temple, and I care for it well, but beyond that, I just don’t think about what I am. “supposed to” look, feel, or be like at any given age. 

I haven’t quite cracked the code on not aging at all; skin cells still break down, and the rate at which they replicate may not be the same at 50 as it is at 15, but our mindset can hugely influence just how rapidly our aging markers shorten.

From every other perspective beyond what we are told about our held value, getting older is an incredible experience.  

Because I have lived many years here on earth,I’ve had ample time and opportunity to learn, to grow, and to

examine the doctrines and dogma that I was brought up with.  

I’ve had years to recognize, acknowledge, and fall in love with those previously lost parts of myself that I had disconnected from out of shame, or guilt, or fear. 

I have had decades to sift through and discard any previous belief systems that do not serve my best, my most true, and highest self.  

Because of my years of experience; the joys and the losses, the challenges and the triumphs, the grief, and the bliss, I am so much more settled into the gorgeous, full and authentic human, be-ing than I ever have before.  

I can feel the strength of my foundation; something I certainly did not have in my teens, 20s, or even my 30s.  

I feel completely safe in exploring alternate ideas and ideologies from what I have learned to date. 

In fact, I have come to realize that this is the best way to keep growing – and having the stable foundation of what feels true to me keeps my value system intact while I approach new things with curiosity.

I have learned that my value is not in the constant need to be validated by others.  

I don’t have to “Do” to prove my worth.  I love who I am, exactly as I am.  

For that matter, I don’t have to prove my worth to anyone, and I don’t have to stay in a room where my care and value is not recognized or appreciated.  

I am not in any way saying I am close to whatever “perfect” is supposed to be, and being a little more aware doesn’t mean that I don’t make mistakes.  

But rather than judging or shaming myself, I have learned to take a step back, acknowledge the “mistake“ or misaligned behavior, and then look for the root of that sabotaging behavior.  

When I was actively teaching martial arts, one of my favorite things was those moments when one of my advanced students would get a good strike in on me in the sparring ring. 

It didn’t happen often, but when it did, I would always get a little thrill, because that little “zing” would show me an area of weakness that I may not have recognized otherwise. 

I’ve taken that lesson into every aspect of my life.

We humans are such beautifully complex creatures, and our past can influence our presence, but one of the most powerful lessons that I have learned is that it doesn’t have to be our identity.  

Like that kick to the gut, or punch to the jaw, (geared up, ofc) I may have an area in my psyche that I’m not paying attention to, or have a link to a past identity or egoic construct that I didn’t previously recognize.  

I can acknowledge the trauma, the challenges, the losses, and the accompanying patterns that grew as a result of those past experiences – but I get to decide the meaning – and how I frame – the emotions and residual vibration of those life experiences.  

I can allow the energy that lies behind me to be anchors that keep me tied to the past, or I can embrace them as lessons that provide ammunition for future growth and evolution.  

Perhaps the only real “truth” that I know for certain is that when I’m in the present moment, the past is no longer real.  

With each turn around the sun this physical and spiritual embodiment of my Self takes, I have become more deeply attuned to the world and other souls around me; able to “see” what keeps people stuck, but I have also lost any sense of judgment over where people are at in their personal journey. 

I love it when my experience and ability to heal or empower can be a catalyst for healing or growth in others, but my years of living this life have taught me that I don’t need to be a “savior” to those around me. 

I may be able to guide another soul who is ready along the path a bit; the reason I got trained in and and started my healing “business“, but I have learned that it has never been my place to try to change any other soul who doesn’t want to change, no matter how  “good” I may have thought my intentions to be. 

I have also learned that the law of equal exchange is both real and valid. I used to give my services away for free, or ask very little in exchange for my lifetime of experience in empowering, healing, and coaching others – then be hurt when the teaching or training I had given away was neither valued or implemented. 

 I have come to realize that if someone truly wants the help that I can provide, the equal exchange of energetic currency is incredibly important, and devaluing myself also devaluates their experience.  

When I was very young, I had a bit of a “Cinderella” complex.  

 Because of the lens that we are taught through fantasy and fairytale, I associated my childhood trauma with the idea of some prints or Savior who would sweep in to save the day, making all of my dreams come true, and fulfilling my every heart’s desire.

In gaining both years and experience on this earth, I have realized that there is no fairytale hero who will save me.   I have to be the hero of my own life, as we all do.  

I believe this is the primary lesson of this existence, here on earth.  

If we learn to love and heal ourselves, and in doing so, experience firsthand our incredible power and ability to shape our individual reality, the magnetic resonance of that love, healing and self-creation is projected into the Field, and may provide the spark for someone else to find wholeness, too.✨

This is how we save the world. This is how we heal our planet; one beautiful soul awakening to their incredible value, beauty, and power, becoming a ripple that spreads into the ocean of this reality.  

We are the new Christs, creating heaven on earth.  

This is the importance, and immeasurable value of each additional year we spend on this planet, in this time space reality. 

So darling, the next time you look in the mirror and see the physical evidence of your time here, celebrate that shit.  

Own your age, in your completely unique perspective. 

Trash whatever opinions someone else tries to force down your throat in what you or your life is supposed to look like at any given age.  

Wear the flowers, or the stripes, the sparkles or the tie-dye, or whatever suits you, Boo.

Keep your hair long, or rock a mohawk.  

Follow your bliss.  Follow your heart.  Listen to the whispers of your soul.  

Love yourself, and recognize your incredible contribution and value on this planet. 

Be gorgeously, gratefully, fully what you are.

But please, beloved, for the love of All That Is, stop thinking that your value ends at whatever perceived age your culture or society may tell you is valid.  Let go of old and outdated identities that no longer serve your highest self. 

Cast them off like an old coat that is three sizes too small and horribly outdated.

Step into the glorious version of yourself, as you are, right now.  

It’s more than enough, I promise.  

Big love.💖

  • Terah 

Surrender – Appreciating the beauty in the pause

by Terah Drake, posted in Uncategorized

“The pauses between the notes – ah, that is where the art resides.” – Arthur Schnabel; classical pianist, composer and pedagogue

Do you ever have days where it feels like the Universe is sending you the same message, over and over, in different ways?  

Today has been one such day for me, and the message is one of my hardest lessons – the message of pause, rest, and surrender.  

This seems like such a simple and relatively innocuous word, doesn’t it?  

Truly “letting go” of the things I cannot control has been a lifelong work; likely both a result of childhood wounds and connected to my ADHD – driven lack of patience.  

I have spent my entire adulthood practicing and teaching yoga, studying the intersection of neuroscience and spirituality, and having a private practice as a healer, helping clients through resetting impaired nervous system response, rewriting outdated neural programming through a hypnotherapy and other modalities from IFS therapy to understanding our attachment styles, and somatic release from Thai-massage based bodywork. 

I know and teach all of these different modalities, yet in the largest issues in my life, I still have times when I struggle to just let go; to allow myself to rest, and appreciate the beauty in the pause between movements. 

Letting go feels like a struggle.  

The feeling of “fighting against the current” when I try to control things is exactly what is causing the resistance.  The sense of life fighting me. 

Ironically, this isn’t the Universe resisting my efforts, but rather, my own mind causing the feeling of struggle. 

Here’s what happens in the brain and body when we are in a place of trying to control vs. surrender:

👉The stress of trying to figure things out, carry the burden of emotional weight, hold too tightly to people, events or circumstances in our life causes the activation of the sympathetic nervous system – our “fight or flight” response to danger or stress.  

👉This activation floods the system with hormones such as cortisol, adrenaline, and norepinephrine, increasing heartrate, alertness, and spatial awareness, while decreasing digestion, calm, and critical thinking.  

The problem is, mammals are only intended to have 90-second bursts of these hormones before reverting to the parasympathetic “rest and digest” aspect of our nervous system.   

👉When we are in chronic stress overload, the pre-frontal cortex; responsible for problem solving and analytic thinking, goes offline, and the amygdala – the part of the brain that triggers our “fight, fawn or flight” – takes over, disabling our ability to figure things out and essentially regressing us to primitive, less-than-mature and spiritually/emotionally aligned behavior. 

If we have past trauma, especially from childhood, when our neurocircuitry was most established, our body/brain default is likely to interpret stressful situations as direct threats, compounding the sympathetic nervous system reaction. 

But here’s an incredibly important truth: 

In times of stress, the one thing that we do have control of is how we choose to respond to those things that we can not control.  We can allow our primitive mind and subconscious, childhood-based patterns to control  our behavior:

👉Retreat from the world 

👉Throw an epic, Karen/Chad worthy tantrum,

👉Fall into “victimhood” behavior

– Or, conversely, we can: 

✌️Become mindful of our internal and external states.

✌️Take a beat to acknowledge what’s happening in the moment.

✌️Take steps to reset our nervous system 

✌️Shift our mental/emotional/nervous system state from resistance to acceptance.

One of my favorite metaphors for this subconscious/sympathetic nervous system response vs. calm, intentional direction is of an elephant and rider.  

If a person jumps onto the back of an elephant without knowing how to direct it, the elephant will rampage out of control, taking the rider along with it.  This is just like the subconscious mind when we are in a state of long-term sympathetic arousal.   

But if we can catch ourselves when we are in a downward spiral of nervous system response and redirect our awareness and focus, we become the trained rider who flows along sedately through the jungle on the back of our “elephant”, being supported by our subconscious without being controlled by it.  

The more we practice this, the neural pathways to regulated response are reinforced, and acceptance shifts from conscious effort to default response.  Calm, intentional acceptance becomes baseline.  

This is true empowerment – being in command of our thoughts, actions, and emotions, even when we are in moments or even seasons of our life where we may feel unable to control all of our external circumstances.  

What is especially cool about this is that when we are in a state of parasympathetic nervous system regulation, our prefrontal cortex comes back online, working with the Reticular Activating System/Reality filter to give us greater access to solutions to those issues we were struggling with.  

If you, like me, experience challenge with the idea of surrender and acceptance and feel yourself in anxiety or panic when life takes unexpected turns or seems to be slinging lemons your direction at high velocity, here are a few exercises that can help you to downregulate the nervous system to get you back into a state of calm to remember that those lemons make delicious lemonade.  

Downregulating the nervous system – reset from fight/flight to rest/digest

  1. Take a breath. Breathwork, particularly diaphragmatic, resets the nervous system quickly.  Breathe in for four, out for six, then in for six, hold for six, out for eight.  Alternately, take a deep breath through the nose, followed by a quick breath to completely fill the lungs and diaphragm, hold for a moment then release the breath completely.  Repeat x 3.  
  1. Havening/Self-comforting – this method creates soothing delta brain waves and deactivates the amygdala.  Cross the arms in a hugging gesture.  Gently stroke from the shoulders down to elbows or wrists.  You can use this technique on the face, upper thighs, or palms, as well.  
  1. Conscious relaxation – we hold so much of our stress in the body.  When we can consciously direct the body to release whatever tension we may be holding, particularly in conjunction with the breath, we downregulate the nervous system and release somatically held energy, too. 
  1. Pivot thought/action – A thought, action, happy memory, or mantra that disrupts negative thought loops (rumination) and takes you back to the way that you want to feel rather than the stress that you are experiencing in the moment. For example – the memory of a favorite travel experience, celebration or event with a loved one, an affirmation you can repeat as a mantra – “I am safe, held, and happy” or even just counting backwards from twenty or humming a happy tune.    If you can, play upbeat music, dance, go for a walk/run.  Change your environment to stop those neural loops.   
  1. Mindfulness – Becoming the observer of Self helps to remove the ego/identity from a stressful situation.  Mindfulness has been shown to be incredibly effective in stopping the stress response loop.  Take a moment to become deeply aware of the body wherever it is in space.  You can also try a “mudra”- bringing the fingers together to touch at the thumb/forefinger(index) or thumb/forefinger/middle finger.  This not only anchors us in the body but also closes our energetic circuitry, according to metaphysical theory.  Watch the breath as it flows in and out of the body. 
  1. Scent – Inhaling the aromas of essential oils or burning incense or herbs such as sage, palo santo, lavender, clove, frankincense, rosemary and sandalwood (as well as many other scents) creates a “pattern interrupt” for spiraling thoughts, bypasses the thalamus (logical switchboard) to regulate the limbic/ parasympathetic nervous system, and stimulates the release of feel-good neurotransmitters such as serotonin and dopamine.  Over time, using specific scents can create a “neural bridge” that the brain associates with safety and relaxation.  As an added bonus, watching the rising smoke from incense encourages deeper breathing, also triggering downregulation of the nervous system. 

If things are feeling a little out of control in your life at the moment, I hope learning a few of these tips and techniques will help you to let go of the things that are beyond your control, and get you back to a place of conscious creation and flow. 💫

Big love.💖

  • Terah 

The Power of Connection

by Terah Drake, posted in Uncategorized

We live in a world that feels a little insane right now. 😬

 We spend hours each day distracted by the internet, the political agenda, anxiety over the ever-increasing levels of inflation, and our rage at seeing the country fall apart as bad men hold power with zero accountability.  

It leaves all of us disempowered, a lot less grounded and a little less sane as our “logical mind” is constantly being highjacked by an overwrought amygdala. (Primitive, fear-based part of the brain) 

But what if it didn’t have to be this way?  

Here’s something to consider:  

What if the fastest and surest way to find our own version of sanity and happiness is to find others who share our own, quirky, unique way of seeing and creating happiness?  

🫣What if much of the division we are seeing here in the states is a very intentional agenda to distract, enrage, and disconnect us – from our ability to make sound and logical choices, from our creativity, from our higher self and most of all, from each other? 

🤝Humans need connection.  We have lived in small communities and tightly knit familial homes for thousands of years.  

This was for necessity and protection, of course, but also, because something our forefathers and mothers knew instinctively was that we thrive best when we are in healthy community.  

This is not just a physical phenomenon, but molecular in the unconscious information we share with those around us.  

Beyond that, living in aligned community with others is energetically empowering – when we live in a state of care and shared value, there is an agreement that is struck – let’s  call it an “atomic contract” – that our shared experience and intent becomes a potent force in the universe that 💯 can alter the framework of our reality.  

This mutual, unspoken agreement is a contract struck and held within the fabric of reality that a new, combined way of seeing reality and happiness becomes a shared venture. 

I know this all probably feels a little deep and maybe a bit “woo woo”, but remember that everything, at its foundation, is energy; ✨💫molecules vibrating at different frequencies that put information into the world of what we see as “concrete reality”; literally creating this video-game world, moment by moment.  

 Stick with me here and I will elaborate:

👉Through a shared desire to create a certain type of reality, the power to do exactly that is increased exponentially.  Your will, combining with the will of another, or others, creates a joint manifestation that can literally put into play a whole new level of existence. 

Think of how wonderful we feel when we meet another soul, whether that is a good friend or lover. 💕This feeling  is combined energy that converts our own vibration into something higher as a result of a beautiful alignment between two humans of mindset and heart resonance.  

Tiny home communities are another great example of how combined collaboration can create something greater,, as are co-ops, communes, etc.

We have been taught by religion, political powers, and societal norms(created by those in power) that we have to be “good“ in order to achieve heaven in the next realm of existence, but I don’t personally feel that the way and power from which we shape our reality has any bearing on the human concepts of “right” and “wrong”.

Look at the success Trump has had, for example.

He has a whole family who may not like each other, and all seem to be vile in their own way, but all share the common goal of acquiring great wealth and do that very, very well, though largely by nefarious means.  

(Side note:  I do believe that there is a universal shared agreement or contract that boils down to “do unto others” that we all know, inherently, and should follow.  I also believe strongly in the concept of self-judgement and a possible self-inflicted mental “punishment” – creating “heaven” or  “hell” for ourselves in the last moments before complete brain death.  We know that time is a construct, but especially inside the mind. This heaven or hell could feel like an eternity, though it’s only a few seconds, before our soul rejoins the cosmic force that we call God.  …Working on a story based on this concept rn…🔥😉)

But… back to the main point.  

Royal families breeding close is another example of the power held in intentional co-creation.  Thousands of years of intermarriage keeps that power condensed and DNA lines pure. 

In Marriage vows, we are literally proclaiming in front of a group of people and to the law itself our mutual agreement of will-shaping to the Universe; as a signed and witnessed contract, giving even more energy/power to this newly shared existence. 

(Side note 2 – I do believe that we need to completely reframe and rewrite those traditional vows to reflect the new reality that we are living in -i.e. Greater equality between the sexes, greater financial freedom, a better understanding of healthy relationships and how we can choose – or not-  to be emotionally, physically and energetically healthy within the parameters of our relationships. But I’ll elaborate on that another day)

There are dozens or more examples of how connection empowers us – corporations, podcasts, etc., etc., but you probably get my point, and the purpose for this particular blog.  

We The People need to stop succumbing to the b.s.and division the System is trying to get us to conform to, connecting or reconnecting with others of shared vision and value, and start being intentional about the world we want to see created, together.  

This is how we will find our strength.💪  This is how we empower not only ourselves, but our loved ones and those around us.  We stand together, aligned and empowered, creating a reality where we all have abundance, wealth, and the freedom to live our lives in happiness.  

Big Love.💖

Excavating Our Authenticity: integration of lost Selves

by Terah Drake, posted in Uncategorized

Slot canyon of Paige, Arizona

In Paige, Arizona, just beneath the earth’s surface, there lay long, serpentine crevasses – “Slot Canyons”.  The unearthly experience of being in one of these canyons is like being on another planet; warm reds, browns, golds and even shades of purple coloring narrow stone corridors, sculpted over eons by wind and water to create a spectacular, otherworldly landscape like nothing else.  The journey we walk in this life is much like that canyon: sometimes long and winding, at times so narrow we have to hold our breath to squeeze through, but also at times opening to vast vistas so breathtaking, we could weep for gratitude.

The Swahili word for Journey is “Safari”.  To find your authentic self requires a true Safari; a journey to the self through the self.  This is a journey of spirit, on a spiritual path.  Along the way, you are likely to encounter fierce hunters and predators, wild thick jungles so dense you will need a sharp sword to get through.  You will have periods of darkness where you will wander, hands outstretched and ears wide open, unable to see the path in front of you but moving forward on faith that it is there and you are guided by unseen hands: you are.  

In this Safari of Self, be prepared for upheaval.  There will be moments of hunger as you begin to recognize dysfunctional and unhealthy patterns, as well as those things that your soul longs for.  There will be moments of thirst as understanding begins to tickle the edges of your mind and you want more.  There will be moments of loneliness as unhealthy patterns and associations drop away.

But when you have emerged from that jungle to arrive at the destination of Self; stronger, connected to those who resonate with who you truly are, feeling evolved and luminous – you will wonder that you ever hesitated to take the journey in the first place. 

Rumi, a 13th-century Persian poet and Sufi mystic, observes that “The spiritual path wrecks the body and afterward restores it to health.  It destroys the house to unearth the treasure and with that treasure builds it better than before.”  Bon Voyage, loved one.

“Know Thyself” –  Maxim inscribed upon the Temple of Apollo, Delphi – Plato interpreted this philosophic maxim to mean “Know your soul.”  

Do you feel that you know your Self with a captital S – your soul?  Do you feel solid and whole in who you are, at your core?  

We are meant to be complex, multi-dimensional beings.  When we are whole, we are our most authentic Self; in touch with our highest Self, we are in touch with our child-like nature – our curiosity, sense of fun, possibility, and adventure.  We are able to enjoy pleasure like an embodied, divine being, but also to take radical responsibility for the creation of our lives; to sit down and get sh#t done when it is necessary, like a grown-ass man or woman.  But being integrated isn’t always natural or easy.

Recently, I enjoyed an evening out with one of my oldest friends.  You know those friends that you love on first sight, and know that regardless of time or distance, you just know that you will be friends for life?  She’s one of those.  🥰  We were discussing who we were as kids compared to now.  Once upon a time, she was a badass gangsta with a gorgeous, wicked temper and a propensity to put the hurt on anyone who so much as looked at her beautiful self the wrong way, but now, as an adult working mom she felt she had to become “tame” and as a result, boring. She said she occasionally felt a stirring of that girl inside her, but suppressed that aspect of her Self because she felt that part of her personality would have a negative impact on her personal and professional life.

She had made her career and children her priority, and had stopped living fully or authentically.  She had a wonderful relationship with her kids, but felt limited socially.   She lost her ability to have fun.  She became anxious and disempowered, and badly wanted to reclaim those parts of herself that allowed her to feel a deep sense of joy and satisfaction of life.

I have many friends who feel this way; as though growing up means growing one dimensional.  They have lost their concept of being in touch with their “inner child”, their vulnerability, or their sensuality, because growing up means you have to be a responsible, reliable adult, right?  

As women, we especially need to hold a piece of ourselves as that badass gangsta warrior woman. 

Not an imbalance – she needs to be tempered with compassion, empathy, love and nurturing, but this part of ourselves is where we gain our strength, our power, and when necessary, that momma bear that could tear someone apart with a flick of a wrist if her cubs or loved ones were threatened.  This part of ourselves is also often associated with our sensuality, another piece of our Self that is often either suppressed or overindulged. 

We are meant to be sensual, sexual creatures – it is an aspect of our biology, after all, but that does not mean we have to overly sexualize ourselves to gain value from men, just as repressing the beauty and sexuality of who we are to be “taken seriously” is an imbalance of our authenticity. This imbalance can result in creating a life of loneliness or feeling less-than.  

“I did not lose myself all at once.  I rubbed out my face over the years washing away my pain, the same way carvings on stone are worn down by water.  – Amy Tan

Most of us are taught to suppress our “fullness” from a young age.  We begin to rub parts ourselves away because we want to feel accepted or loved.  We want to “fit in”.  This is perfectly natural, of course.  It is a vital aspect of our DNA to seek connection, companionship and even acceptance of those around us.  We are at our best when we have meaningful connection with others.  When we have loving, supportive partners, family, friends and community.   

The problem is, like my friend, in seeking that approval and acceptance, it can be too easy to go to one extreme of the spectrum of our personalities, closing the door to our complexity, to our ability to express ourselves, or even feel deeply. We become disempowered when we allow others to dictate who we are, though this often happens by degrees, without really even knowing that it is happening.  Has happened. 

We are all glorious, multidimensional beings.✨

We become one-dimensional when we are meant to be multi-dimensional beings.  When we suppress parts of who we are, those parts are like children who are lacking love and attention.  They want to be acknowledged and integrated, and will do whatever it takes to receive the acknowledgment they need, but often in ways that impact us negatively.  Those subconscious parts of ourselves will act out in the form of regression, depression, isolation, dysregulation/overly emotional or angry responses, self-sabotage, or even unexpected violence.   We end up feeling overwhelmed or imbalanced.

Seek not outside of yourself; Heaven is within.  – Mary Lou Cook 

You are a gorgeous, multi-faceted individual who deserves to love every piece of who you are; mind, body and soul.  One of the most important aspects of feeling whole; of good mental health and happiness is acknowledging, embracing, and integrating every aspect of our Self.  We should have access to a sense of our inner child at various stages, our moody or mouthy teen, even the bright-eyed and curious college-age “kid” who we may have thought we grew out of decades ago.  

The following exercises can help you to access lost parts of yourself.  Many,  if not all will likely feel strange, uncomfortable, or emotional for a bit.  Stay with it.  I promise you will experience a shift that can be profound, if you do.  Most of us do not feel truly worthy of love, and part of this is because we spend so much of our lives rejecting those lost parts of ourselves. 

Inner Child Exercise: Find a photo of you as a child.  Hold that photo in your left hand and place your right hand on your heart.  Gaze at the photo, feel the connection between who you are now and who you were then.  Tell that child that you love her.  Do this daily, preferably when you wake and right before bed, when your mind is in a relaxed state.  (Theta brain wave)

Physical touch Exercise:  Give yourself a hug.  Say “Thank you, I love you.”  Stay in this position until you feel a sense of love and appreciation.  Alternatively, place one hand on your heart, one on your navel just below your belly button.  Close your eyes and repeat “Thank you, I love you.’  

Mirror Exercise:  Look at yourself in the mirror.  Really look.  Find three things that you like and admire about your face.  Say it aloud, then follow with –  “I love you.”  

Visual Affirmation Exercise: Write love notes to yourself such as “I love you.”  “You are beautiful/intelligent/worthy/capable, etc.” “I love the way we play.” Or I appreciate our curiosity/sensuality/childlike nature, etc.”  

Deep Inner Work Exercise:  Find a place to get quiet.  Come into your breath, spend some time just observing the slow inflow and outflow of breath from your lungs and nose.   When you feel quiet, ask yourself the question – what aspects of You have you repressed?  Who wants to be heard and have a conversation? 

When you have a sense of what part(s) of your Self need to have some attention, whether it is your inner child, your powerful warrior,  your sensual being, or any other aspect of personality that you may have ignored or suppressed, it is time to have a conversation.  Don’t be surprised if you feel some negative energy.  You may feel a little queasy, frightened, frustrated, angry – or a host of other emotions that we tend to keep under wraps, afraid to show who we really are.  Observe and allow whatever you are feeling to be, but hold that part of you as the calm in the storm.   

What you may need to say or experience to those lost parts of yourself is entirely personal, but once you begin to feel centered, a conversation might look something like this:  “Hello, my Love.  It has been too long.”  I have missed you.” “I am so very sorry that I ignored you for so long.”  “I love you.”   “I will never neglect you again.”  “Can we find a way to be fully integrated/together?”  Stay with that part of yourself until you do feel a sense of integration.  Be prepared to come back to this aspect of self regularly for a while – it takes time to heal a rift that may have been years in the making.  Plus, loving and accepting ourselves should be daily practice.  When you have come to the place where you feel those previously suppressed and forgotten parts of who you were once again as who you are, you will not only feel a deeper sense of wholeness and empowerment, but you will fall in love with yourself in a way that you may not have even known was possible.  And that is a beautiful thing. 

We must learn to accept and love each aspect of our history – and ourself.✨

Today, I hope that you will find time to pull the lid off of those parts of yourself that you have suppressed and repressed for too long.  Give them some love and attention, and gratitude for being vital aspects of yourself; of what has gotten you to where you are today, and begin working towards full integration.  Feel that beautiful complexity from your toes to your fingertips, and into the fullest expression of who you truly are.  You deserve it.

Big love. 💖

  • Terah

Awareness = Alignment

by Terah Drake, posted in Uncategorized
Our frequency creates our reality

Yesterday morning, as I sat in a hotel hot tub with my son, engaged in stimulating conversation about current events with a lovely couple from Portland, we discussed how much fear there is in the world right now. The couple expressed that there were moments when it was hard not to feel hopeless. I understand this feeling, but when we are stuck in a place of fear, it is too easy to lose perspective of the big picture.

It’s true that it feels very much like we are in a downward cycle in many places in the world, but particularly in America right now. Inflation has skyrocketed, causing the cost of living to dramatically increase for most of us.  regardless of our political affiliation, we all know how tenuous things are feeling politically and socially, as well.

Yet it is equally true that in spite of all of this, the vast majority of us here in America live so much better than humans have as a whole perhaps in our entire known history. Most of us have plenty of food to eat, a roof over our heads, community around us, good sanitation and reasonably goods health.

When we are able to keep our focus on the good of our lives rather than becoming a slave to fear, our neurochemistry creates a cycle of well-being and good health in the body and mind.

Beyond that, when we are in a state of appreciation and gratitude, we raise the vibration of our magnetic field and our frequency – just like a radio, projects information that is picked up by those nearest us. According to quantum entanglement, this also extends into the world and the universe beyond, potentially creating greater good in the world, and an increased likelihood of a positive future for all of us.

I realize that it’s not always easy to remain in this state full time, of course. Contrast happens in everyone’s lives, and the thousands of little stressors that each of us experience day-to-day adds up to what can feel overwhelming, at times. But with awareness and practice, we can achieve ease and even joy, the majority of the time.

Personally, though I am naturally inclined to be an optimist, I have certainly had periods in my life where things felt so dark that it was difficult to find the light.

There are times when I have to be acutely conscious of where I am allowing my thoughts and emotions to go, and when I find myself going into that bad place, redirecting to something better to keep myself on that upswing. It feels so much better to stay in the light than to be stuck in a “dark room” of self-pity or victimization.

We are all writing the novels of our own lives each moment, and when I reach the last chapter, I want to know that I played the hero and not the victim or villain of this amazing story.✨

I use meditation, self-hypnosis techniques, music, good, nourishing food, self-care, travel, exercise, especially outdoors, and forms of therapy such as writing, art, dancing, or social time to bring me back to remembrance of how extraordinarily blessed my life is.

These last couple of days have been a poignant example of the joy – and the frustration – that makes this life into such a beautifully complex and flavorful stew. I spent the weekend moving loads between Whatcom County and my new place in Eastern Washington; sometimes driving 14 hours a day with only a few hours of rest between driving and loading/unloading a U-Haul trailer. Monday, I took time to take my dogs on a beautiful walk on the Riverside trail in Ellensburg, then met up with my son in #bellinghamwashington for a little retail therapy, dinner The Bellwether with friends and family (check out this spectacular rainbow!) then a long soak and sauna before bed. The next morning found me happily soaking again, enjoying conversation with new friends, but things got challenging in the afternoon when one of the tires on the U-Haul I rented blew out on a busy stretch of highway.

I had purchased roadside service, thankfully, and called to get assistance immediately. I spent 15 minutes on the phone with an agent who assured me he would reach out shortly to give me an ETA of when someone would arrive to either change the tire or tow the U-Haul to be repaired.

An hour passed in my overly warm vehicle, dogs panting in the back, with no word from the service provider.🫤 needless to say, after the first hour, I was feeling more than a little cranky.

Finally, I called the company again to learn that somehow, the agent had neglected to submit the report. A new agent got a report submitted and an hour later help arrived. Excell Commercial Tire Service was quick to get the tire changed courteous, and professional despite the fact that there was only about 2 inches between said tire and the right hand lane of the highway.

I got back on the road, later than I had hoped but safely rolling. In Cle Elum, I picked up a Thai iced tea from a charming little Thai restaurant owned by an Irishman and his Thai wife. Once more on the road, I was finally feeling back to my usual happy place when I managed to dump the entire 24 ounces of tea all over my car when the lid popped off as i was lifting it from the cup holder.

I admit there was a major WTAF to the Universe/Unified Field. I pulled over, cleaned up the tea, and took a moment to re-center, reminding myself that life is complex. Sometimes, we can hold pain in one hand and still have joy in the other.

It can be true that big picture, the vast majority of us are incredibly blessed and fortunate to have the life that we do, but it doesn’t mean we are not going to experience contrast or even hardship.

This is part of what makes those blessings so very sweet. I have experienced plenty of contrast and over the course of my life. I have suffered abuse, great losses, and financial hardship, just like many others.

But I believe that my ability to come back to a state of optimism and appreciation of for the beauty of this life is the reason that I have also had so many extraordinary blessings – extensive travel, satisfying businesses/career, economic comfort, most of the time. Opportunities for education, expansion, and most importantly, beautiful connections with amazing humans in my family, friendships, and kinships I have found with people around the world.

I am not unique or special in this. Every single human shares the ability to create happiness, whatever that looks like to each individual – through these basic practices of awareness and intention of where we allow our thoughts and emotions to reside, the majority of the time.

The late Dr. David Hawkins; clinician, author, and researcher, theorized that the closer to “enlightenment“ we as individuals become, the greater our impact on the evolution of all:

👉 One human, who vibrates at the energy of optimism and non-judgmentalism can counter balance, the negativity of 90,000 individuals who are on lower, weaker vibrational frequencies.

👉 One human who vibrates at the energy of pure love and reverence for all of life can counterbalance the negativity of 750,000 lower vibrations.

👉 One human who vibrates at the energy of illumination, bliss, and peace, will counterbalance the negativity of 10 million people who are calibrated to a lower vibration.

👉 One human who vibrates to the energy of grace, spirit beyond the body and non-duality/oneness will counterbalance the negativity of 70 million people calibrated to a lower vibration.

👉 One human who lives in vibrates as an avatar of highest consciousness – such as Christ, Krishna, or the Buddha – well, counterbalance the collective negativity of all mankind in today’s world.

Wow, right?🤯

This is the way that we can change the world, regardless of what is happening economically, socially, in our political arenas, or beyond.

One intentional thought pattern at a time – until happiness becomes habitual.🥰

Big love.💖

These Small Moments

by Terah Drake, posted in Uncategorized
Little moments of beauty and comfort…

I am currently reading #theatlasofhappiness by @mshelenrussell, a book detailing different customs of increasing happiness from around the world.

Loving the different ideas of what #happiness is from so many different cultural perspectives.  This morning’s chapter was from #finland 🇫🇮; my grandmother’s home country.  The Finns are a stoic people; having spent many centuries under the rule and thumb of other nations, they learned over generations to be more “survive” than “thrive”.  Their national version of happiness – #kalsarikännit – interpreted as “Drinking at home in your underwear with not intention of going out” 😆😆- isn’t exactly my personal ideal, but each to their own. 🤷‍♀️

As I sit here enjoying the fragrance of #lemon from my tea, the layers of color, texture, and comfort that I have built into my #nest , and the coziness of this moment, it occurs to me that there is no one “big idea” to define an overall sense of happiness in life. 

Lasting happiness is a series of small moments, such as the one I am in the experience of right now, that add up and compound upon each other to create a life of enduring and deep-rooted contentment. 

I believe that a large part of the reason that so many people have continued anxiety and depression is because we are always “doing”.  We are somewhere in the past or the future rather than just being right here, in appreciation of the moment. 

There is hard science to back this theory.🧑‍🔬

When we are fully present in each moment, especially when we take time to breathe deeply, our sympathetic nervous system (the excitatory system) switches to a parasympathetic nervous system (inhibitory/calming), reducing the stress hormones cortisol and adrenaline and increasing happiness hormones such as serotonin and dopamine, creating a greater sense of calm and well-being.  (Add a snuggle with your favorite person or a pet and you get a hit of oxytocin – the “connection hormone”, not only enhancing mood but also empathy, kindness and generosity.)   Over time and with practice, our baseline of happiness hormones and emotional resiliency increase, and stress hormones in the system decrease.  

What’s especially wonderful about this is that your higher levels of ease and contentment have amazing health and longevity benefits, such as lowering blood pressure, regulating blood sugar levels and metabolic function, lowering the risk of heart disease, and creating better cognitive function and neurological health.  

So if you are looking for a greater sense of overall contentment, ease, and joy in your life, look no further than the moment you’re in.  It’s true that some moments are better than others, but there is always something to be grateful for.  If we can find that appreciation and just rest and breathe in that space of gratitude, those moments will increase and and there will be a time when you realize that, in spite of the contrast that being a human on the planet earth brings, you are happy.🥰

How wonderful is that? 

Big love.💖

Green Flags – Seeing the Good

by Terah Drake, posted in Uncategorized

I recently watched a YouTube video by relationship guru #JimmyKnowles from “Jimmy on Relationships” on the topic of “green flags” in people.  In the video, he gave what I felt was an incredibly insightful metaphor on focusing on people with positive traits rather than searching for the negative.  He gave a great metaphor to explain this, pertaining to “Currency Discriminators”.  Currency Discriminators are counterfeit money experts.  Apparently, they rarely spend much time looking at counterfeit bills.  Instead, they spend most of their time becoming so familiar with authentic currency that anything that is fake or false jumps out at them.  They learn what real looks like so they can easily spot a fake.  

Interesting, right?  And so apt for this particular subject. 

Looking for red lights in others seems to be pervasive in our current culture.  Anyone who spends time on social media or watching the news has heard of “toxic” or narcissistic behavior.  There are hundreds or thousands of podcasts, videos and memes that teach us what to look for in order to spot a narcissist or a toxic person. 

The problem is, if we are focusing on or dwelling on the darkness in others, it is impossible for us to be fully in the light, ourselves.  But, if instead of spending so much of our energetic currency looking for red flags in people, we put more focus on looking for and celebrating good people and the beauty and wonder of life in general, the toxic bullsh#t might just fade into the background.  Like feeding the good wolf rather than the evil one, the good that we feed will prevail. 

Where focus goes, energy flows…What we are, we attract.  We are the problem, and the solution. 

When we view the world (and ourselves) through the lens of love, the world begins to look back at us in the same way.  Focusing on the positive traits in ourselves and others brings more positive into our own lives. 

Here are some “Green Lights” to look for in those that we might be considering deepening relationships with.  When we get good at spotting authentic currency, it makes it easier to see and avoid the false and the unhealthy. 

  1. Honesty – They are honest in their word and deed.   Their actions reflect their words.  They have integrity between who they say they are and what they believe  – and how they behave.  Lying is a red flag for serious underlying issues, and a commitment to honesty is the best indicator for future success in relationships. If you can’t trust your partner everything else is pointless – or just won’t be there.
  2. Kindness –  You feel safe around them.  You can be vulnerable with each other.   They make you feel prioritized.  They are consistent.  You should never be confused about where you stand in relationships.  If they hold you in value, they will put in the effort – we prioritize what we value.  
  3. Communication – They communicate openly and honestly.  You can have hard conversations without them shutting down, running away or becoming hostile.  They can communicate their own discomfort with openness and vulnerability. 
  4. Humor/sense of fun –  They are able to hold life lightly.  They don’t take themselves or life too seriously.  They can joke and be silly without being rude.  Having a sense of humor is a huge green flag.  
  5. Open mindedness – They are flexible.  They are willing to approach the unfamiliar and can allow someone to hold a different view or perspective without dismissing or invalidating them.  
  6. Accountability – They have a “repair and rebuild” mentality.  They are able to acknowledge and apologize for their words or actions.  They say “I’m sorry” and genuinely mean it, even if they did not intend to cause pain or unhappiness.  
  7. Empathy – They understand others’ pain.  They are curious about what makes others feel or what they think.   Empathy helps us to feel safe and loved. 
  8. Vulnerability – They connect with themselves and others.  They can communicate how they feel openly and honestly. 
  9. Praise – They celebrate others’ wins.   They can praise others without feeling shame, themselves. 
  10. Growth mindset – They are self-aware.  They have an attitude of gratitude. They are curious about life and have an interest in learning about how to grow and evolve.  If we do not understand our own destructive or sabotaging patterns, we can neither grow or have compassion for others.  This is not about perfection, but a continued expansion into the best version of ourselves.  
  11. They see everyone as equal.   They treat others with value and care, understanding that our differences are our strengths, and our value lies in what makes us individually who we are.  Teamwork makes the dream work!
  12.  They have healthy relationships with others.  They hold healthy relationships with friends, co-workers and family.  They are able to openly display affection and care for those they spend time with.  They get along with a diverse group of people.

No one on the planet is “perfect”, of course. But when we seek out and focus on the good in others – and ourselves – we are creating a better world for everyone.  We teach our children and others to see the good to learn to better  be the good that we wish to create in the world.  

What positive traits do you look for and celebrate in others?

Big love.💖

  • Terah 

Reincarnation Reevaluation

by Terah Drake, posted in Uncategorized

It is estimated that just over half the world believes in reincarnation. Buddhists, Hindus, Sikhs, and Jainists all believe that our souls are eternal and keep incarnating in new bodies after we shed the previous skin of a lifetime.  In fact, up to 25% of Christians believe it, as well.  I found it interesting to learn that many philosophers, such as Pythagoras, Plato, and Socrates, also believed in the continued rebirth of the soul.  

From a quantum physics standpoint, energy cannot “die”, but must be transferred or transformed.  A tree becomes a log that is put into a fire to become a flame, to become ash, to become earth, to once again become a tree…

In spite of my own very traditional Christian upbringing, I’ve had a few experiences that have led me to believe that I’ve been around the proverbial block a few times now, too.  I like to think of each lifetime as a school. When we’re a young soul, we get to go to kindergarten and life is pretty easy. We don’t think terribly deeply, and we’re mostly here for a good time, even though we are still learning simple lessons.  

 As we progress through lifetimes/grade levels, things get a little harder, but I think that’s by choice. That maybe before we are born, we choose the classes that we are going to take to best help us grow; to evolve and become Creators in our own right. By the time we’re in “university”, many of us are choosing some really f#cking hard life lessons so that we can achieve exponential growth.  

I don’t know that we all pass every class that we take. Sometimes, we get stuck in victim mentality, or we get drawn into materialism, or those hard lessons cause us to become embittered rather than more compassionate.  Sometimes when we are given the opportunity for growth we allow fear to rule us and we stay stuck rather than advancing.  

Eventually, we shed our mortal coil and we get to go again, perhaps with some encoded memory that we’ve been here before, and hopefully do it a little better next time.  

But over the past couple of years, I’ve started to think that maybe I should be a little more global in my belief system when it comes to reincarnation.  I’m not so sure that it always has to mean that we literally die, go to some other place for reassignment and then come back as another person. 

I think maybe we also reincarnate many times, in one lifetime.  The death may be more metaphoric than literal, but we’ve all been through many experiences where we felt like some part of us died, as with the death of or separation from someone or something (such as a career) we love, or perhaps it is the “death” of some aspect of our identity or ego that we have carried from childhood. In fact, it is said that when someone consider suicide, it is not the whole self that wants to die, but rather some aspect of the ego that long ago stopped serving us.

When we go through these “little deaths”, we may feel that we are in purgatory for a time, and it can be months, or even years before we begin to crawl out of the protective cocoon we have built for ourselves, to learn to fly again. To be reborn, each time a little – or a lot –  of a different person.  

I’ve had a number of such experiences throughout my life; usually following some really frickin’ hard lessons.  I have been through some of these over the past three years or so, but recently found myself in a situation that caused acute emotional pain; asking the question – “WTAF Universe (Unified Field/Source/God/Jah/whatever works for you); this totally sucks.  Why am I getting this lesson AGAIN?  

To be immediately followed with “oh.”  

Because I didn’t learn the first time.  If we fail a test in a particular class in school, if we are lucky and our instructor/teacher/professor takes mercy on us, we can re-take that test. I believe the Universe is infinitely merciful and so we get to take the test over. And sometimes, over, and over…and hopefully, eventually we figure it out. We have our “oh” or “aha” moment.

So the question, when we find ourselves in the same lesson, must be:  “What did I need to learn here?”  Sometimes, with those BIG lessons, it takes a bit of deep work to figure it out.  We have to look at and work through the source of the thought processes that are creating or drawing to us these challenging experiences.  But  as soon as we realize what the lesson was all along, there is this amazing feeling of “aha”, and a knowledge that we just moved up a level.  We shed the heaviness that was connected to what we were holding, and remember that we have wings again.  We re-incarnate, lighter, happier, and excited for the future.  

Of course, there will always be many other lessons to learn, but that particular class is passed, and past.  

What’s especially exciting about the idea of multiple reincarnations within each lifetime; whether they are related to relationships, lack/poverty thinking, victim mentality, low self-value/self love or any other issue or program that has been carried from a flawed or traumatic childhood, is that just like being born into a new body with a new family, many of the old, unhealthy habits and people that were an aspect of that life and vibrational resonance drop away and healthier, happier habits and communities are formed. 

 We learn to set healthy boundaries and care for ourselves better.  New opportunities show up.  We become more deliberate in the creation of our personal reality.  As an additional bonus, being a little further along the path enables us to guide and help others create a happier reality for themselves, too.  We are ripples on a pond, contributing in our own way to the evolution of humanity.  

How cool is that?😎

Have you had this experience?  Have you felt like you have lived many lives in this lifetime?  I’d love to see your stories!

Big love.💖

– Terah

Co-creation = Go-creation (Do the work and the Universe opens the doors)

by Terah Drake, posted in Uncategorized

It amazes me how often reality shifts in exactly the right direction when we make the decision to consciously create – or co-create – a fun and meaningful existence.

Occasionally, we have to do some major internal housecleaning In order to stay on-purpose with this, but just like anything, when we do the work to be as much the fullest expression of who we were meant to be, the Universe unfolds to create doors where we thought the windows were closed and sometimes creates fields of daisies and perfect pathways where we would have sworn there were walls or at least a thicket of thorns.

How often do we exchange distraction for living?

I booked a last-minute trip to the Oregon Coast last week for a variety of reasons; ranging from late autumn and winter being my favorite time to be on the coast, and the timing worked out well with being able to find sitters for my critters.

I also knew that I needed someplace quiet to clear my mind, to literally put my brain in a different point of reference (one of the reasons I love travel) and try to work past the writers block I have been experiencing for the first time, possibly in my life, over these last few months. To get to the heart, so to speak, of why I find myself avoiding sitting down to do something that normally feels incredibly important and easy to me.

Haystack Rock, Cannon Beach. 3rd largest intertidal monolith in the world!

It took me five days to figure it out. In that time, it has felt like the Universe has given me every green light (literally speaking – it’s been remarkable) and opened every possible door in the most beautiful way, perhaps so that I could give every worry and anxiety over and just do the work.

I’m not a huge fan of organized religion or the labels that we like to put on such a vast and unknowing idea as Source, or God, or the Unified Field – but I personally like the All That Is, because well, that Intelligence, that Wisdom, that Love, that Creativity – is in every particle of everything that is, right? Is every particle which means we are all part of God.

If I were having a conversation with this Intelligence last week, I imagine it sounding something like this:

“Heya, ATI? You around for a chat?”

“Hello, Terah. Always. What’s on your mind? Though who are we kidding, really- I know exactly what’s on your mind because I am you and vice versa. But let’s hear it out loud, anyway.”

(Trying not to roll my eyes and likely failing) “Well, you already know that writing seems to be not working well for me lately, and I’ve got a couple of books that really should have been at least submitted for editing a while back. I get distracted by a thousand things between weekly classes, clients, housework, yard work, projects that need finishing, bread that “needs” baking, meals to prepare, family, social life and of course, the critters.” And if I’m not doing any of that, I will find any other excuse to avoid doing the one thing that really lights me up and gives me a sense of purpose. I know I should be leaving the distractions and sitting down to work but…it’s not working.

“Wow. That’s a mouthful. I know it’s hard for you to let go of the habit of taking everything on yourself. Do you think maybe you aren’t writing because you are putting too much pressure on yourself? Or maybe, just maybe, you are holding a little too tightly to the reins and need to let go of the pressure, of the overwhelm, and that illusion of control you’ve got going on over there?”

“Uhhh. Maybe?”😶‍🌫️

“Alright. Let’s do this. Hop online, book your fave resort on the coast and I’ll take care of the rest so you can focus on getting your head back in the game and letting go of all of those distractions for a while.”

“But – what about the animals?”

“Done.”

“Thanksgiving week is going to be stupid expensive down there. I’m not paying $600 or more a night, especially when I just had a couple of nearly back-to-back trips.

“Check your email. You will find a “member appreciation” discount.” And btdubs, I’ll make sure you get the upgrades because we both know you like a little luxury to ease the process. A spoonful of sugar and all that…”

#hallmarkresortcannonbeach

“Oh. Ok!” Maybe this will work out! But the weather forecast looks pretty awful except for Monday…”

“I’ve got that covered, too. Now for the love of – well. Me – get packed. Don’t leave everything to last minute.”

Since I’ve been here, the weather has been incredible. The coffee has been perfect, the food – every single meal – has been amazing. The servers I’ve been blessed to have have been so incredibly kind; my breakfast at #thewayfarerrestaurant of avocado toast with poached eggs this morning especially memorable. My waitress made a point to give me the best table with a view available; a large cozy booth that should have sat six rather than one struggling writer. She even sent me off with a cup of Sleepy Monk coffee for my walk down the beach, on the house. 🥰

#insomniacoffee #sleepymonkcoffee – my two local faves.

I lost sight of myself and my work because I was overwhelmed with the “stuff”. With the increasing pressure I put on myself. With trying to help and heal everyone and everything, but not taking the time to help myself in the way that I needed it most – to really dig deep to acknowledge that at the heart of my distraction was – fear. Fear that my writing isn’t good enough. Fear that I’ll never reach a wider audience and if I do, fear that I won’t be good enough to help so many people. Fear that if I do birth these books and help many others with their own distractions and doubts, it will get beyond me. I’m just one person in the world and it’s a huge dream.

But this trip was the reminder that I needed that am not just one small person with a big fucking dream. Far from it.

I can’t remember a time in my life of ever feeling lonely, in part because even as a child, I have always had a sense of connection to something greater – though I wasn’t sure exactly what that was. I still don’t have the hubris to believe that I could understand something so vast as what “God” might be, but I do know that I am connected to every particle in the Universe, to every beautiful human who is trying to figure out this reality, and every beautiful human who has already figured out how to shape this reality, to the empty space that is the Unified Field and everything in between.

I see love…💖

But lately, it’s felt like the connection was a little fuzzier; like a bad connection between cell phones. I knew the connection was there but wasn’t getting the whole conversation; creating even greater confusion.

But this trip, I had such a definite sense of something Greater having my back to work out the details, and in a spectacular fashion. It was exactly the catalyst that I needed to not only figure my sh#t out but also finally see a clear path forward to get back to work.

I don’t expect to go home and have all of my projects magically completed, all the meals cooked to my palate and waiting to be savored. The distractions will still be there. The work will still need to be addressed. Contrast will happen. But understanding a few more of my own internal mechanisms and how to work through them should give me the impetus I need to keep my focus where it needs to be.

And on those days that feel a little extra crunchy, I can have a little internal dialogue with The All That Is, and I have a strong feeling that it just might look something like this:

“Sooooo, hey there, ATI? Big Brain?”

“Hi Terah. What’s up?”

“I’m struggling here a bit… I could use a little help in this whole co-creation thing”

(Visually rolls up sleeves with a cosmic grin). “Thought you’d never ask. Let’s get to work.”

Whichever way reality happens to bend and shift; Wherever life goes from there, I am confident that everything is working out exactly as it should be – beautifully. 💕

How do you see the world? Is it working for you, or against you?🤔

Big love.

– Terah💖

Protecting your Peace/Ho’oponopono

by Terah Drake, posted in self development, self-growth, confidence, self worth, self-development

To an emotionally unhealthy person, clear boundaries or a “no” is either a challenge or a personal affront.  

To someone who is whole or on their healing journey, there is no possibility for affront.  Choosing to listen to one’s own needs instead of people pleasing is a mark of self-respect and value.  

We must nourish ourselves before we can feed others…

Babe. Grab a cuppa and a comfy chair because we are going to take a little dive into a number of subjects today that all tie together, eventually. But the overarching theme here – and this is so important – is this:

You have a right and a responsibility to protect your peace.  

This may seem like a no-brainer to some, but it is a radical concept to others who might be accustomed to being the peacemaker in family and peer dynamics – rather than the peace holder.

Protecting your peace means it’s not only ok, but vital that we learn to set healthy boundaries for ourselves, our time, and our energetic resources.  It is making sure we find time for self-care and learning what it is that makes us as individuals happy. 

Because Goddess knows, it can be only too easy to lose ourselves in the interests and lives of our partners, peers, and parents. And of course, our children, if we have them.

“Until we are able to love and take care of ourselves, we cannot be much help to others.”

This doesn’t mean that we should not care for and share interests and passions with those close to us, of course.  Loving those around us makes everyone’s lives better, and common ground is the best place to find healthy, happy connection, right?  But finding a sense of authenticity and joy in our lives requires finding the balance between loving ourselves and others.  

I like to imagine our bodies, minds, and the magnetic field that surrounds us as an energy storehouse.  When we are in balance with ourselves and the world around us – happy with ourselves, our partnerships, family dynamics, social groups, and career or purpose, our energy levels are full.  Light. We feel easy in the world and are able to share some of that stored energy with those around us.  

But it can also be too easy to get caught up in the drama of someone else’s toxic mentality – and we have absolutely no obligation to invest our time and headspace into energy vampires – people or things that draw from our energy accounts without any promise of return.  

This can be so hard for those of us who are empaths, people pleasers or fixer/mediator type personalities.

Here’s where an interesting concept comes in – Have you heard of the ancient Hawaiian practice of Ho’ oponopono? 

The word translates into English as “Correction”, but also contains the synonyms “manage” or “supervise”.  The practice, often facilitated by a family elder or a Hawaiian Hapuna – healer/priest – is one of healing, reconciliation, forgiveness and love, often within a family or extended family, but extending to anyone who breaks Kapu, or spiritual laws.  Often, when a member of the community became ill, a Hapuna would be consulted to help the person become healthy again through finding forgiveness from the Gods or the person with whom there may have been a dispute.  

The practice of Ho’oponopono consists of four simple phrases – 

~ I’m sorry.

~ Please forgive me. 

~ Thank you. 

~ I love you.

Ho’oponopono is taking responsibility for one’s thoughts or actions, making amends through word or deed, giving gratitude and love to the situation or person we may have wronged. This is a beautifully powerful practice and I believe we can take this idea and practice into every aspect of our lives to create greater unity and wholeness within ourselves, our relationships, and the world around us.

The thing is, apologies and vulnerable communication can be so hard.  

Often, our past (childhood) programming translates the need for an apology or regular, honest communication from someone as “I must be bad/wrong/unloveable”, etc.  This is rarely if ever the case, of course, but remember that an estimated 98% of our daily thoughts and actions are acted from our subconscious, (ego) and most of that began in the first eight years of life. 

Our conscious mind may not understand or even care to query as to why it is difficult to say “I am sorry” or communicate without feeling defensive, frightened or intimidated. When we are acting from past trauma or unhealthy patterns, the amygdala – the brain’s processor for emotional responses, decision making, – and emotional response – is triggered, causing us to go into a state of anxiety, anger or fear. This is a primitive, emotional survival-instinct based reaction.

Amygdala “ reaction” Vs. Pre-frontal cortex “response” – If it’s histrionic (emotion-based) it’s history-based.

It requires some deep self-exploration and conscious awareness to find the root of our behaviors.  Frankly, I don’t believe we can fully do this until we confront the faulty belief systems that our parents, caregivers and peers implanted in our minds from an early age (lack of value/unworthiness.  Abandonment.  Fear-based thinking/survival.  Disempowerment. The list goes on…) 

This is where the concept of Ho’oponopono related to the self can be applied to assist in the reprogramming and healing process.  When we begin to practice having curiosity about how our internal states are reflected in our outside world on a regular basis, we can begin to address those unhealthy and untrue patterns and programmed ways of thinking.

We can learn to love ourselves in the way that our earliest caregivers perhaps did not know how to. We can forgive ourselves for our past to move forward in a manner based on a healthier EQ, have gratitude and appreciation for who we are in the present moment. All of this establishes the habit of growing the neural network of response from the prefrontal cortex; the part of the brain linked to higher-order functions such as logic, empathy, care and altruism. We learn to be in a place of responding rather than reacting. We learn to validate others’ feelings and take accountability for our own words and behaviors that might sometimes be less than constructive or healthy for ourselves or those around us.

@drtstaswart 😎

The process of healing and learning to be aware and take accountability for every aspect of who we are in the present is not easy, as I mentioned above. I began learning about psychology, trauma, and eventually neurobiology and quantum physics/vibrational realities decades ago -not to help others, but to learn to heal myself and my own childhood trauma.

It’s amazing to me how even now, I occasionally discover layers of early dysfunctional programming and behaviors that I had absolutely no idea were there, particularly around my value system in my most intimate relationships.

But as hard and sometimes frightening as this learning and growth is, it can also be exciting, as I have spoken of in past posts and blogs relating to neurochemistry and confronting discomfort eventually giving us an emotional “high”. (#intothechaos) I don’t think I could stress in words just how worth it it is to do that healing in order to create a happier, healthier version of ourselves in our present and future realities; though, if you’ve read any of my work, you know I try.👀.

Which takes us back to Ho’oponopono and healing ourselves and our close relationships.

How can it relate when it comes to protecting our own peace while still caring for others? 

Not everyone decides to take a pathway to healing.  

Some are just too entrenched in those patterns and programs – ego-identification driven behaviors that they can not see or even try to see that their behaviors, words and actions are harmful. It is important to honor whatever or whomever they decide to be.

Every single human is on their own path.  No matter how much an individual might be able to “see” why a person is the way they are, (why can’t they see their beauty and potential?…) each of us have to be responsible for the maintenance of only our own side of the road.  

If someone looking for a better reality comes to us, we can do our best to provide some guideposts on the journey but even then, holding expectations for any other human besides ourselves only damages ourselves and our ability to have healthy relationships.  

Sometimes, it is people that are close to us – family or friends that we have known perhaps our whole lives – that are toxic and unwilling or unable to do the work to be someone that we want to spend time and our energetic resources on. We may still love them deeply for the history we shared, but ⬆️⬆️ A. We can’t “fix” anyone. And B. If we don’t protect our peace/energetic resources, we have less to share with those who come willingly to our pathway that may need it most.

Are they ready to get out of the mud?

Let me give an example of this.  I had coffee and a chat with a close friend about this subject recently.  

“Elizabeth” is a healer and empath with a history of unhealthy relationships beginning in early childhood.  In spite of her history of trauma, she has a beautiful petal-pink heart, and is committed to self-growth and evolution.  She loves to love people, but like many empathy and healers, also has a tendency to give more of herself than she has to give.  As a result, she often draws narcissists and energy vampires because she has difficulty protecting her energy field. 

Imagine a lake of crystal-clear water surrounded by a forest filled with creatures.  Every thirsty animal is going to come to drink from, swim in, and carouse in the lake, right?  Eventually, as we know of African waterholes, the banks become muddy and the water murky and low from so many draining and churning up the water. 

Alternatively, we have a neighboring lake that has a large fence around it with a gate that opens when a thirsty animal or small group of creatures comes over.  The animals learn from the gatekeeper that they are welcome to drink if they are well behaved and drink only what they need.  The lake remains pristine and full, as a result.  

Beautiful, right?  

But Elizabeth has only recently been learning to protect her peace – her lake.  So some unhealthy folks from her past still come around, expecting unlimited energy from her – and get Pissed with a capital P when she protects her boundaries.  They kick and scream, say awful things and accuse her of being a terrible person and not being a “true friend” for not giving them unlimited access to her resources.  

When we spoke of this, she was emotionally torn between knowing that healthy boundaries abOore necessary, and that she can’t “fix” or “save” those that don’t really want to be saved – and feeling guilty for not being a “true friend”.   

But what she wasn’t considering is that true friendship is always a two-sided relationship.  Always.  It doesn’t mean that the way two people express their care is necessarily the same – past programming/experience, love languages and attachment styles rarely if ever cross over completely – but there is always a give and take of energy between both people in any healthy relationship.  In a healthy relationship, both parties should feel filled, at least most of the time.   

Beyond that, it doesn’t matter how much good or potential we see in someone – if they don’t want to do the work to bring out that light in themselves, they will only end up drawing those who try to “help” them further into their darkness.  

So we spoke of Ho’oponopono, and sending love – speaking or thinking of them from a distance – to those people from her past – or present – that did not respect her boundaries or value her caring heart.  

Here’s what I suggested as her Ho’oponopono “prayer” to her old friend:  

~ I am sorry for what you have been through.

~ Please forgive me for whatever pain I may have caused you.

~ Thank you for the wonderful moments of our past.

~ I love you, and wish you happiness. 

This practice allows us to send loving kindness and healing to others – and ourselves – without having to physically engage in potentially exhausting mental and energetic judo with a toxic friend, family member, employer or peer.

Here’s a huge bonus aspect of putting this practice into “meditation” – It helps us build a healthier, happier brain.  

According to Chade-Meng Tan;(@chandemeng ) Nobel Peace Prize nominee (One Billion Acts Of Peace) and author of Joy on Demand, sitting in silence for just three minutes and sending peace, love, or happiness “I wish for ______ to be happy” can drastically improve your own happiness baseline.

I did a little dive into the neurological and neurobiological processes of this phenomena and discovered that not only does this practice increase activity in the prefrontal cortex and create new neural pathways that help us to better self-regulate our emotional responses (NIH PMID 25646442), but it also lowers cortisol levels and increases oxytocin and serotonin. I’d call that a win all the way around, right? 😎

For me, I often incorporate this practice into my morning meditation.  I place my left hand on my heart and my right on my abdomen, breathe slowly and deeply and repeat the prayer or mantra as I visualize someone in my life or from my own past that I would like to send some healing and love to.  

Incidentally, Meditation doesn’t have to be sitting in lotus with a loincloth and a bindi.  I have also practiced this while out on a walk, cooking a meal, or even while creating art.  Anything that puts us into a state of “flow” can be considered meditation.  

(Bearing in mind, there has been significant research on the myriad physiological and neurological benefits of sitting in quiet focus for just 10 minutes each day.  That is a whole blog unto itself (or a book) so we won’t go into details, but something to consider…)

But meditation aside, practicing just a few minutes of Ho’oponopono each day can be a powerful tool for learning to create and honor your own boundaries while still loving others that may not be healthy for us to continue a relationship with. Remember that your energetic resources are finite, and protecting the beauty and purity of your “lake” will not only keep you happier and healthier but will also draw healthier people to you as you move forward on your journey.

How are you learning to protect your energy and your peace? What tools or techniques have been most helpful in setting and keeping healthy boundaries? Is there anything here that especially resonates?

Big love.💖

  • Terah