Tag: #empowerment

Surrender – Appreciating the beauty in the pause

by Terah Drake, posted in Uncategorized

“The pauses between the notes – ah, that is where the art resides.” – Arthur Schnabel; classical pianist, composer and pedagogue

Do you ever have days where it feels like the Universe is sending you the same message, over and over, in different ways?  

Today has been one such day for me, and the message is one of my hardest lessons – the message of pause, rest, and surrender.  

This seems like such a simple and relatively innocuous word, doesn’t it?  

Truly “letting go” of the things I cannot control has been a lifelong work; likely both a result of childhood wounds and connected to my ADHD – driven lack of patience.  

I have spent my entire adulthood practicing and teaching yoga, studying the intersection of neuroscience and spirituality, and having a private practice as a healer, helping clients through resetting impaired nervous system response, rewriting outdated neural programming through a hypnotherapy and other modalities from IFS therapy to understanding our attachment styles, and somatic release from Thai-massage based bodywork. 

I know and teach all of these different modalities, yet in the largest issues in my life, I still have times when I struggle to just let go; to allow myself to rest, and appreciate the beauty in the pause between movements. 

Letting go feels like a struggle.  

The feeling of “fighting against the current” when I try to control things is exactly what is causing the resistance.  The sense of life fighting me. 

Ironically, this isn’t the Universe resisting my efforts, but rather, my own mind causing the feeling of struggle. 

Here’s what happens in the brain and body when we are in a place of trying to control vs. surrender:

👉The stress of trying to figure things out, carry the burden of emotional weight, hold too tightly to people, events or circumstances in our life causes the activation of the sympathetic nervous system – our “fight or flight” response to danger or stress.  

👉This activation floods the system with hormones such as cortisol, adrenaline, and norepinephrine, increasing heartrate, alertness, and spatial awareness, while decreasing digestion, calm, and critical thinking.  

The problem is, mammals are only intended to have 90-second bursts of these hormones before reverting to the parasympathetic “rest and digest” aspect of our nervous system.   

👉When we are in chronic stress overload, the pre-frontal cortex; responsible for problem solving and analytic thinking, goes offline, and the amygdala – the part of the brain that triggers our “fight, fawn or flight” – takes over, disabling our ability to figure things out and essentially regressing us to primitive, less-than-mature and spiritually/emotionally aligned behavior. 

If we have past trauma, especially from childhood, when our neurocircuitry was most established, our body/brain default is likely to interpret stressful situations as direct threats, compounding the sympathetic nervous system reaction. 

But here’s an incredibly important truth: 

In times of stress, the one thing that we do have control of is how we choose to respond to those things that we can not control.  We can allow our primitive mind and subconscious, childhood-based patterns to control  our behavior:

👉Retreat from the world 

👉Throw an epic, Karen/Chad worthy tantrum,

👉Fall into “victimhood” behavior

– Or, conversely, we can: 

✌️Become mindful of our internal and external states.

✌️Take a beat to acknowledge what’s happening in the moment.

✌️Take steps to reset our nervous system 

✌️Shift our mental/emotional/nervous system state from resistance to acceptance.

One of my favorite metaphors for this subconscious/sympathetic nervous system response vs. calm, intentional direction is of an elephant and rider.  

If a person jumps onto the back of an elephant without knowing how to direct it, the elephant will rampage out of control, taking the rider along with it.  This is just like the subconscious mind when we are in a state of long-term sympathetic arousal.   

But if we can catch ourselves when we are in a downward spiral of nervous system response and redirect our awareness and focus, we become the trained rider who flows along sedately through the jungle on the back of our “elephant”, being supported by our subconscious without being controlled by it.  

The more we practice this, the neural pathways to regulated response are reinforced, and acceptance shifts from conscious effort to default response.  Calm, intentional acceptance becomes baseline.  

This is true empowerment – being in command of our thoughts, actions, and emotions, even when we are in moments or even seasons of our life where we may feel unable to control all of our external circumstances.  

What is especially cool about this is that when we are in a state of parasympathetic nervous system regulation, our prefrontal cortex comes back online, working with the Reticular Activating System/Reality filter to give us greater access to solutions to those issues we were struggling with.  

If you, like me, experience challenge with the idea of surrender and acceptance and feel yourself in anxiety or panic when life takes unexpected turns or seems to be slinging lemons your direction at high velocity, here are a few exercises that can help you to downregulate the nervous system to get you back into a state of calm to remember that those lemons make delicious lemonade.  

Downregulating the nervous system – reset from fight/flight to rest/digest

  1. Take a breath. Breathwork, particularly diaphragmatic, resets the nervous system quickly.  Breathe in for four, out for six, then in for six, hold for six, out for eight.  Alternately, take a deep breath through the nose, followed by a quick breath to completely fill the lungs and diaphragm, hold for a moment then release the breath completely.  Repeat x 3.  
  1. Havening/Self-comforting – this method creates soothing delta brain waves and deactivates the amygdala.  Cross the arms in a hugging gesture.  Gently stroke from the shoulders down to elbows or wrists.  You can use this technique on the face, upper thighs, or palms, as well.  
  1. Conscious relaxation – we hold so much of our stress in the body.  When we can consciously direct the body to release whatever tension we may be holding, particularly in conjunction with the breath, we downregulate the nervous system and release somatically held energy, too. 
  1. Pivot thought/action – A thought, action, happy memory, or mantra that disrupts negative thought loops (rumination) and takes you back to the way that you want to feel rather than the stress that you are experiencing in the moment. For example – the memory of a favorite travel experience, celebration or event with a loved one, an affirmation you can repeat as a mantra – “I am safe, held, and happy” or even just counting backwards from twenty or humming a happy tune.    If you can, play upbeat music, dance, go for a walk/run.  Change your environment to stop those neural loops.   
  1. Mindfulness – Becoming the observer of Self helps to remove the ego/identity from a stressful situation.  Mindfulness has been shown to be incredibly effective in stopping the stress response loop.  Take a moment to become deeply aware of the body wherever it is in space.  You can also try a “mudra”- bringing the fingers together to touch at the thumb/forefinger(index) or thumb/forefinger/middle finger.  This not only anchors us in the body but also closes our energetic circuitry, according to metaphysical theory.  Watch the breath as it flows in and out of the body. 
  1. Scent – Inhaling the aromas of essential oils or burning incense or herbs such as sage, palo santo, lavender, clove, frankincense, rosemary and sandalwood (as well as many other scents) creates a “pattern interrupt” for spiraling thoughts, bypasses the thalamus (logical switchboard) to regulate the limbic/ parasympathetic nervous system, and stimulates the release of feel-good neurotransmitters such as serotonin and dopamine.  Over time, using specific scents can create a “neural bridge” that the brain associates with safety and relaxation.  As an added bonus, watching the rising smoke from incense encourages deeper breathing, also triggering downregulation of the nervous system. 

If things are feeling a little out of control in your life at the moment, I hope learning a few of these tips and techniques will help you to let go of the things that are beyond your control, and get you back to a place of conscious creation and flow. 💫

Big love.💖

  • Terah 

The Power of Connection

by Terah Drake, posted in Uncategorized

We live in a world that feels a little insane right now. 😬

 We spend hours each day distracted by the internet, the political agenda, anxiety over the ever-increasing levels of inflation, and our rage at seeing the country fall apart as bad men hold power with zero accountability.  

It leaves all of us disempowered, a lot less grounded and a little less sane as our “logical mind” is constantly being highjacked by an overwrought amygdala. (Primitive, fear-based part of the brain) 

But what if it didn’t have to be this way?  

Here’s something to consider:  

What if the fastest and surest way to find our own version of sanity and happiness is to find others who share our own, quirky, unique way of seeing and creating happiness?  

🫣What if much of the division we are seeing here in the states is a very intentional agenda to distract, enrage, and disconnect us – from our ability to make sound and logical choices, from our creativity, from our higher self and most of all, from each other? 

🤝Humans need connection.  We have lived in small communities and tightly knit familial homes for thousands of years.  

This was for necessity and protection, of course, but also, because something our forefathers and mothers knew instinctively was that we thrive best when we are in healthy community.  

This is not just a physical phenomenon, but molecular in the unconscious information we share with those around us.  

Beyond that, living in aligned community with others is energetically empowering – when we live in a state of care and shared value, there is an agreement that is struck – let’s  call it an “atomic contract” – that our shared experience and intent becomes a potent force in the universe that 💯 can alter the framework of our reality.  

This mutual, unspoken agreement is a contract struck and held within the fabric of reality that a new, combined way of seeing reality and happiness becomes a shared venture. 

I know this all probably feels a little deep and maybe a bit “woo woo”, but remember that everything, at its foundation, is energy; ✨💫molecules vibrating at different frequencies that put information into the world of what we see as “concrete reality”; literally creating this video-game world, moment by moment.  

 Stick with me here and I will elaborate:

👉Through a shared desire to create a certain type of reality, the power to do exactly that is increased exponentially.  Your will, combining with the will of another, or others, creates a joint manifestation that can literally put into play a whole new level of existence. 

Think of how wonderful we feel when we meet another soul, whether that is a good friend or lover. 💕This feeling  is combined energy that converts our own vibration into something higher as a result of a beautiful alignment between two humans of mindset and heart resonance.  

Tiny home communities are another great example of how combined collaboration can create something greater,, as are co-ops, communes, etc.

We have been taught by religion, political powers, and societal norms(created by those in power) that we have to be “good“ in order to achieve heaven in the next realm of existence, but I don’t personally feel that the way and power from which we shape our reality has any bearing on the human concepts of “right” and “wrong”.

Look at the success Trump has had, for example.

He has a whole family who may not like each other, and all seem to be vile in their own way, but all share the common goal of acquiring great wealth and do that very, very well, though largely by nefarious means.  

(Side note:  I do believe that there is a universal shared agreement or contract that boils down to “do unto others” that we all know, inherently, and should follow.  I also believe strongly in the concept of self-judgement and a possible self-inflicted mental “punishment” – creating “heaven” or  “hell” for ourselves in the last moments before complete brain death.  We know that time is a construct, but especially inside the mind. This heaven or hell could feel like an eternity, though it’s only a few seconds, before our soul rejoins the cosmic force that we call God.  …Working on a story based on this concept rn…🔥😉)

But… back to the main point.  

Royal families breeding close is another example of the power held in intentional co-creation.  Thousands of years of intermarriage keeps that power condensed and DNA lines pure. 

In Marriage vows, we are literally proclaiming in front of a group of people and to the law itself our mutual agreement of will-shaping to the Universe; as a signed and witnessed contract, giving even more energy/power to this newly shared existence. 

(Side note 2 – I do believe that we need to completely reframe and rewrite those traditional vows to reflect the new reality that we are living in -i.e. Greater equality between the sexes, greater financial freedom, a better understanding of healthy relationships and how we can choose – or not-  to be emotionally, physically and energetically healthy within the parameters of our relationships. But I’ll elaborate on that another day)

There are dozens or more examples of how connection empowers us – corporations, podcasts, etc., etc., but you probably get my point, and the purpose for this particular blog.  

We The People need to stop succumbing to the b.s.and division the System is trying to get us to conform to, connecting or reconnecting with others of shared vision and value, and start being intentional about the world we want to see created, together.  

This is how we will find our strength.💪  This is how we empower not only ourselves, but our loved ones and those around us.  We stand together, aligned and empowered, creating a reality where we all have abundance, wealth, and the freedom to live our lives in happiness.  

Big Love.💖