Hello, Beautiful.
Are you a lucid dreamer? Do you find yourself thinking about your dreams during the day?
When we dream, we are every aspect of the dream. We are the Observer and the Participants. We are the people in the dream; from the little girl in the candy shop to the old man playing the oboe. We are the little white terrier who is biting ankles or sitting obediently. We are every blade of grass, ray of sunshine, shimmering leaf.
Alot like this, I like to think of people as trees; from the root system/foundation – our younger years – to the tiptop and outermost branches; our older selves. But we are also the creatures that call the tree home, as well the caretakers that promote the tree’s optimal growth and beauty.
There can be days, weeks, and even years when it feels like we are just growing slowly; waving gently in the breeze while birds and squirrels cavort in the branches. It occasionally rains or gentle winds cause leaves to drop to the base to become compost, fertilizing the roots and creating more growth. Just as it should be.
But sometimes, life brings heavy storms. The passing of a loved one, divorce, losing friends, or members of our tribe, financial crisis, natural disasters, and moving can all be examples of these storms. These times inevitably suck major testes, but thi is where things can get also really interesting in a wonderful, awful sort of way.
Those hurricane-force winds begin shaking not only our branches but the trunk itself, causing what may feel like our entire network of leaves and small branches to fall to the base of our tree.
This upheaval can begin to clog our roots. If we have unresolved childhood trauma, the emotional, energetic and psychic blocks that this can cause will compound the problem.
These upheavals can be such a frightening experience. As a result, all too often, we take on the persona of the birds and squirrels, retreating to the topmost branches or hovering above where it may feel safer but creates even more emotional distance from our root system.
When we spend too much time in this place, we may become so disconnected from our foundation that our root system begins to suffocate and rot. If we allow this to continue, we succumb to emotional and physical illness, aging before our time, and a host of other ailments that ultimately, keep us from living our best possible lives.
But if we remain present through the process – and connected to our inner caretaker – he will wade into the compost and get to work freeing up the root system to create space; aeration of that heavy load of decaying matter, allowing it to become a kickass fertilizer that supercharges our health and growth, allowing us to become the fullest, most beautiful expression of who we are meant to be.
But let’s be frank. Who really wants to wade into a swamp of fertilizer? It stinks. It’s thick and sludgy and difficult. 💩
Self-growth is damned hard, sometimes. Oftentimes. Most times.😬
For me, when those inevitable “storms” come, as they have, hard and fast, in the past couple of years, “doing the work“ often looks like hours of insomnia in the middle of the night, where my mind insists that I process through much of that fertilizer, both past and present. It sucks.
Of course, I have the choice of drinking myself into a stupor, taking a sleeping pill to avoid the 3 AM wake up call or just telling my caretaker to get lost (or f#ck off).
It often feels like it would be much easier to take on the Persona of the squirrels and birds, looking down at the narsty mire clogging my roots with a “hellllll naw” attitude. 😳
But here’s where the wonderful part comes in.
When I make the commitment to face the fears, insecurities, anxieties, and past trauma, I experience revelation that allows me to free up some of the space closest to my foundation, enabling not only better growth, but also a feeling of lightness and freedom that wasn’t there when I went to bed. I also often get the opportunity to meet lost aspects of myself that I didn’t even know existed, creating greater integration into the fullness of who I am. (if you are interested in learning more about this, check out IFS therapy. It’s powerful stuff.)
I may have gone to bed feeling bound and heavy, but by the time I have gotten up, had a cup of coffee, and done a little more processing of my nocturnal “work”, it feels like my branches are widespread, open, and shimmering gloriously in the morning light.
I would like you to also experience this revelation in the times when life feels difficult. You are a beautiful, amazing being of light and deserve to feel happy as often as possible, even when life hits you with challenging storms.
It may not be easy. But babe, you are worth the effort.
Much love.💖
– Terah
This Blessed Sacred Life 