Tag: #metamorphosis

Excavating Our Authenticity: integration of lost Selves

by Terah Drake, posted in Uncategorized

Slot canyon of Paige, Arizona

In Paige, Arizona, just beneath the earth’s surface, there lay long, serpentine crevasses – “Slot Canyons”.  The unearthly experience of being in one of these canyons is like being on another planet; warm reds, browns, golds and even shades of purple coloring narrow stone corridors, sculpted over eons by wind and water to create a spectacular, otherworldly landscape like nothing else.  The journey we walk in this life is much like that canyon: sometimes long and winding, at times so narrow we have to hold our breath to squeeze through, but also at times opening to vast vistas so breathtaking, we could weep for gratitude.

The Swahili word for Journey is “Safari”.  To find your authentic self requires a true Safari; a journey to the self through the self.  This is a journey of spirit, on a spiritual path.  Along the way, you are likely to encounter fierce hunters and predators, wild thick jungles so dense you will need a sharp sword to get through.  You will have periods of darkness where you will wander, hands outstretched and ears wide open, unable to see the path in front of you but moving forward on faith that it is there and you are guided by unseen hands: you are.  

In this Safari of Self, be prepared for upheaval.  There will be moments of hunger as you begin to recognize dysfunctional and unhealthy patterns, as well as those things that your soul longs for.  There will be moments of thirst as understanding begins to tickle the edges of your mind and you want more.  There will be moments of loneliness as unhealthy patterns and associations drop away.

But when you have emerged from that jungle to arrive at the destination of Self; stronger, connected to those who resonate with who you truly are, feeling evolved and luminous – you will wonder that you ever hesitated to take the journey in the first place. 

Rumi, a 13th-century Persian poet and Sufi mystic, observes that “The spiritual path wrecks the body and afterward restores it to health.  It destroys the house to unearth the treasure and with that treasure builds it better than before.”  Bon Voyage, loved one.

“Know Thyself” –  Maxim inscribed upon the Temple of Apollo, Delphi – Plato interpreted this philosophic maxim to mean “Know your soul.”  

Do you feel that you know your Self with a captital S – your soul?  Do you feel solid and whole in who you are, at your core?  

We are meant to be complex, multi-dimensional beings.  When we are whole, we are our most authentic Self; in touch with our highest Self, we are in touch with our child-like nature – our curiosity, sense of fun, possibility, and adventure.  We are able to enjoy pleasure like an embodied, divine being, but also to take radical responsibility for the creation of our lives; to sit down and get sh#t done when it is necessary, like a grown-ass man or woman.  But being integrated isn’t always natural or easy.

Recently, I enjoyed an evening out with one of my oldest friends.  You know those friends that you love on first sight, and know that regardless of time or distance, you just know that you will be friends for life?  She’s one of those.  🥰  We were discussing who we were as kids compared to now.  Once upon a time, she was a badass gangsta with a gorgeous, wicked temper and a propensity to put the hurt on anyone who so much as looked at her beautiful self the wrong way, but now, as an adult working mom she felt she had to become “tame” and as a result, boring. She said she occasionally felt a stirring of that girl inside her, but suppressed that aspect of her Self because she felt that part of her personality would have a negative impact on her personal and professional life.

She had made her career and children her priority, and had stopped living fully or authentically.  She had a wonderful relationship with her kids, but felt limited socially.   She lost her ability to have fun.  She became anxious and disempowered, and badly wanted to reclaim those parts of herself that allowed her to feel a deep sense of joy and satisfaction of life.

I have many friends who feel this way; as though growing up means growing one dimensional.  They have lost their concept of being in touch with their “inner child”, their vulnerability, or their sensuality, because growing up means you have to be a responsible, reliable adult, right?  

As women, we especially need to hold a piece of ourselves as that badass gangsta warrior woman. 

Not an imbalance – she needs to be tempered with compassion, empathy, love and nurturing, but this part of ourselves is where we gain our strength, our power, and when necessary, that momma bear that could tear someone apart with a flick of a wrist if her cubs or loved ones were threatened.  This part of ourselves is also often associated with our sensuality, another piece of our Self that is often either suppressed or overindulged. 

We are meant to be sensual, sexual creatures – it is an aspect of our biology, after all, but that does not mean we have to overly sexualize ourselves to gain value from men, just as repressing the beauty and sexuality of who we are to be “taken seriously” is an imbalance of our authenticity. This imbalance can result in creating a life of loneliness or feeling less-than.  

“I did not lose myself all at once.  I rubbed out my face over the years washing away my pain, the same way carvings on stone are worn down by water.  – Amy Tan

Most of us are taught to suppress our “fullness” from a young age.  We begin to rub parts ourselves away because we want to feel accepted or loved.  We want to “fit in”.  This is perfectly natural, of course.  It is a vital aspect of our DNA to seek connection, companionship and even acceptance of those around us.  We are at our best when we have meaningful connection with others.  When we have loving, supportive partners, family, friends and community.   

The problem is, like my friend, in seeking that approval and acceptance, it can be too easy to go to one extreme of the spectrum of our personalities, closing the door to our complexity, to our ability to express ourselves, or even feel deeply. We become disempowered when we allow others to dictate who we are, though this often happens by degrees, without really even knowing that it is happening.  Has happened. 

We are all glorious, multidimensional beings.✨

We become one-dimensional when we are meant to be multi-dimensional beings.  When we suppress parts of who we are, those parts are like children who are lacking love and attention.  They want to be acknowledged and integrated, and will do whatever it takes to receive the acknowledgment they need, but often in ways that impact us negatively.  Those subconscious parts of ourselves will act out in the form of regression, depression, isolation, dysregulation/overly emotional or angry responses, self-sabotage, or even unexpected violence.   We end up feeling overwhelmed or imbalanced.

Seek not outside of yourself; Heaven is within.  – Mary Lou Cook 

You are a gorgeous, multi-faceted individual who deserves to love every piece of who you are; mind, body and soul.  One of the most important aspects of feeling whole; of good mental health and happiness is acknowledging, embracing, and integrating every aspect of our Self.  We should have access to a sense of our inner child at various stages, our moody or mouthy teen, even the bright-eyed and curious college-age “kid” who we may have thought we grew out of decades ago.  

The following exercises can help you to access lost parts of yourself.  Many,  if not all will likely feel strange, uncomfortable, or emotional for a bit.  Stay with it.  I promise you will experience a shift that can be profound, if you do.  Most of us do not feel truly worthy of love, and part of this is because we spend so much of our lives rejecting those lost parts of ourselves. 

Inner Child Exercise: Find a photo of you as a child.  Hold that photo in your left hand and place your right hand on your heart.  Gaze at the photo, feel the connection between who you are now and who you were then.  Tell that child that you love her.  Do this daily, preferably when you wake and right before bed, when your mind is in a relaxed state.  (Theta brain wave)

Physical touch Exercise:  Give yourself a hug.  Say “Thank you, I love you.”  Stay in this position until you feel a sense of love and appreciation.  Alternatively, place one hand on your heart, one on your navel just below your belly button.  Close your eyes and repeat “Thank you, I love you.’  

Mirror Exercise:  Look at yourself in the mirror.  Really look.  Find three things that you like and admire about your face.  Say it aloud, then follow with –  “I love you.”  

Visual Affirmation Exercise: Write love notes to yourself such as “I love you.”  “You are beautiful/intelligent/worthy/capable, etc.” “I love the way we play.” Or I appreciate our curiosity/sensuality/childlike nature, etc.”  

Deep Inner Work Exercise:  Find a place to get quiet.  Come into your breath, spend some time just observing the slow inflow and outflow of breath from your lungs and nose.   When you feel quiet, ask yourself the question – what aspects of You have you repressed?  Who wants to be heard and have a conversation? 

When you have a sense of what part(s) of your Self need to have some attention, whether it is your inner child, your powerful warrior,  your sensual being, or any other aspect of personality that you may have ignored or suppressed, it is time to have a conversation.  Don’t be surprised if you feel some negative energy.  You may feel a little queasy, frightened, frustrated, angry – or a host of other emotions that we tend to keep under wraps, afraid to show who we really are.  Observe and allow whatever you are feeling to be, but hold that part of you as the calm in the storm.   

What you may need to say or experience to those lost parts of yourself is entirely personal, but once you begin to feel centered, a conversation might look something like this:  “Hello, my Love.  It has been too long.”  I have missed you.” “I am so very sorry that I ignored you for so long.”  “I love you.”   “I will never neglect you again.”  “Can we find a way to be fully integrated/together?”  Stay with that part of yourself until you do feel a sense of integration.  Be prepared to come back to this aspect of self regularly for a while – it takes time to heal a rift that may have been years in the making.  Plus, loving and accepting ourselves should be daily practice.  When you have come to the place where you feel those previously suppressed and forgotten parts of who you were once again as who you are, you will not only feel a deeper sense of wholeness and empowerment, but you will fall in love with yourself in a way that you may not have even known was possible.  And that is a beautiful thing. 

We must learn to accept and love each aspect of our history – and ourself.✨

Today, I hope that you will find time to pull the lid off of those parts of yourself that you have suppressed and repressed for too long.  Give them some love and attention, and gratitude for being vital aspects of yourself; of what has gotten you to where you are today, and begin working towards full integration.  Feel that beautiful complexity from your toes to your fingertips, and into the fullest expression of who you truly are.  You deserve it.

Big love. 💖

  • Terah

Reincarnation Reevaluation

by Terah Drake, posted in Uncategorized

It is estimated that just over half the world believes in reincarnation. Buddhists, Hindus, Sikhs, and Jainists all believe that our souls are eternal and keep incarnating in new bodies after we shed the previous skin of a lifetime.  In fact, up to 25% of Christians believe it, as well.  I found it interesting to learn that many philosophers, such as Pythagoras, Plato, and Socrates, also believed in the continued rebirth of the soul.  

From a quantum physics standpoint, energy cannot “die”, but must be transferred or transformed.  A tree becomes a log that is put into a fire to become a flame, to become ash, to become earth, to once again become a tree…

In spite of my own very traditional Christian upbringing, I’ve had a few experiences that have led me to believe that I’ve been around the proverbial block a few times now, too.  I like to think of each lifetime as a school. When we’re a young soul, we get to go to kindergarten and life is pretty easy. We don’t think terribly deeply, and we’re mostly here for a good time, even though we are still learning simple lessons.  

 As we progress through lifetimes/grade levels, things get a little harder, but I think that’s by choice. That maybe before we are born, we choose the classes that we are going to take to best help us grow; to evolve and become Creators in our own right. By the time we’re in “university”, many of us are choosing some really f#cking hard life lessons so that we can achieve exponential growth.  

I don’t know that we all pass every class that we take. Sometimes, we get stuck in victim mentality, or we get drawn into materialism, or those hard lessons cause us to become embittered rather than more compassionate.  Sometimes when we are given the opportunity for growth we allow fear to rule us and we stay stuck rather than advancing.  

Eventually, we shed our mortal coil and we get to go again, perhaps with some encoded memory that we’ve been here before, and hopefully do it a little better next time.  

But over the past couple of years, I’ve started to think that maybe I should be a little more global in my belief system when it comes to reincarnation.  I’m not so sure that it always has to mean that we literally die, go to some other place for reassignment and then come back as another person. 

I think maybe we also reincarnate many times, in one lifetime.  The death may be more metaphoric than literal, but we’ve all been through many experiences where we felt like some part of us died, as with the death of or separation from someone or something (such as a career) we love, or perhaps it is the “death” of some aspect of our identity or ego that we have carried from childhood. In fact, it is said that when someone consider suicide, it is not the whole self that wants to die, but rather some aspect of the ego that long ago stopped serving us.

When we go through these “little deaths”, we may feel that we are in purgatory for a time, and it can be months, or even years before we begin to crawl out of the protective cocoon we have built for ourselves, to learn to fly again. To be reborn, each time a little – or a lot –  of a different person.  

I’ve had a number of such experiences throughout my life; usually following some really frickin’ hard lessons.  I have been through some of these over the past three years or so, but recently found myself in a situation that caused acute emotional pain; asking the question – “WTAF Universe (Unified Field/Source/God/Jah/whatever works for you); this totally sucks.  Why am I getting this lesson AGAIN?  

To be immediately followed with “oh.”  

Because I didn’t learn the first time.  If we fail a test in a particular class in school, if we are lucky and our instructor/teacher/professor takes mercy on us, we can re-take that test. I believe the Universe is infinitely merciful and so we get to take the test over. And sometimes, over, and over…and hopefully, eventually we figure it out. We have our “oh” or “aha” moment.

So the question, when we find ourselves in the same lesson, must be:  “What did I need to learn here?”  Sometimes, with those BIG lessons, it takes a bit of deep work to figure it out.  We have to look at and work through the source of the thought processes that are creating or drawing to us these challenging experiences.  But  as soon as we realize what the lesson was all along, there is this amazing feeling of “aha”, and a knowledge that we just moved up a level.  We shed the heaviness that was connected to what we were holding, and remember that we have wings again.  We re-incarnate, lighter, happier, and excited for the future.  

Of course, there will always be many other lessons to learn, but that particular class is passed, and past.  

What’s especially exciting about the idea of multiple reincarnations within each lifetime; whether they are related to relationships, lack/poverty thinking, victim mentality, low self-value/self love or any other issue or program that has been carried from a flawed or traumatic childhood, is that just like being born into a new body with a new family, many of the old, unhealthy habits and people that were an aspect of that life and vibrational resonance drop away and healthier, happier habits and communities are formed. 

 We learn to set healthy boundaries and care for ourselves better.  New opportunities show up.  We become more deliberate in the creation of our personal reality.  As an additional bonus, being a little further along the path enables us to guide and help others create a happier reality for themselves, too.  We are ripples on a pond, contributing in our own way to the evolution of humanity.  

How cool is that?😎

Have you had this experience?  Have you felt like you have lived many lives in this lifetime?  I’d love to see your stories!

Big love.💖

– Terah

Honoring the Pain in the Process – self growth is f#cking hard!

by Terah Drake, posted in Uncategorized
Evolution ain’t easy…🥶

Let’s start this conversation. Growth is f#cking hard. Painful, in ways.

It can be depressing and overwhelming, initially.  

It may lead to rainbows and unicorns, but know this to be true – we often have to leave the familiar, the Known, and even those people and places that we still love in order to find our path towards peace and freedom.  

That path isn’t easy, either.  I read recently that it is estimated that only 2% of the population choose growth.  This is largely because our primitive brain has not evolved to understand the positive aspects of growth.  

The primitive, or downstairs brain (limbic region and amygdala) has not really evolved in thousands of years, and keeps us “safe” from anything that could potentially be harmful. To the amydala, the unfamiliar is unsafe. The primitive brain tells us to stick to the familiar. The safe. It tells us that we should stay in the cave, and tries to override change by creating neurochemicals that make us feel deeply uncomfortable and even fearful of anything that seems unfamiliar.

It is understandable to want to stay in a place of perceived safety, even if that safety makes us deeply unhappy.

Because sometimes, the path to peace downright sucks. Before we can find joy, the path winds through dark forests and up steep mountains. There will be times when we feel lost. There will be times that we feel we are in darkness, and all that we can see is the step directly in front of us.

We will have to confront those dark parts of ourselves – the skeletons in our closets and monsters under the bed – past trauma, dysfunctional patterns and programs – that we may have avoided our entire lives before. We may endure times of aloneness and even loneliness as we make our way on our very individual path.

We will lose people along the way; those that can not accept the new version of ourselves; or just can’t make the journey.  

It’s hard, and sad, even heartbreaking, sometimes.  

But we also gain new friends and family that more accurately reflect the reality that we consciously choose to live, rather than one that was chosen for us.  Our vibe finds our tribe.🥰

Most importantly, we gain peace in knowing that we have chosen our own path.

Time to fly, babe…

Eventually, that decision will become the best decision we have ever made for ourselves. Our journey through those dark paths leads to bright sunshine and warm seashores. The dense woods become charming paths leading through bright glades and mirror-still pools as our mind’s new programs learn to create new realities.

Even in this upgraded reality, there will still be days that clouds move across the path and feel hard or sad. We may mourn for that which we left behind.

But it is 💯 worth it. I can not overstate that enough.

It is worth every drop of discomfort, every leap into loneliness, every disconcerting, uncomfortable or downright scary experience with those lost parts of ourselves and the hard process of stripping away of old, outdated was of thinking and being.

It is worth the pain. The “fertilizer”, to live a life of freedom as a conscious creator rather than as a slave to the programs and patterns instilled upon us by our parents, caregivers, peers and societal expectations.

If you need evidence of this, look to any human who has begun to live by this new shift in paradigm.  I challenge you to find one person who would go back to the Matrix of our own implanted b.s. 

But it’s still f#king hard. 😖

Did you know that when a caterpillar creates its cocoon, it doesn’t just sprout wings and fly away – it completely dissolves into a black miasma within that cocoon before Re-forming as the beautiful symbol of transformation we all recognize and most of us love? Growth and evolution is much like this.🥶🦋

It may feel like we go through our own period of hibernation and re-forming as we spend more time in “being” and self-examination and less time in “doing”.  

This is also a necessary part of the process.  Just as the caterpillar must quietly dissolve in its cocoon to become something more, we also have to become still and go inside of ourselves in order to dismantle all those faulty and outgrown belief systems.  It may feel like winter.  

There was a study done in which scientists injected Redwood trees with a chemical similar to adrenaline in order to prevent the trees from hibernating over winter.  Every single one of these normally long-living trees died within the year.   

Humans have times when we must metaphorically hibernate, as well, if we are to grow into a new season of flowers and warmth.  

Even having that big-picture understanding that the short term, hard changes will eventually lead to long-term happiness, the process is still hard. So it is important to acknowledge and honor the discomfort and sometimes even pain that happens when we start this journey towards peace.

If you are on this journey, I honor you. I acknowledge the pain you may be going through as those old egoic patterns begin to fall away. As you deconstruct.

If you need support or a shoulder on your journey, know that you are surrounded by love and there are others that will find you on the path.❤️. I am one of them, and am sending huge hugs, care and encouragement along the way.

Big love.💖

– Terah

Into the Chaos

by Terah Drake, posted in Uncategorized

I recently heard an expression – To know your future, look at your present.

This really struck me, and over the next several days, I found myself thinking about all of the ways this is true.  

We can so often gauge the next 5 years of our lives by just looking at how we are getting by right now. For that matter, many of us can look back 10 years and see very little difference between the way we are getting by right now.  

Here’s a statistic that makes me feel especially sad – 95% of people operate from a place of history.   This means that Only 5% of the human population operates from a place of vision and imagination.  From a place of curiosity and growth.

I believe that we are on this planet to learn. To grow. To experience life at its fullest. But how can we be experiencing the fullness of life if we are just repeating the same patterns of 10 years ago?

Where is the adventure, the excitement, the passion in that? Where is the contrast in that?

Sure, it’s true that there is a level of safety and comfort in routine.  In habit.  In the status quo. Change can be frightening and the primitive parts of our brain aren’t hardwired for change.  It is hardwired for safety.  Stay in the cave, stay safe.  Follow the rules, stay safe.  Don’t think for yourself, stay safe.  

We may be able to actively choose the way that we perceive the world, but up to 90% of our daily thoughts are habitual. The human brain is an organic, primitive computer, programmed for survival.  Survival is largely ego-based and the primary objective of this primitive state will always be to seek safety over happiness.  To repeat our history rather than create a dynamic new future.  So the mind keeps us in a feedback loop, re-creating yesterday, the day before, and the day before that.   

Our early childhood programming plays into this, too.  The brain is structured to learn intensely in childhood (2-6 or 7) then hardwire those processes into adulthood. So the Ideas and ideals of our parents and caregivers are passed down through generations, and it is rare that we want to question what is known. 

Mainstream media contributes further to this, hijacking the amygdala (primitive brain) to see the negative or threatening aspects of our reality before we see the good. 

But here’s the thing – if we are not moving or growing for a prolonged period of time, we are stagnant. I know this may feel like a painful truth, but stagnation is just a stone’s throw away from death.

And here’s the crux of this idea – What you do not change, you choose.

I’ll write that again, because it is so, so important.

What you do not change, you choose.  

So the real question becomes; what are you choosing?  Are you choosing to repeat the cycles and programs of your past, or are you redefining your present to create a better future?  Are you allowing the subconscious to rule your emotions and actions based upon patterning that began in childhood?  Are you actively writing your story or allowing someone else’s belief systems to dictate your reality?

Your past does not need to define you.  It does not have to be your future.  

The brain has an amazing ability to re-wire itself (neuroplasticity) through conscious awareness and directed focus to create new neurological programs. This means we must become deeply aware of the direction our thoughts are taking in order to alter the course of our internal dialogue and unconscious bias to change those habits of thinking – to reflect the outer reality that we wish to see rather than the one our past has created. We have to re-evaluate our belief systems to begin laying down new, happier, healthier programs; new ways of being.

This is not necessarily an easy process. Encountering the unfamiliar will always make us feel uncomfortable, and changing those long-held beliefs and hardwired programs will feel frustrating – the amygdala/primitive brain perceives change as a threat and produces stress hormones such as norepinephrine/adrenaline and cortisol to literally make us feel stressed, agitated and frustrated when we try something new.  This chemical release is meant to keep us safe, but it also inhibits our ability to grow.  This process is true of any change we undertake; from learning a new language or skill to healing unhealthy programs from the past. 

 But isn’t changing a life half-lived for a life of conscious creation and happiness worth a little discomfort? 

Rory Vaden, author of “Take the Stairs”, speaks of observing the difference in how buffalo and cows address the frequent storms that come across the mountains of his native state of Colorado.  

Cows, when they sense a storm coming, will turn and run in the opposite direction.  The problem with this is that they often become trapped in the storm, causing distress, injury, and even death – until it blows itself out.  

Buffalo, on the other hand, will wait until the storm crests the mountains, and then charge directly toward the incoming storm.  In this way, they run through the storm rather than getting stuck in it. 

 Our neurological processes can be compared to this.  Most of us just turn tail and run from change, or hunker down and hope the unfamiliar will pass us by.  But here is the super-cool thing about the brain pertaining to our ability to learn and grow – when we choose to go into the chaos/face the “storm” of stress hormones and the feeling of frustration that happens when we begin to examine and address old, outdated ways of thinking, adrenaline becomes acetylcholine; a neurochemical that allows us to go into sustained “focus” mode.  A flow state.  Our curiosity is stimulated.  Acetylcholine allows us to begin to learn new processes and belief systems. When we hold this sustained attention on learning, the brain will “reward” us with a hit of dopamine. 

Just to briefly touch on how this pertains to quantum physics, when we feel good, we draw good to us. We are better able to shape our reality on a quantum level – manipulate particles to create a life of our choosing rather than one of chance and circumstance. 

This also ties into the neurologic phenomenon of “mood follows action”. (“Fake it until you make it”)  We have to step into the storm of frustration that those stress hormones cause in order to move through the chaos and into the feel-good, top-of-the-mountain state of dopamine release.  We have to begin the action of feeling good in order to actually feel good.  When we make a habit of moving into and through the storm, our baseline dopamine levels become higher and the reward we get from learning becomes greater.  

I like to think of this as the “Explorer” phenomenon.  

We travel to a new state to experience a slightly different culture and we get a small hit of dopamine as a reward. We travel to another country such as Ireland or England where the culture is a little different – but still familiar – and we receive a bigger hit of dopamine. We go to rural Africa, India or Indonesia where the culture is vastly different than our previous experience and we have a massive hit of dopamine. I have experienced this myself, many times. I feel more alive when traveling than any other time in large part as a result of this, I am sure.

Just imagine what Magellan, Columbus, Marco Polo or my distant ancestor, Sir Francis Drake; must have experienced upon seeing countries and cultures previously unknown to most of the world must have felt. Wow, right?✨

The neurobiological process of learning and re-programming the mind is just like this. The greater the effort; the bigger the change, the bigger the change, the greater the reward. 🥳

You have the power to create an amazing reality of freedom and joy. I hope that today, you choose to begin shaping that reality into the life of your dreams.

Much love;

  • Terah💖

Self-love, Unbecoming to Become

by Terah Drake, posted in Uncategorized

“The pinnacle of self-love is not ecstasy, it is the heartbreaking process of undoing the life that our unloved self built when we didn’t know better. “

Becoming who we really are begins with learning to love every aspect of our lives – but most importantly, it is learning to love ourselves.  It is an unbecoming of who we were when we didn’t know how to love ourselves.  

It is chaos before order; a difficult and messy unspooling of the heavily bound threads of dysfunction and neglect that we have wound around ourselves, all too often in a cocoon several sizes too small to contain our vast spirit.  But unwind we must before we can step into the fullness of our purpose and truest self; before we can learn to spread our wings and soar. 

Before self-love becomes freedom, it must first be a burden that we carry with minds and hearts just beginning to open to new possibilities.  

We must carry the weight of the anger that we feel towards others for not being treated with the care, love, and respect that we should have asked for all along.  We must carry the weight of anger towards ourselves for what we allowed, often not realizing that there was ever a choice. 

There is the anger for not asking; for not insisting that we were worthy of care and respect. 

For those of us who experienced childhood trauma, this unraveling of emotions is an especially perilous journey, for dragons often lurk in those murky places of our subconscious minds that we fear to tread.  But the journey is a worthy one and the reward of integration with those lost parts of ourselves can not be understated.  

 When we have processed the anger, then comes the heavy grief of time lost – sometimes many years’ worth. 

Eventually, we feel lighter.  We learn to set boundaries and say “No” to those things that are not right for us.  We become deepy accountable to our own self-care and growth; a process that is not an easy one.

At some point, we begin to recognize the truth of the saying that we become the amalgamation of those that we spend the most time with.  And so we learn the painful necessity of cutting away or holding at at careful distance those people and things that have hurt us in the past, or don’t currently serve our highest good.  Sometimes those closest to us decide to grow with us, even if their pace does not match our own.  Sometimes they don’t, and we must make the  difficult decision to allow them to continue their journey on their own, in their own way.  

In the beginning, this can create isolation.  Loneliness.  But as we remove those things in our lives that were creating darkness, light can begin to enter those empty spaces.  Our tribe begins to find us.  We begin to fall in love with not only ourselves, our lives and those souls around us, but we draw in and create close friendships and partnerships that are fulfilling rather than stagnant.  That lift us and allow us to better lift others, in turn. 

We begin to create, or rather, I believe that we learn to consciously collaborate with Source to become the architect of our lives, shaping the fabric of our reality with intention. We learn to see the infinite possibilities within and before us. We find our wings, and begin to soar.

Today and all days, beloved, I want to see you soar. I wish for you the feeling of freedom as you create a life of abundance and beauty. A life of light, and of love.

You deserve it.💖

Much love and big hugs

– Terah

Connecting to our inner child to find authenticity and joy

by Terah Drake, posted in Uncategorized

Our imagination is a wonderful tool for accessing our intuitive wisdom and those deeper parts of ourselves that know the path when our minds or “logic brains” can’t reason something out. I frequently will have visions or mental movies when I am in a state of relaxation that help guide many of the decisions of my life.

Last night while lying in bed, trying to bring my mind into a state of quiet and calm from the sadness and dysregulation I had been feeling, I had a short “mental movie” that helped bring clarity to my feelings as a result of a circumstance in my life that encompasses some incredible depth of feeling from joy to intense pain.

In the vision, I was a young child, maybe four or five years old; standing on a small wooden box or step in front of a tall friend of mine, who was, in the vision, eight years old or so. I was holding a daisy in front of me as an offering to my friend. My expression was quite solemn.

We stood there for a moment, just looking at each other, then my friend kissed my nose and gave me a n encompassing hug.  The scene changed and we became adults.

The element of being a child in this vision is obviously the connection to my innocent self. That little girl is offering a gift of vulnerability to somebody she loves, unsure of whether or not they will accept it and return that love offering.

The Daisy is a symbol of purity and innocence, but interestingly, in Norse mythology it also represents love and new beginnings.  

I woke this morning to open to this passage from the “Sacred Path” book.  The book is meant to be an accompaniment to a deck of guidance cards, but I usually just use the book itself for its native-American sourced wealth of wisdom.  

Today’s lesson echoed the vision that I had last night, speaking of the idea of our inner child being the best guide to losing the illusions of those ego-based parts of ourselves that do not allow us to be vulnerable, playful, authentic, and joyful.

When we can tap into those younger parts of ourselves to remember the sacredness, the joy, the play, and the magic of life, we remember who we really are.  

And that is a beautiful thing.💕✨

Much love and big hugs, today and always.

– Terah

Memento Mori/Into the Chaos

by Terah Drake, posted in Uncategorized

For several years, my (adult) son has gotten a new tattoo each New Year’s Eve.  

The tattoo that he chooses is one that is representative of where he’s at in life, the past year and the one to come.  I personally think this is a really cool way to physically evaluate where you are at and manifest the future you wish to create.  It’s not my way, but I love the idea and that he knows so clearly what is right for him.  

This year he is getting a tattoo of the Memento Mori skull with a Pacific Northwest scene incorporated. 

Momento Mori means “Remember Your Death.” another way of putting this is “Remember that one day, you, too, shall die.”  

This may seem morose or melancholic, but I believe it is a perfect representation and way to begin a new year.  It is a reminder of the preciousness of life.  Incorporating the Pac NW mountains and pine trees is a grounding memento of the home he grew up in.

It got me thinking about how ending one calendar year and beginning another is a bit like a mini-death and rebirth. Personally, if I were going to do a similar tattoo, I might go with “Memento Mori, Memento Vivere” – Remember your Death, Remember to Live.

How often do we spend our days just putting one foot in front of the other without really being here? How many of us aren’t really living but just existing, waiting to die? What if our New Year’s resolution was to really live our best possible lives in 2023?

How would that look for you?  What would you change if you knew you had no limits?  

What steps might you take to move toward the life you would like to be living instead of existing? 

What risks would you take that might make you uncomfortable in the short term but alter your level of joy exponentially in the long term?

Recent studies in Neurobiology show that the old idea of “Be happy and your life will follow” is a flawed philosophy.

The adage “Fake it until you make it” is far more accurate – mood follows action. This is so important that it is worth repeating.

Mood follows action.

Behavior is the control panel of the mind. We have to take the steps that feel uncomfortable and sometimes frightening for the joy to show up.

This means that in order to step into our best possible life, it is often necessary to step away from all that is familiar to us and into the unknown.

It is our safety-based (fear-based) egoic constructs and pre-set survival programming that keeps us locked into stale patterns and an unfulfilled existence.  

This is not only a psychological phenomena based in how we were parented and cared for as children, but also a characteristic of our neurobiology.

When we begin something unfamiliar or new, the brain, being hardwired to survive rather than thrive; to choose safety over success, views things that are not known as “unsafe”.

Because of this primitive biology, the amygdala – the brain’s primitive survival center – will produce stress hormones such as adrenaline and norepinephrine, causing us to feel frustrated and uncomfortable; to give up and go back to the safety of our “cave” or normal life.

This is extra true for any of us over thirty-five years old – unless we are actively learning new things or utilizing practices to grow a better brain, 90% or more of the way we live is the result of the biological structure of the brain’s wiring. Ouch, right?

As a result, anything outside of what is generally familiar to us will feel hard – learning new skills, behaviors or languages, looking for a new career job or hobby, addressing past trauma, going back to school, starting new relationships, traveling to unfamiliar places. Anything new and unfamiliar will likely feel challenging. Difficult. The same chemical processes that keep us “safe” also inhibits us from continuing to grow.

But here’s where “magic” can happen: when we stop avoiding those things that feel uncomfortable or unfamiliar and instead step into the chaos of what may feel like a storm of negative emotion, we will pass through the gates of what is fondly called the “Terror Barrier” and drop into a new neurochemical state.

After the initial dump of adrenaline, if we continue to “ride the wave” of discomfort, our brain begins to produce acetylcholine.

This chemical bypasses the safe zone to bring us into a deeper state of learning, focus and neuroplasticity. Aceylcholine is what is responsible for the feeling of being in a “flow state”. Once we have achieved this state, we have a dopamine release – a feel-good neurochemical reward for creating new neural networks and evolution of who we are.

So cool. 😄😎🤯

It’s like nature and biology created us to largely stay safe. Comfortable. To follow the crowd. But for those intrepid souls who are willing to step into the unknown, to move past the fear, frustration, discomfort and anxiety, new worlds and wonder await.  

An interesting spiritual parallel to this is a scripture from the epistle of Thomas in the scrolls found at Nag Hammadi: 

Fascinating – Exactly like the neural chemical process described above.  Seek/step out of a comfort zone.  Be disturbed/uncomfortable/troubled.  Be astounded and amazed, then the keys to the universe are within your grasp.

For thousands of years, we as a species have left the intrepid exploration to the very few. We have chosen to remain safe, often at the expense of our long-term happiness.  

But I would like to think that we are at a place in our evolution where that access is open to each of us. 

We all have the ability to captain and pilot our own ship to the destiny that we choose, rather than that which society, family, peer groups or just our own fears have chosen for us. 

All we have to do is decide what we want, and step into the unknown with the understanding that the initial response may feel uncomfortable.  Frustrating.  Disturbing.  Like chaos.  But as Moana found out, the other side of that reef is where the whole world lies.🌎✨💫

What will you choose for 2023?  

Happy New Year!🍾🎉🎊

Big hugs and much love.💖

– Terah

Staying connected through life’s storms

by Terah Drake, posted in Uncategorized

Hello, Beautiful.

Are you a lucid dreamer?  Do you find yourself thinking about your dreams during the day?

When we dream, we are every aspect of the dream.  We are the Observer and the Participants.  We are the people in the dream; from the little girl in the candy shop to the old man playing the oboe.  We are the little white terrier who is biting ankles or sitting obediently.  We are every blade of grass, ray of sunshine, shimmering leaf.  

Alot like this, I like to think of people as trees;  from the root system/foundation – our younger years – to the tiptop and outermost branches; our older selves.  But we are also the creatures that call the tree home, as well the caretakers that promote the tree’s optimal growth and beauty.  

There can be days, weeks, and even years when it feels like we are just growing slowly;  waving gently in the breeze while birds and squirrels cavort in the branches.  It occasionally rains or gentle winds cause leaves to drop to the base to become compost, fertilizing the roots and creating more growth.  Just as it should be. 

But sometimes, life brings heavy storms.   The passing of a loved one, divorce, losing friends, or members of our tribe, financial crisis, natural disasters, and moving can all be examples of these storms.  These times inevitably suck major testes, but thi is where things can get also really interesting in a wonderful, awful sort of way.  

Those hurricane-force winds begin shaking not only our branches but the trunk itself, causing what may feel like our entire network of leaves and small branches to fall to the base of our tree. 

This upheaval can begin to clog our roots.  If we have unresolved childhood trauma, the emotional, energetic and psychic blocks that this can cause will compound the problem.

These upheavals can be such a frightening experience.  As a result, all too often, we take on the persona of the birds and squirrels, retreating to the topmost branches or hovering above where it may feel safer but creates even more emotional distance from our root system.  

When we spend too much time in  this place, we may become so disconnected from our foundation that our root system begins to suffocate and rot. If we allow this to continue, we succumb to emotional and physical illness, aging before our time, and a host of other ailments that ultimately, keep us from living our best  possible lives.

But if we remain present through the process – and connected to our inner caretaker –  he will wade into the compost and get to work freeing up the root system to create space; aeration of that heavy load of decaying matter, allowing it to become a kickass fertilizer that supercharges our health and growth, allowing us to become the fullest, most beautiful expression of who we are meant to be.  

But let’s be frank. Who really wants to wade into a swamp of fertilizer? It stinks. It’s thick and sludgy and difficult. 💩

Self-growth is damned  hard, sometimes. Oftentimes. Most times.😬

For me, when those inevitable “storms” come, as they have, hard and fast,  in the past couple of years, “doing the work“ often looks like hours of insomnia in the middle of the night, where my mind insists that I process through much of that fertilizer, both past and present.  It sucks.

 Of course, I have the choice of drinking myself into a stupor, taking a sleeping pill to avoid the 3 AM wake up call or just telling my caretaker to get lost (or f#ck off). 

 It often feels like it would be much easier to take on the Persona of the squirrels and birds, looking down at the narsty mire clogging my roots with a “hellllll naw” attitude. 😳

But here’s where the wonderful part comes in. 

When I make the commitment to face the fears, insecurities, anxieties, and past trauma, I experience revelation that allows me to free up some of the space closest to my foundation, enabling not only better growth, but also a feeling of lightness and freedom that wasn’t there when I went to bed.  I also often get the opportunity to meet lost aspects of myself that I didn’t even know existed, creating greater integration into the fullness of who I am.  (if you are interested in learning more about this, check out IFS therapy. It’s powerful stuff.)

I may have gone to bed feeling bound and heavy, but by the time I have gotten up, had a cup of coffee, and done a little more processing of my nocturnal “work”, it feels like my branches are widespread, open, and shimmering gloriously in the morning light. 

I would like you to also experience this revelation in the times when life feels difficult. You are a beautiful, amazing being of light and deserve to feel happy as often as possible, even when life hits you with challenging storms.  

It may not be easy.  But babe, you are worth the effort. 

Much love.💖

– Terah

Mud to mountains 2 – Fake it until you make it!

by Terah Drake, posted in Uncategorized

Hello gorgeous;

We’ve all heard the adage “Fake it until you make it”.  

This advice can help us to get to the place that we want to be – or cause an emotional trainwreck if we aren’t being honest about where we currently are at the same time.  

Does this sound like a bit of a contradiction? 🤔

In simple terms, we are creatures of habit.  Our brains are vast fields of neurological pathways, and these pathways are the tracks for our physiological, emotional and psychological patterns, conscious and subconscious.  

The route we take to go to work each day is a pathway.  The apple oatmeal and black coffee that we enjoy for breakfast each morning.  The way we respond to our partner, parents or friends when we are joyful and excited – or feeling criticized and devalued.  Our habits of industriousness or sloth.  Our temperament, routines and rituals, tendency to isolate or our extroverted qualities, the way we value others – or ourselves.  

All of these and every other thing we do and think are pathways through the dense field that is our mind and brain matter.  

This is good news because it means when it comes to pulling ourselves out of the mud to begin the trek to the top of the mountain – that place of expansive views, joy, connection and the deliberate creation of our best possible life – it is, more than anything, just an action that we continue practicing until it becomes a habit.  

In the same way that we learn and improve when we practice the piano, painting, a new profession or study habit, picking ourselves up out of the mud to move on to something better after a period of grief, depression, anger or inertia is essentially the same mental action as picking up that paintbrush, textbook or laptop to prune old programs and replace them with new habits and neurological subroutines.  

It might feel uncomfortable, difficult or challenging to begin, but once we practice envisioning a new reality for ourselves – or maybe a new identity would be more appropriate – and we begin to act upon what it is that we wish to see and become, eventually, that vision becomes our new way of being – our new reality.

Imagine • Practice • Do • Become

So what is it, ultimately, that you would like your life to look like in six months?  A year?  Three years?  Five years?  

How would you like to see your personal reality unfold? What would your close relationships look like?

Where would you like to live?  Do you see yourself in a villa by the ocean, living in an urban setting – or maybe a tiny cabin in the woods?

What would you see yourself doing for a living – what do you think or feel that your purpose is?  

What would your income be?

What would you imagine your daily habits being?  Do you go to the gym or run each morning, do you meditate, or sleep in until 10?

How will you change your life?  Whatever you can envision, you can achieve.✨😎

Let me give you an example from a friend/client of mine:

“Rebecca” grew up in a dysfunctional home.  She was taught that her value was in what she did rather than who she was and it was best if she was “seen and not heard”.  

So of course, Rebecca grew up to behave in ways that reflected this value system.  

She neglected her own well being.  She put all of her energy into caring for others.  She withdrew when there was conflict or when she was emotionally uncomfortable.  

She topically believed she had successful relationships, all the while avoiding real intimacy.  

Eventually Rebecca found herself depressed.  She assumed it was just the “pressures of life” and took antidepressants – but while it seemed like she wasn’t really depressed and unable to function anymore, she still didn’t feel emotionally connected to her life. 😓

In fact, she didn’t feel very emotionally connected to anything other than a growing sense of desperation and anger, emotions that she desperately tried to suppress.  

Can you relate to Rebecca’s story so far?  

Eventually, Rebecca began to see a counselor 🥰 who helped her look at childhood patterns that were causing huge blocks in her ability to experience joy, to value herself, to adapt and evolve – and how those patterns were reflected in her current relationships. 

She spent some time grieving for the many years she had neglected to care for the physical and emotional needs and wellness of herself and her inner child as a result of those patterns.  

She learned to reset her vibrational field to allow good to come to her rather than repelling her wishes and dreams due to her subset programs of scarcity and lack of value.

She discovered that she had to learn to self-care and nurture her personal growth, set healthy boundaries with others, and began to prune some of the toxic people who couldn’t accept her boundaries, growth and the radical responsibility for the shaping of her personal reality.  This was a process that was deeply painful but also deeply cathartic.  

Fast forward three years.  Rebecca is living the life that she hadn’t realized she was missing.  She has a truly successful relationship with a partner who enjoys healthy dialogue and honest communication.  This honesty also means intimacy and she understands what real vulnerability and intimacy means.  

She has taken up several hobbies that had interested her in childhood and although she reports that it is sometimes frustrating to not be “better” than she is, she loves the process of learning and slowly gaining skill.  

She had quit her corporate job a couple of years back,  and now works largely from home contracting her skills to large companies.  She loves the freedom this gives her.

She also makes it a point to spend time with friends and family each week to recreate and build personal relationships.  

In short, she has radically turned her life around.  

Rebecca still has occasional days when she feels a little blue.  But knowing that feeling connected, happy and deliberately creating her life is just so much better, she gives herself some grace and space to deeply feel on those days, but also keeps envisioning an ever-expanding future – and joyfully continues to expand into that future.

And you know what?  Rebecca’s blue days will become less and less the more she practices bliss, curating and cultivating the life of her dreams, healthy communication and community with others and most importantly, loving herself into wholeness.   How cool is that?

If Rebecca’s story resonates with you, I’d love to hear your story, too.  How do you lift yourself from the mud after those days that you need to give yourself a little more grace and space to feel deeply and acknowledge those past parts of yourself that might still feel a little broken?  

What habits do you practice that keep your vision clear and ever-expanding and your vibrational field humming at a frequency that allows good to come to you – rather than repelling it with hidden subconscious programs?  

Drop me a comment below!⬇️☺️

And just in case you needed to be reminded today, you are amazing.  You are valuable.   You are a magnificent creation and capable of achieving anything you can dream of, and babe, you are so very loved.🥰

Healing, hugs and much love;

  • Terah💖

Mud to Mountaintops

by Terah Drake, posted in Uncategorized

Hello Beautiful;

How are you feeling today? Are you feeling fabulous and shining bright? If you are on-task and feeling amazing, I see you – you glow, girl!

But maybe today is a little rough. Maybe you are going through an especially difficult period and even the idea of getting out of bed to face the day is a struggle.

If this is where you are today, I also see you. I feel the pain you are going through. I have been there myself, more than a few times – and am sending you so much healing and love.

We all go through times like this. We all experience days that are challenging; days when we feel blue, irritable, or under the weather. Days when we don’t want to adult, and coping is a challenge. Frankly, these days suck – but are a necessary aspect of the human experience and can help us to grow.

There will be times when we come up against challenges, grief, new or unresolved trauma, or sometimes we just hit a wall because we are tired.

But here is a secret that modern society tends to ignore or overlook – if we are to get back to feeling fabulous and creating a joyful, connected life, it is vitally important that we acknowledge and honor our honest feelings on those days when we are struggling with keeping our “spirits up”.

 In the same way that in healthy relationships with others, we validate another’s truth and emotional state, we need to do the same with ourselves in order to move forward and move on to a higher resonance and better vibrational state.

So babe, if you are in the mud today, it’s ok.  Give yourself permission to squish your toes in that gooey mess a little.  Talk to yourself or someone you trust about where you are at and why you are there.  

Allow yourself to cry – tears release stored cortisol in the body, which is why we almost always feel better and lighter after we let go of the negative feelings we may have been holding or hiding, sometimes without even realizing it. 👀

Once you have validated your experience and given yourself time and permission to access and acknowledge the sh#ty aspects of your emotional or physical reality, start looking up again.  

It’s ok and even healthy to be in the mud for a little while but babe, don’t stay there too long.  Remember that our emotional states are neurological pathways that can become trenches and even personality traits when we dwell in them over-long, and ultimately, we go through the shiznit in our present to get to a healthier, happier place in our future, right? 😎🥳✨💫

Stay tuned next post for some tools on finding our way out of the mud once we are ready to start climbing that hill again.  🏔🏔🌄

The views up here are spectacular and beautiful, I can’t wait to give you a hug and a hand up.  You’re going to love it here.🥰

Just in case you had forgotten – you are amazing.  You are worthy.  You are capable, beautiful, valued and so very loved.💖💖💖

  • Terah