Tag: #selfgrowth

Egoic Constructs – Safety or Prison?

by Terah Drake, posted in Uncategorized

Life is a dream; a self-created reality in which our subconscious programs largely direct our thoughts, moods, and actions. Most of the time, these programs keep us in a state of sleepwalking as we react and respond to life based upon what our past experiences have dictated. But frankly, it’s all bullshit.

Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily…Life is but a dream.

– Row, Row, Row your boat.

It’s all a construct. The human brain is wired to survive, not to thrive. As a result, we build these supposedly “safe” walls and edifices with our minds until at some point, whether we realize it or not, we are locked inside a fortress of our own making.

These constructs are often (usually) based on childhood experiences and family dynamics that lay down neurological programming – such as taking on the identity of one of the six “roles” of a dysfunctional family life: the Hero, Scapegoat, Lost Child, Mascot, Caretaker/Enabler, and the Golden Child. Because these egoic identities were built as a result of our early neurological programming, they become the pathways that we continue to follow well into adulthood, and sometimes until death.

I don’t know about you, but this just feels like a huge Ouch.  

I think of myself as someone who is fairly #awake.  I’ve had a deeper sense of “knowing” for as long as I can remember.  I think I may have been born a little less asleep, or perhaps I’ve just been around the block enough (#reincarnation) that I am usually pretty good at seeing through the veil.  Through the constructs. Through the Bullsh#t.  

But for any of us, no matter where we are in our soul’s evolutionary journey, I believe that in this life; what the Buddhism and Hinduism call the “Maya”, or veil of illusion, we wake, then fall asleep again, only to awaken wondering when it was that we lost our awareness of the Maya.  

I don’t know that we ever become fully enlightened, full time.  That’s part of the process.  Part of the contrast that is necessary to keep things interesting and to keep us engaged.

But here’s the thing – the more often we awaken, the longer these periods of awareness will be, and the more observation and awareness that we bring into the Who that we are keeps these periods stretched out and more frequent. 

But a recent circumstance in my life made it abundantly clear that I was still holding long-standing #childhoodpatterns of low self-worth and people pleasing. In my desire to see someone I care for happy and whole, I lose parts of myself. In my need to heal and be invaluable, I allow myself to be de-valued.

 In my own #toxicchildhood, I alternated between Hero, Scapegoat and Caretaker, and perpetuated those cycles into my first relationships.  I thought I had healed those parts of myself years ago, but this experience showed me that I was still holding those roles – those identities – close to the heart.  

Seeing my own dysfunctional childhood programs and huge egoic constructs staring me in the face felt like being punched in the gut and tbh, I had a week’s worth of wobble as I tried to decide if I could just ignore it all and keep #pretending that the years of #therapy and #selfwork had left me fully #woke. Enlightened.

In the end, I opted to look that sh#t straight in the face and run towards the storm rather than away from it. The fastest way through, right? Until we choose to be #relentless about our continued growth and do the damned work, we can not move into greater #wholeness and #authenticity. We can not achieve the life of freedom and joy that we may be seeking.

And sometimes, that f#cking sucks. The work is hard, and often creates more chaos in our lives before it opens up to peace and joy. I guess that’s why it’s called “work”.🤷‍♀️

But here’s the thing – Once you get past the initial shock and pain of seeing those hard truths revealed, you realize that your conscious mind and highest self is navigating the waters of your life, moving you towards greater freedom and fullness rather than continuing to be a slave to your past programming and #toxichistory.

Our highest selves are always communicating with us, trying to show us the way to release those outdated programs and patterns that no longer serve our highest evolution. But it is up to us to listen. To pay attention. And when those hard truths come, we must confront them rather than turn away.

Going into those unfamiliar waters, confronting our “demons” and doing the work may be difficult – but it is also incredibly rewarding and an exciting journey.  It can be beautiful and joyous, even.✨  Ultimately, being awake and aware not only makes us more happy, caring, and compassionate humans, it’s a whole lot more fun.😁

What unhealthy #childhood programs might be holding you back from living your best life and the fullest expression of who you are? 

Much love and huge hugs.💕

  • Terah

Equations of the Heart and Mind

by Terah Drake, posted in Uncategorized

Did you know that the heart thinks?  

A human heart contains 40,000 neural cells that form a complex nervous system.  

This “heart mind” sends more signals to the brain than the brain sends to the heart.  Just as the brain produces hormones/neural chemicals, the heart also produces its own adrenaline, oxytocin, dopamine, as well as ANF, (atrial natriuretic factor) a peptide that helps regulate healthy heart and kidney function.  The heart also keeps the energetic signals of the body and brain regulated through the physical contraction and expansion of a “heartbeat”.  

But here’s where things get even more interesting:  The heart produces its own electromagnetic field that is 5000 times greater than that of the brain.  

This magnetic field is a signal network that extends around us in a range of fifteen to twenty-five feet (!) and interacts with other living beings as well as the earth’s own electromagnetic field, feeding us information about the world around us and broadcasting our own information to everyone and everything we meet.

This also ties into the Enteric Nervous System – a network of 100 million nerve cells that line the esophagus down to and through the gastrointestinal tract, which also communicates information back to the brain.

This complex system of heart-gut-brain relation and communication is much more the “knowing mind” than the brain as a segregated entity, which largely makes decisions for us based upon past experience and neurological patterns rather than the full picture of each moment.  

So cool, right?  

As many things that were taught for thousands of years but discarded with the dawn of the Industrial Age, I believe our ancestors were on to a fundamental truth with adages like “You will never find peace of mind until you listen to your heart.”   Or “It is only with the heart that one can see rightly.” 

J Krishamurti said “Intuition is the whisper of the soul.”

 One of my personal favorites – “At the center of your being you have the answer, you know who you are and you know what you want.”  

If we wanted to get a little deeper into the quantum physics of the magnetic field, all of the information that we gather in the “quantum field” – that field that extends beyond us and into everything and All That Is, is also feeding us information.

It is the aggregate of information that is gathered between our brain, our heart/magnetic field, and the gut in the “field” that gives us the 11 million bits of information that humans process each second. But the problem here is that the brain has to translate all that information into roughly 40-50 bits per second for us to function and think without shorting out.

This is where unconscious bias comes in. The brain uses a system called the Reticular Activating System (RAS) to filter out anything it screens as impertinent.

Unfortunately, this can be a huge detriment to helping us to achieve a happy life.

Because the human brain works largely on programming and patterning, it often filters out the information that we actually need to find joy in favor of the information that the brain thinks will help us to survive best based upon our past programming and experience.

So if following the crowd, people pleasing, shutting down, fighting, accepting less-than treatment, (or even abuse) or any other trauma-based behavior were childhood subsets, there is a good chance that those early programs will be dictating your adult behavioral experiences, too.

As we have discussed before, the brain is wired to survive, not to thrive.  So ouch.😣. 

But awareness of this can help us to recognize and bypass what is past programming and what is actually truth and the best solution for not only our greatest happiness, but also for the greatest expansion of who we are in the evolution of our souls.

That just makes me wanna shout “hellllll yeah!”😁.

Because this means we don’t have to be a slave to our past programs. We can begin right now to steer our own ship and navigate our destiny for a greater joy than we ever dreamed possible.

I know this from personal experience.🥳

Even in the times of my greatest sorrow and heartbreak, I can’t help but go back to the feeling of joy – what is now my personal preset of “baseline happy”, which is pretty damned amazing.

I may have moments, or sometimes even hours where I feel unhappy, or I need to allow myself to grieve for whatever the unhappiness of my circumstance is – but here is the absolute truth of my existence – the vast majority of the time, regardless of whatever that circumstance may be, I am dance-in-the-fields-when-I-walk-my-dogs or in-my-kitchen while-cooking happy. 💫💃🏼

I don’t get bored. I feel a huge amount of gratitude for this big beautiful life. I smile at nearly every stranger, and go out of my way to help others feel a little of my joy – because I believe the world would be a much better place if we all understood these truths about ourselves and chose to live happy. I wish we all would make the conscious choice to fully live, rather than existing or waiting to die.

So, the next time you have a dilemma or a problem you can’t solve, perhaps the best question to ask is this: what is the consensus of my heart and gut/intuition telling me?

Then, bring the brain into the equation to ask – “Is this my truth/wisdom, or is this the voice of my parents/peers/societal norms that are giving me these answers?”

Intuition+heart intelligence+past experience and programming = answers. 😎

Today and all days, please remember – You are loved. You are worth every joy. You are amazing.💖

Sending big, big hugs your way, beautiful one.🥰

– Terah

Say Yes!

by Terah Drake, posted in Uncategorized

When you do not know what to choose, show total involvement in everything. Then Life will choose, and it is never wrong. -Sadhguru

This can be so hard, can’t it?

To be totally involved in anything, let alone everything can be a struggle. We are often taught from a young age to choose the “safe” path in every aspect of life. Or we take the easy choices offered to us because we fear we might fail at the harder ones. We tend to base our present and future actions upon our past experiences, and unfortunately, our past experiences have too often been linked to struggle or pain.

We have all experienced loss in love/family/friendship relationships, jobs or business opportunities, health, pets, or any number of circumstances that, like a child burning his hand on a hot stove, have set our neurological programming to “stay away”.  

Those programs are there to protect us, right?  This goes back to the idea (fact) that our brains are hardwired to survive, rather than to thrive.  

The thing is, the same neurological processes that teach us to watch out for a hot fire or poisonous spider – those that keep us safe from physical harm to ensure our best chance for survival – also control our emotional well being and so wire our brain to “beware” those things that have previously hurt us.

We get jilted or broken by a relationship or  lover – or two – and we become reluctant to love fully.  Or at all.  

Someone we think is a friend rejects us and we begin to assume this is going to be the case with all friendships.  So we shut down – but loneliness is a poor substitute for the joy we often find in good company and community, isn’t it? 

We close shop on our dream business or get fired/laid off from a job we enjoy through no fault of our own – and we start thinking “maybe it’s me”.  Or we begin to wonder if we are truly worthy of achieving our dreams or having the financial abundance that we desire. 

We fail with that first art piece, poetry, novel, or gourmet meal, and instead of giving it a second, third, fourth or even fifth go, decide that it’s “just not for us”.  Can you relate? 

We learn to live our lives allowing our past pain to dictate our future experience.  Our world gets smaller as we “play it safe” in an attempt to keep us from more pain.  

But if those old programs that keep us safe also keep us from living fully and joyfully, it might be time to overlay some new programs and ways of being. True happiness is a fairly recent evolutionary process, but I believe this is the absolute coolest aspect of our existence today:

We Can Choose Happiness.

We can stop playing it safe, if safe means unfulfilled and unhappy.

It might be time to give up the self-limiting illusion of control, stop saying “maybe tomorrow” and start saying “yes” – or better yet, “Helllll Yeah” to those opportunities that come your way, and jump, eyes, heart and arms wide open off that ledge – and into the waiting arms of All That Is.  Sadhguru called it “Life”, but this is just another word for Source.  When we give up control and take that leap, have faith that The Universe has your back.  

So say yes to that new love.  Yes to the travel.  Yes to that bakery, bookstore, crystal shop or any other business you have been dreaming of.  Yes to the dream job you have been offered but feels like a stretch.  Yes to the poetry, yes to the art, yes to the new culinary explorations from a burn-your-ass curry to a delicate halibut cheek sashimi.  

I was recently talking whiskeys with a friend.  I loved his take on his liquors of choice:

“When I drink, I want something that is going to beat me up and take my lunch money.” Now that is an all-in, hellll yeah attitude.  

So say yes to the big jammy reds, the light-on-your palate whites or the peaty, fire-down-your-gullet single malts.  Unless alcohol is a problem for you, of course.  

Say yes the birdwatching, whale watching, boy or girl watching.  Say yes to big hugs and long embraces, yes to conversations with strangers, to new coffee shops, to learning to surf or pick-up games of beach volleyball, bowling or tree climbing – even if you think you might suck.  Especially if you think you might suck.  Having fun while failing can be one of life’s great pleasures, believe me. 

Say yes to new adventures.  Or misadventures, as long as it’s fun and doesn’t harm anyone.

Say yes to that sexy new neighbor with the fabulous French accent.  Or Spanish, Romanian, or no accent at all. 

Try it all, at least once.  How do you know what’s right for you if you don’t experience a few wrongs? This one sentence translates into nearly everything in life from finding the perfect boot to the right relationship – and everything in between.

In fact, just say yes to anything that points you in the general direction of bliss, of a feeling of ease within yourself and the fullest expansion of who you are.  It just might be the best thing you ever did. 

Is it possible that if you dive right in you might get hurt again?  Of course.  But the experience is never wasted.  We heal, and every single experience teaches us something about ourselves, our world and others.   I can guarantee from personal experience, once you do jump off that cliff and into the waiting arms of the Universe – of whatever it is that is out there that is so much greater than our comprehension – you will never, ever want to go back to that place of lack, of allowing the past to dictate the future.  

It’s a brave new world.  I believe we are on the cusp of a huge evolutionary step foward, from surviving to thriving.  If you are reading this, perhaps this is your time to take that leap into the unknown – and into the waiting arms of Source, of Love, of bliss, of expansion and authenticity.   

I can’t wait to see all that the future holds for you.  It’s going to be absolutely magical.✨ 

Sending much love your way💖

  • Terah 

Staying connected through life’s storms

by Terah Drake, posted in Uncategorized

Hello, Beautiful.

Are you a lucid dreamer?  Do you find yourself thinking about your dreams during the day?

When we dream, we are every aspect of the dream.  We are the Observer and the Participants.  We are the people in the dream; from the little girl in the candy shop to the old man playing the oboe.  We are the little white terrier who is biting ankles or sitting obediently.  We are every blade of grass, ray of sunshine, shimmering leaf.  

Alot like this, I like to think of people as trees;  from the root system/foundation – our younger years – to the tiptop and outermost branches; our older selves.  But we are also the creatures that call the tree home, as well the caretakers that promote the tree’s optimal growth and beauty.  

There can be days, weeks, and even years when it feels like we are just growing slowly;  waving gently in the breeze while birds and squirrels cavort in the branches.  It occasionally rains or gentle winds cause leaves to drop to the base to become compost, fertilizing the roots and creating more growth.  Just as it should be. 

But sometimes, life brings heavy storms.   The passing of a loved one, divorce, losing friends, or members of our tribe, financial crisis, natural disasters, and moving can all be examples of these storms.  These times inevitably suck major testes, but thi is where things can get also really interesting in a wonderful, awful sort of way.  

Those hurricane-force winds begin shaking not only our branches but the trunk itself, causing what may feel like our entire network of leaves and small branches to fall to the base of our tree. 

This upheaval can begin to clog our roots.  If we have unresolved childhood trauma, the emotional, energetic and psychic blocks that this can cause will compound the problem.

These upheavals can be such a frightening experience.  As a result, all too often, we take on the persona of the birds and squirrels, retreating to the topmost branches or hovering above where it may feel safer but creates even more emotional distance from our root system.  

When we spend too much time in  this place, we may become so disconnected from our foundation that our root system begins to suffocate and rot. If we allow this to continue, we succumb to emotional and physical illness, aging before our time, and a host of other ailments that ultimately, keep us from living our best  possible lives.

But if we remain present through the process – and connected to our inner caretaker –  he will wade into the compost and get to work freeing up the root system to create space; aeration of that heavy load of decaying matter, allowing it to become a kickass fertilizer that supercharges our health and growth, allowing us to become the fullest, most beautiful expression of who we are meant to be.  

But let’s be frank. Who really wants to wade into a swamp of fertilizer? It stinks. It’s thick and sludgy and difficult. 💩

Self-growth is damned  hard, sometimes. Oftentimes. Most times.😬

For me, when those inevitable “storms” come, as they have, hard and fast,  in the past couple of years, “doing the work“ often looks like hours of insomnia in the middle of the night, where my mind insists that I process through much of that fertilizer, both past and present.  It sucks.

 Of course, I have the choice of drinking myself into a stupor, taking a sleeping pill to avoid the 3 AM wake up call or just telling my caretaker to get lost (or f#ck off). 

 It often feels like it would be much easier to take on the Persona of the squirrels and birds, looking down at the narsty mire clogging my roots with a “hellllll naw” attitude. 😳

But here’s where the wonderful part comes in. 

When I make the commitment to face the fears, insecurities, anxieties, and past trauma, I experience revelation that allows me to free up some of the space closest to my foundation, enabling not only better growth, but also a feeling of lightness and freedom that wasn’t there when I went to bed.  I also often get the opportunity to meet lost aspects of myself that I didn’t even know existed, creating greater integration into the fullness of who I am.  (if you are interested in learning more about this, check out IFS therapy. It’s powerful stuff.)

I may have gone to bed feeling bound and heavy, but by the time I have gotten up, had a cup of coffee, and done a little more processing of my nocturnal “work”, it feels like my branches are widespread, open, and shimmering gloriously in the morning light. 

I would like you to also experience this revelation in the times when life feels difficult. You are a beautiful, amazing being of light and deserve to feel happy as often as possible, even when life hits you with challenging storms.  

It may not be easy.  But babe, you are worth the effort. 

Much love.💖

– Terah

Honoring our anger

by Terah Drake, posted in honoring emotions, self development, self-growth, confidence, self worth

We are taught just about from birth that our anger is not ok.  That it doesn’t have a place in the world.  That we should be seen and not heard and heaven forbid we actually express the way we feel.  

Only too often, we end up burying traumatic and painful experiences instead of expressing and processing through them because of this societal dictate.  

But babe, our #anger is just as much a part of us as our joy.  

In fact, it is possibly more important because it typically expresses itself only when we really need something and our other methods of #Communication haven’t worked – or we are so emotionally in our heads that we can’t verbalize what we need or are trying to accomplish.

But when that tantrum comes, it is generally because we need something powerful.  

More #love 

Less judgement (most of all from ourselves) 

More space (it is 💯 ok for our kids – or ourselves – to not want to be touched sometimes) – or maybe we really need a big hug.  

Or to be heard, or seen, or valued in some way that we are not receiving.  

Or a hundred other big and small reasons that that ”monster” side of ourselves flares up.  

Finnish/Scottish temper here, so believe me, I get the slow burn right up to flaming redhead watch the f#ck out pissed-ness, lol. 🤯🤷‍♀️🙄

When we are taught as children to repress our negative emotions, that anger, sadness, fear, etc. doesn’t just disappear into the ether. 

 It gets buried in our subconscious and eventually, like a really bad boil that becomes infected, will express itself in ways that are usually destructive to ourselves or others.  

We turn to bullying.  Or self-harm.  Or stealing.  Or addiction.  Anything to perpetuate the cycle of denying our truths; of denying our “negative” emotions.  

But when we allow that anger to #express what it needs to express, not only are we better equipped to give our kids, ourselves, and others the guidance or whatever it is that is needed in the moment, but that heat cools quickly to be replaced by joy; a quick storm turning to sunny skies.🌞✨

And each time we give our children or ourselves the grace to speak our truths openly and honestly, we are creating a better future for everyone.  

So the next time your wee one (whether it is your child, partner, or your own beautiful inner child) throws a tantrum, slowwwwwww down.  Ask yourself and them what it is that is trying to be communicated.   

Give that precious child what they need and watch as your relationships improve dramatically. 

Much love and big hugs!💖

@selfcarewarrior 👏💕

#honoryouranger #shadowwork #opencommunication #kids #kidsarepeopletoo #healing

In the Yuck

by Terah Drake, posted in Uncategorized

my brain and

heart divorced

a decade ago

over who was

to blame about

how big of a mess

I have become

eventually,

they couldn’t be 

in the same room

with each other 

now my head and heart 

share custody of me

I stay with my brain 

during the week

and my heart 

gets me on weekends

they never speak to one another

    – instead, they give me

the same note to pass

to each other every week 

and their notes they

send to one another always 

says the same thing:

“This is all your fault”

on Sundays

my heart complains

about how my 

head has let me down

in the past

and on Wednesday

my head lists all

of the times my 

heart has screwed

things up for me 

in the future

they blame each

other for the 

state of my life

there’s been a lot

of yelling – and crying

so,

    lately, I’ve been

spending a lot of 

time with my gut

who serves as my

unofficial therapist

most nights, I sneak out of the

window in my ribcage

and slide down my spine

and collapse on my 

gut’s plush leather chair

that’s always open for me

~ and I just sit sit sit sit

until the sun comes up

last evening, 

my gut asked me

if I was having a hard

time being caught 

between my heart

and my head

I nodded

I said I didn’t know

if I could live with 

either of them anymore

“my heart is always sad about

something that happened yesterday

while my head is always worried

about something that may happen tomorrow,” 

I lamented

my gut squeezed my hand

“I just can’t live with

my mistakes of the past

or my anxiety about the future,”

I sighed

my gut smiled and said:

“in that case, 

you should 

go stay with your 

lungs for a while,”

I was confused

  – the look on my face gave it away

“if you are exhausted about

your heart’s obsession with

the fixed past and your mind’s focus

on the uncertain future

your lungs are the perfect place for you

there is no yesterday in your lungs

there is no tomorrow there either

there is only now

there is only inhale

there is only exhale

there is only this moment

there is only breath

and in that breath

you can rest while your

heart and head work 

their relationship out.”

this morning,

while my brain

was busy reading

tea leaves

and while my

heart was staring

at old photographs 

I packed a little

bag and walked

to the door of 

my lungs

before I could even knock

she opened the door

with a smile and as

a gust of air embraced me

she said

“what took you so long?”

~ john roedel (johnroedel.com)

Today was a good day to practice being ok with not being ok.  To do some serious self-soothing. 

I have recently been overwhelmed with a hundred or so projects necessary to take care of in preparation to put my house on the market.  This is while trying to maintain a small sense of normalcy amidst divorce, the deaths of a loved one and beloved dog, natural disasters #greatflood) and a host of day to day stressors.  #worstyearever 

As a result, I think I’ve spent months skirting around my grief, falling into momentary frustration or sadness but then picking myself up by my bootstraps because it’s 💯 not ok for me to not be ok. 😣

I worry that spending too much time in negative emotions will lead to long-term neurological patterns, (it will) but it’s a balance, you know? Allowing yourself to really experience that deep-held grief is so hard, but it’s a necessary aspect of getting beyond the negative emotions to a healthier reality. 

This also goes back to inner child work – how would we treat our own or a beloved child who was sad or angry as a result of extreme trauma?   

Hopefully, we would be gentle with them, loving them as they processed through their grief and unhappiness.  We should treat our own inner child just the same.  

For me, it has felt like the last few days all of that stored emotion has been so close to the surface that I could barely breathe. I had lost the deep connection I’ve always had to my lungs. (Yoga instructor..🧘🏼‍♀️) and my mind was constantly throwing worst case scenarios at me as my heart vied for attention to deal with the myriad heartaches of the last year.  

I once had a therapist use the metaphor of pennies in a jar of water for stressors. The jar may be nearly full of water and not spill over, even with hundreds of pennies added. But at some point, there is one more penny that is added and the water begins to pour over the sides of the jar. From that point, every penny added contributes to the waterfall.

I think there must have been a penny or two added recently that were my waterfall coins. Anxiety about what’s next in a real estate market that is pretty crazy doesn’t help and I’ve found myself obsessing over Redfin and Realtor.com for hours, (where will we go?  How will we afford another home and property in this insane market?  What about interest rates??😬) and I’m so doing also avoiding the hundreds of
 projects that I should be doing instead.

Some days it be like that…😔

 So today I woke feeling incredibly heavy.  

I wanted to continue to avoid the yuck. It feels easier to throw myself into distraction. But like a boil that has abscessed, I couldn’t quite focus on any one task. I would experience moments of intense sadness or anger at what felt like silly things.

So I finally gave up trying to suppress those feelings and allowed myself to be fully in all the emotions.

I much prefer the feeling of residing in joy – the vast majority of the time – so this was a highly uncomfortable process for me. I spent a large portion of the day on the couch, giving myself space to just accept whatever came up.

Now here is what was wonderful about allowing these negative emotions to Be – at some point, I started to feel a little lighter.

Towards evening, my heart began to feel soothed. I reconnected with my lungs.  My brain stopped the whirlwind of “what ifs“.  

 I finally got up, made myself a meal and took my puppers ( #astrathewolfpup) for a walk. I let Apple choose my music and Spirit came through loud and clear in the song selections to let me know that Source has my back and I’m going to be ok. 🥰.  If I know one thing from my own history, it’s that ultimately, things always work out.  

If you are experiencing your own #darknightofthesoul, beautiful, I hope you choose to own those negative feelings. Sit in the yuck until your gorgeous inner child gets calm. Do some self-care and give yourself lots of ❤️ . It’s all part of the process of becoming whole, of becoming the most authentic version of yourself and ultimately, living your life as a dynamic creator and divine being.

You are loved.  You are capable.  You are worthy. And babe, in case you had forgotten, I love you.💖

Big hugs and lots of love.💕

– Terah

Starry-eyed Child

by Terah Drake, posted in Uncategorized

Practice any art, music, singing, dancing, acting, drawing, painting, sculpting, poetry, fiction, essays, reportage, no matter how well or badly, not to get money and fame, but to experience becoming, to find out what’s inside you, to make your soul grow. – Kurt Vonnegut

Mary, Mary, quite contrary

How does your garden grow?

With silver bells and cockleshells

And pretty maids all in a row

And pretty maids all in a row

What grows in your garden?

Do you have a rich inner life, well watered and fertilized with all of the things that make your inner child happy?

Your happy, fulfilled inner child is the key to experiencing joy no matter your current age. 

But for most of us, the better question might be: How often do you take a few moments to tune in to the precious, starry-eyed little boy or girl living inside of you?

It can be only too easy to lose track of those other parts of ourselves in the business and busy-ness of every day adult life.  

But even if you feel like your younger selves are lost to the deepest reaches of your inner being, I can promise you they are still there, waiting to be acknowledged. Waiting to come out and play.

Waiting to create a deeper sense of joy and presence in the everyday business and busyness of life.

Meeting that child (even if it’s for the first time) can be as easy as sitting quietly for a bit and asking that little one to come out and talk to you.  

Can you feel the sense of that younger you peeping around the curtains of the stage of your subconscious mind and deeper realms of the body?  If so, can you let them take center stage for a bit? 

What does she/he look like?  What are they wearing?  What would they like to do as they stand in the center of your mind-stage?  

Would they create a masterpiece from clay or paint?  Or maybe fingerpaint the walls?  Would they spend time in the woods or on the beach?  Would they dance?  What kind of dance? What colors make them happy?  

My inner child is especially fond of hip-hop, Latin dancing, singing, dancing and skipping on nature walks and spicy foods. She loves painting, animals, seeing new places and talking to random strangers.🤷‍♀️. She’s also goofy, temperamental and a little emotional.

Adult me isn’t quite so outgoing, leans towards logic and isn’t always comfortable with strong emotions. Adult me holds pain and past trauma a little closer to the heart.😣.

So allowing her to stay integrated also keeps those opposing parts of my personality balanced.  

A big part of this integration is finding time each week to tune in to how she’s doing, and find activities that will make her happy.  I also try to tune in to those younger aspects of myself when I’m making a major decision – our inner children tend to be closer to our intuition and that which connects us to Source/God/All That Is.  

Connecting to our intuition and Source also allows us to manifest our dreams and wishes and bring the desires of our hearts to us quicker and easier than we may have believed possible. ✨💫🪄 

Win/win, right?😁

What are the tools that you use to connect to your beautiful inner child?

Much love and big hugs;

  • Terah💖

Contrasts and the big picture

by Terah Drake, posted in Uncategorized

The last months have brought more challenges and difficulties to my life than in the many years before. 

I separated from my husband of nearly 14 years early last spring and moved out and onto a boat this fall.  Boatlife is awesome in so many ways but also very challenging in others, especially living on a 1969 wooden yacht in the winter.  

I still own my farm in the country and we’ve been through two rounds of major flooding now. 

Watching your life float away as your property is under a foot or more of water is a surreal experience.  Digging out the mountains of mud after the first round of flooding only to have even heavier flooding the following week was in some ways highly charged emotionally, but at the same time, knowing that there is nothing I can do about it at the moment makes it easier to let go of the anxiety and grief that I experienced the first time, standing in my garage up to my ankles in water and mud as my stored possessions and tokens of my children’s life floated around me.

One of my “most important people” passed away last summer.  My aunt Sandra was one of the three women in my life who showed me unconditional love growing up.  She took me in when I was a teenager headed in the wrong direction and gave me a new start, likely altering the entire course of my life for the better.  Her death was earth-shattering for a few weeks.  

I also had an ending to one of my dearest friendships of many years, which is so, so hard as I still hold much love her, but I know that the toxic elements that have been in the relationship for many years are always going to be there, and I have to release those things and relationships that cause ongoing strife and pain in order to move into the place that I know I want to be.  

My daughter has just gotten married and is moving to Okinawa, Japan in January.  I am beyond excited for her (and a little jealous, lol) but it is difficult knowing she will be so far away.  She has been living in Tempe for the last year and a half and it’s pretty easy for me to jump on a plane or plan a road trip to go see her, or fly her up for a family visit.  Not as much when it is a 20-plus hour flight.  

I often get messages from friends and loved ones like “I am so sorry for what you are going through” or “Are you ok?  You must really be struggling right now”.  But the truth is, I am happy the vast majority of the time.  I have an amazing life – and really am not struggling.  For the most part. 

I have times when I have to deal with the literal and metaphoric mud that is in my life.  I’ve got a few dumpster fires for sure.  But here’s how I process the “Contrasts” that we all experience in life and manage to remain happy and grounded 85-90% of the time:

I fully acknowledge and really allow myself to feel the shiznit when it happens.  I yell a little, or cry alot.  In the moment.  I take an honest look at what is happening and what my emotional experience is.   And then I step back and ask myself two questions:  Is this a problem I can solve right now?  And – Is it going to serve me to hold these negative emotions?  

Sometimes, very occasionally, using a so-called negative emotion such as anger to be a catalyst to get off our ass and make some positive change or to drop the toxic elements of our life that are causing the anger can be a good thing.  But more often than not, we allow our negative emotions to hold us as captive as those situations or people that are at the root of our emotional state do.  

So for me, I usually make the decision to let that sh#t go.  

If there is a problem I can solve, I look at the steps to fix it.  One of the biggest challenges to living on an old boat in winter is power usage.  I can’t cook and have my heat on at the same time.  I can’t have my hot water heater on and anything else besides the lights going.  It is an exercise in frustration and I am constantly tripping the circuit breakers.  I’ve had a few times when everything has gone out and it takes some time to trace the problem to its source.  But by addressing each element of the problem in turn, I can usually get things going again.  

With my currently flooding property, there is absolutely nothing I can do to fix the situation.  At the moment.  So I say “fuck it” and set aside the emotional aspects of that problem until I can begin taking steps to dig everything out of the mud again.  

Self-care is absolutely crucial in maintaining a healthy sense of balance and happiness, even in the middle of the shiznit.  Taking time to get some healthy exercise, eat well, spend time with friends and family, take some long, hot baths or whatever mode of self-care feels best for you can make a huge difference in holding onto your happy state.

Right now, I am overlooking a spectacular view of the Pacific ocean and Haystack Rock in Cannon Beach, Oregon.  I have good coffee beside me as I write, and a fabulous, oversized bathtub in the room to soak away all of the residual stress of life.  I’ve been walking the beach, wandering quaint shops and of course, hitting the bookstores.  

Tomorrow I head back to reality but taking some time – whether it’s just a few hours or a few days –  to step away from it all keeps the bigger picture in perspective.  

Ultimately, the contrasts are there to remind us of the good.  When we are in the middle of life’s challenges – especially the big ones – it can be hard to see the big picture.  We get stuck in that tiny bit of black paint that seems our only reality.  But with practice, we can learn to step back and “see” the portrait of our life, recognizing that that bit of black paint is just one small spot of darkness in an otherwise bright and beautiful composition. 

 More importantly, that black “paint” is vital in bringing forward those lights and brights.  It may suck for a bit while you are in it, but beautiful, when you see the whole picture, you will be astounded by the brilliance and beauty of your life.  Truly.  

What are some of the contrasts that you have been experiencing lately – and how do you keep your happy space forward in your mind and heart amidst the challenges life may bring?  

If you are going through some of your own dark spots right now, I hope you know that you are not alone.  I am here with you, and you’ve so got this – but if you need a little extra love and support, I’ve got you back.  You are amazing.  You are worthy.  You are capable, and so very loved.  

Always;

  • Terah

The Power of Gratitude

by Terah Drake, posted in Uncategorized

Charlie Brown, in the comic strip Peanuts, expressed it perfectly – What if today, we were just grateful for everything?  

Better yet, what if every day, we were grateful for everything?  What if we were grateful for every single experience life has or is bringing to us?  

This may seem like a strange way to think.  Why would we be grateful for all of the negative or even awful things that we experience in this life?  

It can be so easy to regret and lament past decisions and the “negative” experiences life has brought to us.  But this can keep us in a negative loop – holding “victim mentality”, and inhibiting our abilities as creators.

So what if instead we learned to be grateful for it all?  What if we viewed all of the negative experiences of our past as opportunities for growth – to gain wisdom, to learn greater compassion, to experience the contrast of those things that don’t work for us to better know those things that do?

What if we considered the possibility that we came to this life as spirit, ready to be born into flesh to learn those lessons and to fully experience every single aspect of life from the sunsets to the sh#t on our shoe? 

You may be reading this and rolling your eyes, thinking that I am being a wide-eyed idealist rather than a realist.  What could possibly be the motivation to be thankful for the sh#t on our shoe or any other “crappy” experience life throws our way? (pun intended )

Would you reconsider if I told you being grateful not only increases life quality, overall happiness, physical and emotional health but also builds a better brain and significantly fatter wallet?

I thought that might catch your attention.  Read on…

Dr. Laurie Santos, Professor of Psychology and creator of the wildly popular “Happiness Lab”  at Yale University, teaches that gratitude is one of the key factors of happiness – and science is backing up this previously “woo woo” theory.  In her course “Psychology and The Good Life” (most popular course at Yale in 300 years) she teaches much of that science. 

For example, it has been shown in research that when we feel grateful, our brain produces greater concentrations of dopamine; a feel-good neurotransmitter.  That dopamine increases when we express that gratitude through writing, speech, or compassionate action. 

Gratitude also increases creativity and performance – professor SONJA LYUBOMIRSKY,,  author of The How of Happiness, conducted an 8-month study of happiness at Harvard University.  The results of this study showed that when a daily gratitude and affirmation practice was used, people were 19% more productive, analytic problem solving increased by 29%, and here’s the really cool one – revenue was increased by 36%. { Sheldon & Lyubomirsky, 2004, 2006a, 2007} 

Crazy, right?

So what if we woke each day feeling happy, energized and ready to set intentions for an amazing day?  And on those days that weren’t quite as amazing, what if we were grateful for the contrast – and even more so the ability to wake tomorrow and try again? 

 What if we made the conscious decision to begin to overlay those old subconscious programs of lack and negativity with something better?

What if we started a gratitude practice each and every day, in which we spent just a few minutes writing or really feeling into the space of gratefulness? 

What if we wrote letters to our loved ones expressing all the things we appreciate about them?  

What if we wrote a letter to ourselves expressing all the amazing things we loved and appreciated about us?  Can you think of five things off the top of your head that you love and appreciate about yourself? 🤔

I’ve had a morning gratitude/affirmation journaling/meditation practice for several years now and I can tell you that not only do I feel better and more joyful – even in the times of intense stress – but my day flows better and I am able to create and manifest just about anything I can put my mind to.  

Some days I like to “supercharge” this practice with a “handsa” – I write my daily affirmation on my palm to come back to throughout the day.  Today’s handsa is “As my heart fully opens, my mind expands and that space is effortlessly filled with wisdom, freedom, joy, and abundance.”  But there are days where I keep it super simple, too – “Big Juicy Life”, “I Create” “I am love” or “I hold myself in the space of”: (gratitude, joy, contentment, prosperity,etc.)  

How can you make space each day for gratitude?  What would a daily practice look like to you if you knew being in a place of optimism and gratefulness would absolutely improve the quality of your life?  

I can’t wait to see what you come up with.   

Much love, beautiful. 💫💞✨

  • Terah💖

Say Yes

by Terah Drake, posted in Uncategorized

This can be so hard, can’t it?

To be totally involved in anything, let alone everything can be a struggle. We tend to base our present and future actions upon our past experiences, and unfortunately, our past experiences are often linked to pain.

We have all experienced loss in love/family/friendship relationships, jobs or business opportunities, health, pets, or any number of circumstances that have set our neurological programming to “stay away”.  

Those programs are there to protect us, right?  If we burn our hand on an open flame or hot stove, next time we will exercise caution – so of course our brain tells us that it should be no different with other experiences in life.  

We get jilted or broken by a relationship or  lover – or two – and we become reluctant to love fully.  Or at all.  

Someone we think is a friend rejects us and we begin to assume this is going to be the case with all friendships.  So we shut down – but loneliness is a poor substitute for the joy we often find in good company and community, my love.  

We close shop on our dream business or get fired/laid off from a job we enjoy through no fault of our own – and we start thinking “maybe it’s me”.  Or we begin to wonder if we are truly worthy of achieving our dreams or having the financial abundance that we desire. 

We fail with that first art piece, poetry, novel, or gourmet meal, and instead of giving it a second, third, fourth or even fifth go, decide that it’s “just not for us”.  Can you relate? 👀

We acclimate to allow our past pain to dictate our future experience. Our world gets smaller as we start to try to control every aspect of our lives in an attempt to keep us from more pain – it would seem that those same neurological programs that are created and there to keep us from physical harm (to ensure our best chance for survival) also control our emotional well being.

But if those same programs also keep us from living fully and joyfully, it might be time to overlay some new programs and ways of being.  

If you aren’t feeling like you are living the full, rich, juicy life you were created for, it might be time to give up the self-limiting illusion of control, stop saying “maybe tomorrow” and start saying “yes”.

Or better still, say “ Hellllll Yeah” to those opportunities that come your way.

Say hell yeah and jump eyes, heart and arms wide open off that ledge – and into the waiting arms of Source and All That Is. Sadhguru called it “Life”, but this is just another word for Source. When we give up control and take that leap, have faith that Source has your back.

So say yes to that new love. Yes to that bakery, bookstore, crystal shop or any other business you have been dreaming of. Yes to the dream job you have been offered. Yes to the travel, yes to the poetry, yes to the art, yes to the big jammy wines or the light-on-your palette wines. Say yes the birdwatching, whale watching, boy or girl watching – whatever does it for you. Say yes to new babies and puppies, to big hugs and long embraces, yes to conversations with strangers, to new coffee shops, pick-up games of beach volleyball, bowling or tree climbing (even if you think you might suck)

Say yes to new adventures. Or misadventures 😉, as long as it’s fun.

Say yes to that sexy new neighbor with the fabulous French accent. Or Spanish, Romanian, or no accent at all. But say yes, babe. In fact, just say yes to anything that points you in the general direction of bliss, of a feeling of ease within yourself and the fullest expansion of who you are. It just might be the best thing you ever did.

Is it possible that if you dive right in you might get hurt again? Of course. But we heal, and every single experience teaches us something about ourselves, our world and others, right? So it’s never wasted.

And I can guarantee from personal experience, once you do jump off that cliff and into the waiting arms of Source, you will never, ever want to go back to that place of lack, of allowing the past to dictate the future.

It’s a brave new world, my love.  If you are receiving this message, know that this is your time to take that leap into the unknown – and into the waiting arms of Source, of Love, of bliss, of expansion and authenticity.   

I can’t wait to see all that the future holds for you. I know it’s going to be absolutely magical.✨Much love, beautiful.

  • Terah