Tag: #wholeness

Unresolved Trauma and Healing Ourselves and our Relationships.❤️‍🩹

by Terah Drake, posted in Uncategorized

Confession time.

You might want to grab a cuppa and a comfy chair for this one because I’m going to go a little deep. 

Full disclaimer – if you have been in the abuse cycle in your own life and relationships, this post could be a little triggering. But understanding our cycles and recognizing familiar patterns in others is power and allows us to move into a healthier space both in our relationships and in our own minds and bodies.

To quote Aristotle, “Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.”

For anyone who has read my work or knows me as a human, you know that a huge part of my purpose here on this planet is to uplift, educate and enlighten, especially when it comes to understanding the science (and spirit) of how we each create our realities – and that it all starts with our thoughts.  I hate the term “Coach” and I am no one’s guru, but I have had a fundamental understanding of the mind’s ability to alter our lives since I was a child and have been studying it for most of my adult life.  

I am full-on geeked out, slightly-obsessed, so-excited – can’t-keep-still-have-to-share passionate about it.  I literally read about, listen to a podcast or take a class in some aspect of the subject nearly every single day.  For years.  It really is so freaking cool and lights me up like nothing else.  Well, not much else. 😏

The human mind is an incredibly complex system of organic programs that are largely formed in our early childhood.  This can be wonderful if we had a healthy, loving childhood but can really f#ck us up into adulthood and sometimes for the rest of our lives if our parents did not have the tools to give us a healthy beginning to life.  

We can overlay this circuitry even as adults (neuroplasticity) which is also super cool, but only if we are aware of those programs running our lives in the first place.  These subsets run every aspect of our lives from what information we take in (Reticular Activating System) to our happiness baseline and the amount of Dopamine, Serotonin, Oxytocin and Endorphins (happy brain chemicals) available to us – and conversely, the degree of adrenaline and cortisol (stress hormones) that are chronically cycling through our system, causing not only higher degrees of perceived stress but also inflammation and ultimately, disease.  (dis-ease) 

The problem is, most of us aren’t aware of these programs controlling our subconscious mind and affecting our everyday lives.  The way we perceive and navigate the world is just our “personality” (personal-reality) and we rarely go beyond that unless we have some sort of a come-to-God, radical wake-up call such as the passing of a close loved one or a NDE, ourselves.  

This largely-ignored circuitry also creates our attachment styles and the way that we approach relationships.  This is where my confession comes in.  

In spite of years of study of neurobiology, the mind-body connection, quantum physics and how it applies to our ability to create our personal reality – and a healthy dose of psychology, because I believe healing past trauma is the doorway to everything else – I have had a major blindspot or achilles heel in my personal life as a result of the relational patterning of a deeply abusive childhood – my personal relationships. If you can relate, you probably understand this perfectly. We tend to repeat the emotional patterns we learned as children.

For me, since I was a “pleaser/enabler” with abandonment issues and a healthy dose of “Fixer” syndrome, I was both avoidant and anxious in most of my closest relationships.  

As a result, I’ve experienced what you might call a smorgasbord of abusive personality types from my very first “real” intimate relationship; a physically beautiful, wealthy specimen of man that I met when I was barely 19 years old and living on the East Coast. The chemistry was instant and I thought I was in love. I was certainly starstruck. He swept me off my feet in every way possible. Including, after I had moved in with him, knocking me to the floor when he punched me in the face. I had grown up in a family of martial artists. I had begun “playing” karte with my dad, who is my Shihan (master) when I was quite young and studied under other teachers as a teen. Yet I could never fight back – because my circuitry says that I don’t hurt those that I love. I just allow it. I had been physically abused as a child, so there was a degree of “acceptance”as a result.

I eventually left him, fleeing (for my life) back to the Pacific Northwest where I avoided relationships for many years. I was not going to repeat that experience, ever. (Incidentally, I went on to earn six black belts, become a “Shihan”, myself, and have owned and operated a number of dojos since. I’ve also taught battered women’s groups and held many women’s self-defense classes; partially because I love it and it’s a family thing and partially as an aspect of my healing process from that experience).

I think it’s important to pause here to say that just as I was drawn to different forms of abusive relationships because of my lack of awareness of my own unhealed and dysfunctional relational patterns, I believe that those we become involved with are in exactly the same space, but usually from the opposite end of the spectrum.  

The man I was involved with on the East Coast committed suicide a couple of years after I left him.  I believe he hated himself for the damage he caused, but did not understand his neurological patterning to change the circuitry that created cycles of abuse.  

When we think about suicide, it is not the Self that we want to see die.  It is those parts of our personality/egoic constructs that are no longer serving our growth that need to go.  Recognizing this can be the difference between living a long and nappy life – or not.  

Which is exactly why I write this now. It is not easy to be deeply open and vulnerable to an audience, but how else will we ever change as a society to create better if we don’t start a dialogue about acknowledging and altering our own patterns?

This goes for our parents or caregivers, as well. I think most of the time, people are doing the best that they can to parent with the knowledge they have inherited, themselves. We can not hold ourselves as a victim and our parents or caregivers as the perpetrator into adulthood because that just keeps us stuck. We have to forgive, move forward and take accountability for changing our patterns.

That said, le’ts go back to my own “blind spots”.

I kept my word to myself, because we humans are learning creatures. I never allowed myself to be physically abused again. But because I had not healed all of my trauma and was still “stuck” in old programs, I found other ways to repeat the unhealthy relational patterning from childhood. Both my biological mother and the stepmother my father married when I was young were narcissistic personalities. I only received affection when I was “doing” or being good – behaving in whatever manner they needed on any given day, which was an ever-changing and complex thing. So I repeated that cycle with my next relationship. And the next.

I learned from these experiences and each relationship I tried was “better” (which is to say the unhealthy or toxic patterns became less obvious). But even now, though I seek only partners who are able to show affection and love deeply, I find myself drawn to “conflict avoidant” personality types who tend to mirror still-unresolved issues from my early life. We draw to us those people and experiences that best help us to learn and grow, even if those people and experiences don’t always feel great until we learn to recognize the pattern or growth opportunity.

But those “aha” moments where we see ourselves and gain self knowledge are powerful catalysts, so though it is not always easy and sometimes downright hard,  I continue to go into those dark closets of my subconscious mind to face my demons, unlock and alter those programs and circuits that keep me from living the fullest and most whole expression of who I am.

I keep seeking wisdom and understanding of myself and the world to continue to grow.

Beautiful friend, whoever you are and wherever you are, I hope you will, too. Because through awareness, self-knowledge, compassion and most of all, love, we will not only become more personally and relationally happy, but will build a healthier, stronger and longer-lasting brain and body, and gain an amazing sense of freedom and self-mastery.

And while we are at it, we just might change the world, too. 🥰

I’d say that is well worth the discomfort of acknowledging and vanquishing – or perhaps just coming to an agreement with – the skeletons in our closet and the monsters under the bed that we may have ignored out of survival or fear.  

What patterns have you been ignoring that you would like to see changed? 

So much love and huge hugs.💖💖💖

  • Terah 

Keep Going

by Terah Drake, posted in Uncategorized

My love.  

I wish I could tell you that every day will be easy.  

Fun.  Magical.  

I wish each day would feel like warm sand in your toes;

The endless blue ocean stretched before you;

A cool drink in your hand and someone you love close by.

But as we all know, 

That isn’t the case.  

Life brings Contrast.  

Challenge.  Loneliness.  

Moments of grief.

Days that will feel nearly impossible. 

Times when you will wonder if living 

Is worth the effort.

I know.  I have been there.  

I have known nearly every despair

I have loved deeply 

And lost deeply

I have wept oceans of sorrow.

But even in the moments of grief

Of uncertainty

Of aloneness

I know that to keep going

Is absolutely F#cking worth it.

Because those moments are just that.  

Moments.  

Even when they stretch to hours, days,

Or weeks.

Even when there are months of your life 

That may feel like “WTF, God?”

They pass. 

If you can just keep going; 

Keep moving forward, 

One slow step at a time,

Those days will pass.

The dark nights become 

A glorious dawn

Illumined by the beauty 

Of a sun so bright 

The heart sings 

And weeps at the same time. 

Life becomes beautiful again.

We find joy again.

We fall in Love.  

Sometimes with another soul.  

Sometimes with ourselves.

Sometimes with Nature, 

With God, 

With All That Is.

We learn to surf.

We learn to paint, 

To sing, 

To garden,

To travel,

Or a thousand other 

new skills that

Crack us open

To Possibility. To Expansion. To Wonder. 

We find ourselves dancing at a street festival,

Surrounded by friends 

And neighbors.

Or eating Ice-cream 

On a wharf

In the summer sun

With a beloved.

We experience the miracle 

Of childbirth

The magic of holding

And welcoming into the world

A new life.

We become parents

And sometimes Grandparents.

We learn the joy 

Of “spoiling” a grandchild. 

We connect
Or re-connect 

with loved ones.

We find our communities.

We find ourselves. 

We grow.  We expand.  We evolve.

And in between all of these beautiful miracles

That we call “life”,

We continue to experience Contrast.  

But we know

That even in those

Dark nights of the Soul

Those times of Disconnection 

From Source and All That Is,

Dawn is coming.

And it is amazing.

So please, Dear one;

Hold On.

Keep Going.

Don’t stop

In this moment

Because it is hard.

It will get better. Easier.  More fun.  Magical, even.

I promise.

Much Love, today and always. 💖

  • Terah 🌈

Self-love and Enlightenment

by Terah Drake, posted in Uncategorized

“The pinnacle of self-love is not ecstasy, it is the heartbreaking process of undoing the life that our unloved self built when we didn’t know better. “

Becoming who we really are begins with learning to love every aspect of our lives – but most importantly, it is learning to love ourselves.

  It is an unbecoming of who we were when we didn’t know how to love ourselves.  

It is chaos before order; a difficult and messy unspooling of the heavily bound threads of dysfunction and neglect that we have wound around ourselves, all too often in a cocoon several sizes too small to contain our vast spirit.  

But unwind we must before we can step into the fullness of our purpose and truest self; before we can learn to spread our wings and soar. 

Before self-love becomes freedom, it must first be a burden that we carry with minds and hearts just beginning to open to new possibilities.  

We must carry the weight of the anger that we feel towards others for not being treated with the care, love, and respect that we should have asked for all along.  We must carry the weight of anger towards ourselves for what we allowed, often not realizing that there was ever a choice. 

Then there is the anger for not asking to have our needs met; for not insisting that we were worthy of care and respect. 

For those of us who experienced childhood trauma, this unraveling of emotions is an especially perilous journey, for dragons often lurk in those murky places of our subconscious minds that we fear to tread.  But the journey is a worthy one and the reward of integration with those lost parts of ourselves can not be understated.  

 When we have processed the anger, then comes the heavy grief of time lost – sometimes many years’ worth. 

Eventually, we feel lighter.  We learn to set boundaries and say “No” to those things that are not right for us.  We become deepy accountable to our own self-care and growth; a process that is not an easy one.

At some point, we begin to recognize the truth of the saying that we become the amalgamation of those that we spend the most time with.  

And so begins the painful necessity of cutting away or holding at at careful distance those people and things that have hurt us in the past, or don’t currently serve our highest good.  

Sometimes those closest to us decide to grow with us, even if their pace does not match our own.  Sometimes they don’t, and we must make the  difficult decision to allow them to continue their journey on their own, in their own way.  

In the beginning, this can create isolation.  Loneliness.  But as we remove those things in our lives that were creating darkness, light can begin to enter those empty spaces.  

Our tribe begins to find us.  

We fall in love with not only ourselves, our lives and those souls around us, but we draw in and create close friendships and partnerships that are fulfilling rather than stagnant.  We develop relationships that lift us and allow us to better lift others, in turn. 

We begin to create, or rather, to consciously collaborate with the Field to become the architect of our lives, shaping the fabric of our reality with intention.  We learn to see the infinite possibilities within and before us.  

We find our wings, and begin to soar.  

Today and all days, I hope you are on the path to find your wings, beloved.  You deserve every joy you can imagine, and I know you can create the life you wish for.  

Much love and huge hugs.💖

– Terah

Neuropeptides and Emotional Regulation

by Terah Drake, posted in Uncategorized

Do you often find yourself feeling unhappy, anxious, stressed out, or angry?  

Periods of stress in our lives are part of the human experience, and can be a tremendous catalyst for growth and personal evolution.  Life is a gorgeous, complicated, challenging, and joyful adventure – and the contrast we experience is necessary to add depth and meaning – wholeness – to the story of our lives. 

But we aren’t meant to stay in that place of unhappiness for long periods. When our periods of upheaval become chronic, the constant release of cortisol and adrenaline, necessary in primitive times for short fight-or-flight responses, become a mood disorder that if left unresolved, can really f#ck up the brain and body. This “stuck” cycle can not only cause depression, memory loss, weight gain/loss and sleep issues, but also inflammation that can lead to a host of other issues and illnesses from diabetes, cancer and more.

The good news is that just because we have moments of stress doesn’t mean that we have to stay in the stress response indefinitely.  We can return to a place of greater emotional ease in less than two minutes, if we can understand what is happening in our nervous system.  

Most important is to realize that the brain’s stress response only takes 90 seconds to move through the body.

When we encounter things in our life that make us feel triggered – anxious, frustrated, angry, fearful, or sad, (insert your own favorite dysregulation response here_______🙄…) it can be easy to stay in that feeling state for much longer.  This is because we keep the stress response loop repeating itself instead of redirecting the brain’s focus to something happier.

But there are many ways to #flipyourhappyswitch when difficult or challenging circumstances in our lives may lower our #baselinehappy. 

We can bypass hours or even days’ worth of unhappiness with a few simple neurobiology “hacks” that redirect the brain’s wiring.  Consistent practice of these techniques will, over time, create a healthier stress response, too; which is pretty freaking awesome – the sooner we can get back to a feeling of joy in our lives, the sooner we can get back to being the amazing creators of reality that we are supposed to be.

Taking some deep nasal belly breaths stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system and “tricks“ the mind into thinking that we are all good – or at least not in a heightened state of trauma response or fight or flight.  This is where I always begin when I am personally feeling dysregulated. 

There are a number of other techniques to re-direct the mind back to a state of ease – changing up our environment, listening to music that makes us feel good, going outside to “ground” with a walk, ride, run or swim. (the benefits of being outside are multiplied when we put our bodies in direct contact with the earth.  

I love barefoot trailrunning, but 5 minutes of sitting on the grass can have a profound effect on the body and mind.  Splashing cold water on the face, finding an activity or interest that is creative,  are all wonderful ways to reset the brain, release endorphins and run interference on that stress loop and get us back to a more peaceful or joyous state.

If you are in a place where none of these practices are possible, try this easy, four-step system to bypass the loop of trauma/stress response:

  1. Acknowledge what you are feeling. What is the root emotion causing your feeling of dysregulation? Take a moment to honor that feeling.
  2. Focus on facts – find one or two true things about you. “My name is_____ and I live in _____city/country/state. My parent/sibling/friend/pet is______.
  3. Find something physical – The sun feels amazing on my face. The fabric of my shirt is soft. The bakery in the store smells like cookies and fresh bread. I like to spritz a little of my favorite men’s cologne on a scarf or shirt collar so that I can bring my focus to the scent when I am in a crowd or large “big box” kind of store where I know I can become energetically overwhelmed.
  4. Look for one beautiful thing/Gratitude – feeling grateful triggers release of dopamine, the reward/feel-good hormone. Find one thing in your environment that you can feel truly grateful for – the color of the sky is a particularly pleasing shade of blue right now. The little girl in line front of me has the most amazing big brown eyes. This coffee is delicious. Better yet, find someone to smile at or have a conversation with. (Not a creepy smile, please….) Not only will focusing on someone else re-direct the brain’s stress response, but kindness releases all of the feel – good neurochemicals.Win-win situation, right?😄

I have been putting many of these techniques into practice for years, and I can tell you that they work, but I’ll add to this a list of the most common neurochemicals/hormones and how they affect the mind and body, along with a few more tricks and techniques to get you back to your happy place. 

Happy Brain Chemicals – DOSE

Dopamine – Reward/Hormone. “Pleasure Chemical”. Helps with focus, memory, motivation.

* gratitude. Complete a task or project. Improve sleep habits. Exercise. Do yoga/meditate. Go outside. Have sex – specifically, sex or self-stimulation that triggers orgasm. The greater the dopamine release, the more powerful the orgasm.👀. (Disclaimer – there is such a thing as “too much” when it comes to orgasm. Particularly using a stimulus such as porn, as it can create a tolerance which causes dopamine levels to drop.)

Oxytocin – The “Love Hormone”. Supports mental well being.

* Give a hug! Even self hug or massage will release oxytocin.  Kiss.  Warmth – sit in front of a fireplace.  Drink something warm.  Find a sunny spot. Send a loving text or letter. Snuggle with a pet.  Watch cute kitten videos. 

Serotonin – Feel-good hormone.

* Kindness.  Laughter yoga. Massage. Sunlight – 10 minutes of direct to eyes.  Remember happy memories heart rate

Endorphins – Responsible for pain relief, stress management, feelings of euphoria. Released by central nervous system and pituitary gland.

* Exercise/movement.  More sex. Dance. Acupuncture.  Eat something delicious and nourishing -Dark chocolate specifically triggers the endorphin response in the body. Scent – smell something pleasing.  (Essential oils, fresh-baked cookies, cinnamon, someone you love)

_________________

If you are someone going through a challenging or difficult time, I see you.❤️

I hope this information might help.

If you are in a place where just don’t want to get off of the couch/bed/carpet, I’ve been there, too. It’s ok to give yourself some space to not be ok, to have grace for yourself to be in the experience of those hard emotions – for a little while. But don’t get stuck in that place. Remember that mood follows action.

This means that sometimes, we just have to pick ourselves up by our bootstraps, put on our “big girl/boy pants” and take action. Breathe, meditate, dance, listen to music, hug a loved one or pet, go for a walk, have good sex (even if it’s by yourself) – whatever it is that works best for you to get into a better place. This is self-care.

Wherever you are today, please remember that you are loved. You are a beautiful, magnificent Be-ing; worthy of every good you can imagine.

Much love and extra big hugs.💖

  • Terah

Connecting to our inner child to find authenticity and joy

by Terah Drake, posted in Uncategorized

Our imagination is a wonderful tool for accessing our intuitive wisdom and those deeper parts of ourselves that know the path when our minds or “logic brains” can’t reason something out. I frequently will have visions or mental movies when I am in a state of relaxation that help guide many of the decisions of my life.

Last night while lying in bed, trying to bring my mind into a state of quiet and calm from the sadness and dysregulation I had been feeling, I had a short “mental movie” that helped bring clarity to my feelings as a result of a circumstance in my life that encompasses some incredible depth of feeling from joy to intense pain.

In the vision, I was a young child, maybe four or five years old; standing on a small wooden box or step in front of a tall friend of mine, who was, in the vision, eight years old or so. I was holding a daisy in front of me as an offering to my friend. My expression was quite solemn.

We stood there for a moment, just looking at each other, then my friend kissed my nose and gave me a n encompassing hug.  The scene changed and we became adults.

The element of being a child in this vision is obviously the connection to my innocent self. That little girl is offering a gift of vulnerability to somebody she loves, unsure of whether or not they will accept it and return that love offering.

The Daisy is a symbol of purity and innocence, but interestingly, in Norse mythology it also represents love and new beginnings.  

I woke this morning to open to this passage from the “Sacred Path” book.  The book is meant to be an accompaniment to a deck of guidance cards, but I usually just use the book itself for its native-American sourced wealth of wisdom.  

Today’s lesson echoed the vision that I had last night, speaking of the idea of our inner child being the best guide to losing the illusions of those ego-based parts of ourselves that do not allow us to be vulnerable, playful, authentic, and joyful.

When we can tap into those younger parts of ourselves to remember the sacredness, the joy, the play, and the magic of life, we remember who we really are.  

And that is a beautiful thing.💕✨

Much love and big hugs, today and always.

– Terah

Staying connected through life’s storms

by Terah Drake, posted in Uncategorized

Hello, Beautiful.

Are you a lucid dreamer?  Do you find yourself thinking about your dreams during the day?

When we dream, we are every aspect of the dream.  We are the Observer and the Participants.  We are the people in the dream; from the little girl in the candy shop to the old man playing the oboe.  We are the little white terrier who is biting ankles or sitting obediently.  We are every blade of grass, ray of sunshine, shimmering leaf.  

Alot like this, I like to think of people as trees;  from the root system/foundation – our younger years – to the tiptop and outermost branches; our older selves.  But we are also the creatures that call the tree home, as well the caretakers that promote the tree’s optimal growth and beauty.  

There can be days, weeks, and even years when it feels like we are just growing slowly;  waving gently in the breeze while birds and squirrels cavort in the branches.  It occasionally rains or gentle winds cause leaves to drop to the base to become compost, fertilizing the roots and creating more growth.  Just as it should be. 

But sometimes, life brings heavy storms.   The passing of a loved one, divorce, losing friends, or members of our tribe, financial crisis, natural disasters, and moving can all be examples of these storms.  These times inevitably suck major testes, but thi is where things can get also really interesting in a wonderful, awful sort of way.  

Those hurricane-force winds begin shaking not only our branches but the trunk itself, causing what may feel like our entire network of leaves and small branches to fall to the base of our tree. 

This upheaval can begin to clog our roots.  If we have unresolved childhood trauma, the emotional, energetic and psychic blocks that this can cause will compound the problem.

These upheavals can be such a frightening experience.  As a result, all too often, we take on the persona of the birds and squirrels, retreating to the topmost branches or hovering above where it may feel safer but creates even more emotional distance from our root system.  

When we spend too much time in  this place, we may become so disconnected from our foundation that our root system begins to suffocate and rot. If we allow this to continue, we succumb to emotional and physical illness, aging before our time, and a host of other ailments that ultimately, keep us from living our best  possible lives.

But if we remain present through the process – and connected to our inner caretaker –  he will wade into the compost and get to work freeing up the root system to create space; aeration of that heavy load of decaying matter, allowing it to become a kickass fertilizer that supercharges our health and growth, allowing us to become the fullest, most beautiful expression of who we are meant to be.  

But let’s be frank. Who really wants to wade into a swamp of fertilizer? It stinks. It’s thick and sludgy and difficult. 💩

Self-growth is damned  hard, sometimes. Oftentimes. Most times.😬

For me, when those inevitable “storms” come, as they have, hard and fast,  in the past couple of years, “doing the work“ often looks like hours of insomnia in the middle of the night, where my mind insists that I process through much of that fertilizer, both past and present.  It sucks.

 Of course, I have the choice of drinking myself into a stupor, taking a sleeping pill to avoid the 3 AM wake up call or just telling my caretaker to get lost (or f#ck off). 

 It often feels like it would be much easier to take on the Persona of the squirrels and birds, looking down at the narsty mire clogging my roots with a “hellllll naw” attitude. 😳

But here’s where the wonderful part comes in. 

When I make the commitment to face the fears, insecurities, anxieties, and past trauma, I experience revelation that allows me to free up some of the space closest to my foundation, enabling not only better growth, but also a feeling of lightness and freedom that wasn’t there when I went to bed.  I also often get the opportunity to meet lost aspects of myself that I didn’t even know existed, creating greater integration into the fullness of who I am.  (if you are interested in learning more about this, check out IFS therapy. It’s powerful stuff.)

I may have gone to bed feeling bound and heavy, but by the time I have gotten up, had a cup of coffee, and done a little more processing of my nocturnal “work”, it feels like my branches are widespread, open, and shimmering gloriously in the morning light. 

I would like you to also experience this revelation in the times when life feels difficult. You are a beautiful, amazing being of light and deserve to feel happy as often as possible, even when life hits you with challenging storms.  

It may not be easy.  But babe, you are worth the effort. 

Much love.💖

– Terah

Individual components of a larger whole

by Terah Drake, posted in Uncategorized

https://futurism.com/astrobiologists-earth-intelligent-entity

This article in Futurism is an Interesting read and makes a lot of sense to me.

Does anyone remember those old educational cartoons – “Schoolhouse Rock” that taught about the human body, mathematics, American Politics and much more more? 🤔

I specifically recall one of the episodes on the body – “red cells carry oxygen, white cells fight off germs”.  Watching these cartoons very possibly started my interest in the human body and physics.  Probably also part of the reason I have thought of humans as individual cells in a much larger macrocosm for a long time.  

I’d imagine that something like say, a red blood cell doesn’t have a strong sense of awareness of anything outside of itself, right?  

It is an individual cell, doing exactly the job that it was created for. But that one individual cell is really a part of a huge macrocosm and wouldn’t survive very long without the rest of the system. And certainly wouldn’t be very productive in supplying oxygen and nutrients if it was on it’s own, right?🩸

I think that humans have a tendency to be similar in this.  We have difficulty in viewing ourselves as anything but individual entities and often act from this narrow perspective, sometimes causing pain to those around us or the world at large as we only think about what is best for our own survival or self-interest.

But what if we broadened our perspective as a collective? What if we could view ourselves as small, individual components of a much larger creation; individual drops of water that make up an ocean or, like a Seurat pointillism painting, individual dots of color that when seen together make up a breathtaking piece of art? What if we stopped the “me against you” mindset that seems to be so rampant today and instead considered everything from the viewpoint of the greatest good for all involved?

What if we put our incredible collective intelligence to good use to find sources of energy, sustenance and information that supported each other and our planet rather than enslaving others while stripping the earth of its resources and reserves?

I know that this topic may feel a little deep or intense for a Saturday morning, but if not now, when?

How long can we keep up the hostility and animosity that so many hold towards our neighbors, communities, leaders, and planet – before we well and truly go into self-destruct mode – or our earth decides that we are an invasive species that she is damned tired of supporting?

An interesting fact to consider is the fact that the “Doomsday Clock” just hit 90 seconds to midnight. This means we are closer than ever to world destruction.

Just sayin’…😒

Here is what I would put forth as an idea for today: that we create a personal and societal mantra along the lines of:

Or perhaps – “I am an individual human in a much, much larger body of humans and other species. How can I work as an individual, but also with other humans, to create greater unity, greater cohesion, greater entrainment – to achieve the healthiest, happiest self and ecosystem/biosphere/body possible?” 🌏.

Feels good, doesn’t it?🌈✨🌞

Incidentally, for those parents that are looking to provide a little more educational content than “SpongeBob”, The Magic Schoolbus had one episode where Miss F. took the kids through a human body, and there was a really wonderful series of French cartoons “Once Upon A Time – Life” from the 80’s that covered pretty much every aspect of humans in 26 episodes.  They can be found on YouTube, as well as the “Schoolhouse Rocks“ series. 😎

Much love and big hugs, friends. Happy weekend!💖

– Terah

In the Yuck

by Terah Drake, posted in Uncategorized

my brain and

heart divorced

a decade ago

over who was

to blame about

how big of a mess

I have become

eventually,

they couldn’t be 

in the same room

with each other 

now my head and heart 

share custody of me

I stay with my brain 

during the week

and my heart 

gets me on weekends

they never speak to one another

    – instead, they give me

the same note to pass

to each other every week 

and their notes they

send to one another always 

says the same thing:

“This is all your fault”

on Sundays

my heart complains

about how my 

head has let me down

in the past

and on Wednesday

my head lists all

of the times my 

heart has screwed

things up for me 

in the future

they blame each

other for the 

state of my life

there’s been a lot

of yelling – and crying

so,

    lately, I’ve been

spending a lot of 

time with my gut

who serves as my

unofficial therapist

most nights, I sneak out of the

window in my ribcage

and slide down my spine

and collapse on my 

gut’s plush leather chair

that’s always open for me

~ and I just sit sit sit sit

until the sun comes up

last evening, 

my gut asked me

if I was having a hard

time being caught 

between my heart

and my head

I nodded

I said I didn’t know

if I could live with 

either of them anymore

“my heart is always sad about

something that happened yesterday

while my head is always worried

about something that may happen tomorrow,” 

I lamented

my gut squeezed my hand

“I just can’t live with

my mistakes of the past

or my anxiety about the future,”

I sighed

my gut smiled and said:

“in that case, 

you should 

go stay with your 

lungs for a while,”

I was confused

  – the look on my face gave it away

“if you are exhausted about

your heart’s obsession with

the fixed past and your mind’s focus

on the uncertain future

your lungs are the perfect place for you

there is no yesterday in your lungs

there is no tomorrow there either

there is only now

there is only inhale

there is only exhale

there is only this moment

there is only breath

and in that breath

you can rest while your

heart and head work 

their relationship out.”

this morning,

while my brain

was busy reading

tea leaves

and while my

heart was staring

at old photographs 

I packed a little

bag and walked

to the door of 

my lungs

before I could even knock

she opened the door

with a smile and as

a gust of air embraced me

she said

“what took you so long?”

~ john roedel (johnroedel.com)

Today was a good day to practice being ok with not being ok.  To do some serious self-soothing. 

I have recently been overwhelmed with a hundred or so projects necessary to take care of in preparation to put my house on the market.  This is while trying to maintain a small sense of normalcy amidst divorce, the deaths of a loved one and beloved dog, natural disasters #greatflood) and a host of day to day stressors.  #worstyearever 

As a result, I think I’ve spent months skirting around my grief, falling into momentary frustration or sadness but then picking myself up by my bootstraps because it’s 💯 not ok for me to not be ok. 😣

I worry that spending too much time in negative emotions will lead to long-term neurological patterns, (it will) but it’s a balance, you know? Allowing yourself to really experience that deep-held grief is so hard, but it’s a necessary aspect of getting beyond the negative emotions to a healthier reality. 

This also goes back to inner child work – how would we treat our own or a beloved child who was sad or angry as a result of extreme trauma?   

Hopefully, we would be gentle with them, loving them as they processed through their grief and unhappiness.  We should treat our own inner child just the same.  

For me, it has felt like the last few days all of that stored emotion has been so close to the surface that I could barely breathe. I had lost the deep connection I’ve always had to my lungs. (Yoga instructor..🧘🏼‍♀️) and my mind was constantly throwing worst case scenarios at me as my heart vied for attention to deal with the myriad heartaches of the last year.  

I once had a therapist use the metaphor of pennies in a jar of water for stressors. The jar may be nearly full of water and not spill over, even with hundreds of pennies added. But at some point, there is one more penny that is added and the water begins to pour over the sides of the jar. From that point, every penny added contributes to the waterfall.

I think there must have been a penny or two added recently that were my waterfall coins. Anxiety about what’s next in a real estate market that is pretty crazy doesn’t help and I’ve found myself obsessing over Redfin and Realtor.com for hours, (where will we go?  How will we afford another home and property in this insane market?  What about interest rates??😬) and I’m so doing also avoiding the hundreds of
 projects that I should be doing instead.

Some days it be like that…😔

 So today I woke feeling incredibly heavy.  

I wanted to continue to avoid the yuck. It feels easier to throw myself into distraction. But like a boil that has abscessed, I couldn’t quite focus on any one task. I would experience moments of intense sadness or anger at what felt like silly things.

So I finally gave up trying to suppress those feelings and allowed myself to be fully in all the emotions.

I much prefer the feeling of residing in joy – the vast majority of the time – so this was a highly uncomfortable process for me. I spent a large portion of the day on the couch, giving myself space to just accept whatever came up.

Now here is what was wonderful about allowing these negative emotions to Be – at some point, I started to feel a little lighter.

Towards evening, my heart began to feel soothed. I reconnected with my lungs.  My brain stopped the whirlwind of “what ifs“.  

 I finally got up, made myself a meal and took my puppers ( #astrathewolfpup) for a walk. I let Apple choose my music and Spirit came through loud and clear in the song selections to let me know that Source has my back and I’m going to be ok. 🥰.  If I know one thing from my own history, it’s that ultimately, things always work out.  

If you are experiencing your own #darknightofthesoul, beautiful, I hope you choose to own those negative feelings. Sit in the yuck until your gorgeous inner child gets calm. Do some self-care and give yourself lots of ❤️ . It’s all part of the process of becoming whole, of becoming the most authentic version of yourself and ultimately, living your life as a dynamic creator and divine being.

You are loved.  You are capable.  You are worthy. And babe, in case you had forgotten, I love you.💖

Big hugs and lots of love.💕

– Terah

Starry-eyed Child

by Terah Drake, posted in Uncategorized

Practice any art, music, singing, dancing, acting, drawing, painting, sculpting, poetry, fiction, essays, reportage, no matter how well or badly, not to get money and fame, but to experience becoming, to find out what’s inside you, to make your soul grow. – Kurt Vonnegut

Mary, Mary, quite contrary

How does your garden grow?

With silver bells and cockleshells

And pretty maids all in a row

And pretty maids all in a row

What grows in your garden?

Do you have a rich inner life, well watered and fertilized with all of the things that make your inner child happy?

Your happy, fulfilled inner child is the key to experiencing joy no matter your current age. 

But for most of us, the better question might be: How often do you take a few moments to tune in to the precious, starry-eyed little boy or girl living inside of you?

It can be only too easy to lose track of those other parts of ourselves in the business and busy-ness of every day adult life.  

But even if you feel like your younger selves are lost to the deepest reaches of your inner being, I can promise you they are still there, waiting to be acknowledged. Waiting to come out and play.

Waiting to create a deeper sense of joy and presence in the everyday business and busyness of life.

Meeting that child (even if it’s for the first time) can be as easy as sitting quietly for a bit and asking that little one to come out and talk to you.  

Can you feel the sense of that younger you peeping around the curtains of the stage of your subconscious mind and deeper realms of the body?  If so, can you let them take center stage for a bit? 

What does she/he look like?  What are they wearing?  What would they like to do as they stand in the center of your mind-stage?  

Would they create a masterpiece from clay or paint?  Or maybe fingerpaint the walls?  Would they spend time in the woods or on the beach?  Would they dance?  What kind of dance? What colors make them happy?  

My inner child is especially fond of hip-hop, Latin dancing, singing, dancing and skipping on nature walks and spicy foods. She loves painting, animals, seeing new places and talking to random strangers.🤷‍♀️. She’s also goofy, temperamental and a little emotional.

Adult me isn’t quite so outgoing, leans towards logic and isn’t always comfortable with strong emotions. Adult me holds pain and past trauma a little closer to the heart.😣.

So allowing her to stay integrated also keeps those opposing parts of my personality balanced.  

A big part of this integration is finding time each week to tune in to how she’s doing, and find activities that will make her happy.  I also try to tune in to those younger aspects of myself when I’m making a major decision – our inner children tend to be closer to our intuition and that which connects us to Source/God/All That Is.  

Connecting to our intuition and Source also allows us to manifest our dreams and wishes and bring the desires of our hearts to us quicker and easier than we may have believed possible. ✨💫🪄 

Win/win, right?😁

What are the tools that you use to connect to your beautiful inner child?

Much love and big hugs;

  • Terah💖

The Power of Gratitude

by Terah Drake, posted in Uncategorized

Charlie Brown, in the comic strip Peanuts, expressed it perfectly – What if today, we were just grateful for everything?  

Better yet, what if every day, we were grateful for everything?  What if we were grateful for every single experience life has or is bringing to us?  

This may seem like a strange way to think.  Why would we be grateful for all of the negative or even awful things that we experience in this life?  

It can be so easy to regret and lament past decisions and the “negative” experiences life has brought to us.  But this can keep us in a negative loop – holding “victim mentality”, and inhibiting our abilities as creators.

So what if instead we learned to be grateful for it all?  What if we viewed all of the negative experiences of our past as opportunities for growth – to gain wisdom, to learn greater compassion, to experience the contrast of those things that don’t work for us to better know those things that do?

What if we considered the possibility that we came to this life as spirit, ready to be born into flesh to learn those lessons and to fully experience every single aspect of life from the sunsets to the sh#t on our shoe? 

You may be reading this and rolling your eyes, thinking that I am being a wide-eyed idealist rather than a realist.  What could possibly be the motivation to be thankful for the sh#t on our shoe or any other “crappy” experience life throws our way? (pun intended )

Would you reconsider if I told you being grateful not only increases life quality, overall happiness, physical and emotional health but also builds a better brain and significantly fatter wallet?

I thought that might catch your attention.  Read on…

Dr. Laurie Santos, Professor of Psychology and creator of the wildly popular “Happiness Lab”  at Yale University, teaches that gratitude is one of the key factors of happiness – and science is backing up this previously “woo woo” theory.  In her course “Psychology and The Good Life” (most popular course at Yale in 300 years) she teaches much of that science. 

For example, it has been shown in research that when we feel grateful, our brain produces greater concentrations of dopamine; a feel-good neurotransmitter.  That dopamine increases when we express that gratitude through writing, speech, or compassionate action. 

Gratitude also increases creativity and performance – professor SONJA LYUBOMIRSKY,,  author of The How of Happiness, conducted an 8-month study of happiness at Harvard University.  The results of this study showed that when a daily gratitude and affirmation practice was used, people were 19% more productive, analytic problem solving increased by 29%, and here’s the really cool one – revenue was increased by 36%. { Sheldon & Lyubomirsky, 2004, 2006a, 2007} 

Crazy, right?

So what if we woke each day feeling happy, energized and ready to set intentions for an amazing day?  And on those days that weren’t quite as amazing, what if we were grateful for the contrast – and even more so the ability to wake tomorrow and try again? 

 What if we made the conscious decision to begin to overlay those old subconscious programs of lack and negativity with something better?

What if we started a gratitude practice each and every day, in which we spent just a few minutes writing or really feeling into the space of gratefulness? 

What if we wrote letters to our loved ones expressing all the things we appreciate about them?  

What if we wrote a letter to ourselves expressing all the amazing things we loved and appreciated about us?  Can you think of five things off the top of your head that you love and appreciate about yourself? 🤔

I’ve had a morning gratitude/affirmation journaling/meditation practice for several years now and I can tell you that not only do I feel better and more joyful – even in the times of intense stress – but my day flows better and I am able to create and manifest just about anything I can put my mind to.  

Some days I like to “supercharge” this practice with a “handsa” – I write my daily affirmation on my palm to come back to throughout the day.  Today’s handsa is “As my heart fully opens, my mind expands and that space is effortlessly filled with wisdom, freedom, joy, and abundance.”  But there are days where I keep it super simple, too – “Big Juicy Life”, “I Create” “I am love” or “I hold myself in the space of”: (gratitude, joy, contentment, prosperity,etc.)  

How can you make space each day for gratitude?  What would a daily practice look like to you if you knew being in a place of optimism and gratefulness would absolutely improve the quality of your life?  

I can’t wait to see what you come up with.   

Much love, beautiful. 💫💞✨

  • Terah💖