Category: Uncategorized

Happy Enough

by Terah Drake, posted in Uncategorized

Let’s talk about relationships. Specifically, wanting to find a partner or companion to be in relationship with.

I love that we are living in a time when there is a tremendous amount of awareness around self-growth, healing past programs and patterns, and becoming fully authentic as individuals, rather than following a collective ideology or belief in who we “should” be.  I teach and promote this in my writing, and help clients to achieve greater levels of happiness and self-satisfaction through various therapeutic approaches.  I believe to “know thyself”  is the most important creed that we can live by.   

More specifically, perhaps that should be a three-part creed – 

  • Know Thyself; know who you are.  
  • Love Thyself; love and accept the beautiful, flawed, growing person that you are. 
  • Be Thyself; be authentic; in integrity with who you are.  

But I’ve noticed that in our desire to grow and evolve, we sometimes have a tendency to take things to an extreme –  we have developed this idea that we need to be “perfect”, especially when it comes to finding and maintaining relationships.   We are being taught that in order to attract the right partner, we have to exemplify all the things that we want to find in our mate – attractiveness, intelligence, kindness, abundance, good health, compassion, and most importantly, our level of happiness. In short, we need to be perfect. 

 I do believe that if we are committed to growth and authenticity, our baseline level of happiness is going to be a whole lot higher than someone who is stuck or stagnant; living a half-life.  But if we are aware, life, hopefully, is evolution rather than perfection. 

If we are in a state of evolution, we are never going to be perfectly healed.  Self awareness is a process of uncovering many, many layers of subconscious mindsets and belief systems.  It’s often when we think we have ourselves figured out that those systems rebel and we may feel like we take a backwards step.  But two steps forward and one back is still forward movement.  

We are never going to be in perfect shape, all the time.  We all have seasons when we might fall off the wagon of good health and exercise for a little while. That’s OK, as long as we eventually get back to caring for our temples as being the incredible vehicles of transportation through this life that they are.  If we don’t have good health, our ability to experience all that life has to offer will be limited. 

We will never be perfectly compassionate, loving, and kind – all of the time.  Like happiness, there can be contributing factors in our ability to be fully present and compassionate with others – Grief over the loss of a loved one, being in a season of necessary introspection, dealing with the myriad challenges and distractions of life, or just because we forgot to eat breakfast and are a little “hangry”. But going back to self-love and healing, if we are in a space of self-acceptance and compassion to ourselves, we are most typically going to be in that space for others, too.  

We are never going to be perfectly happy, all the time.  

There are so many factors that contribute or distract us from our happiness, but when we can come to a place of  loving and accepting ourselves as being beautiful, messy, growing creatures, we can be happy enough to find a partner who is the same.  

We can find someone who will be real with us; who will accept, love, and have grace for who we are at any given moment, knowing that sometimes humans are messy, challenging, and even difficult.  We can be accepted as we are because we are also beautiful, kind, loving, and growing.  We can give our partner the same grace, compassion and understanding, holding space for their own evolutionary process, even when it’s a little messy or uncomfortable.  

When you meet that person – a person – one of your soulmates; let the connection/relationship be what it is.  It may be five minutes, five hours, five days, five months, five years, or a lifetime.  Let it manifest itself the way it was meant to – it has an organic destiny.  This way, if it stays or it leaves, you will be softer.  From having been loved this authentically, souls come into, and return open.  They may sweep through your life for a myriad of reasons.  Let them be who and what they are meant to be. – Nayyirah Waheed

In fact, I believe it is vital for us to have healthy relationships to fully grow and heal. When we are authentic and vulnerable with our partner, we can provide for each other the necessary mirror to better see those blind spots in our personality that we may not be aware of. 

This doesn’t mean we should accept bad treatment in a relationship, of course.  If someone does not match you in treating them with value, respect, and dignity, and is not willing to do the work to heal the core wounds that cause that behavior, we need to take a big step back for our own mental wellness and safety.  It is never our responsibility to heal someone, but in a good relationship that is committed to growth, healing can absolutely happen, together.  It is important for our own self-worth that we have discernment as to what we are attracting and accepting.  

But  if you are in the  space of “I have to be perfect”… to attract the perfect partner… maybe give yourself – and your future mate – a little more wiggle room.  Perfection doesn’t exist.  Hold a little more lightness and space around the idea of who you are, and who you need to be to be in a relationship.  Bring some fun and some joy into the many possibilities that are out there.  You will find that when you create the energetic space of ease, of lightness and of joy around any idea, you also create space for what it is that you need and desire to rush in.✨

Big love💖

– Terah

Green Flags – Seeing the Good

by Terah Drake, posted in Uncategorized

I recently watched a YouTube video by relationship guru #JimmyKnowles from “Jimmy on Relationships” on the topic of “green flags” in people.  In the video, he gave what I felt was an incredibly insightful metaphor on focusing on people with positive traits rather than searching for the negative.  He gave a great metaphor to explain this, pertaining to “Currency Discriminators”.  Currency Discriminators are counterfeit money experts.  Apparently, they rarely spend much time looking at counterfeit bills.  Instead, they spend most of their time becoming so familiar with authentic currency that anything that is fake or false jumps out at them.  They learn what real looks like so they can easily spot a fake.  

Interesting, right?  And so apt for this particular subject. 

Looking for red lights in others seems to be pervasive in our current culture.  Anyone who spends time on social media or watching the news has heard of “toxic” or narcissistic behavior.  There are hundreds or thousands of podcasts, videos and memes that teach us what to look for in order to spot a narcissist or a toxic person. 

The problem is, if we are focusing on or dwelling on the darkness in others, it is impossible for us to be fully in the light, ourselves.  But, if instead of spending so much of our energetic currency looking for red flags in people, we put more focus on looking for and celebrating good people and the beauty and wonder of life in general, the toxic bullsh#t might just fade into the background.  Like feeding the good wolf rather than the evil one, the good that we feed will prevail. 

Where focus goes, energy flows…What we are, we attract.  We are the problem, and the solution. 

When we view the world (and ourselves) through the lens of love, the world begins to look back at us in the same way.  Focusing on the positive traits in ourselves and others brings more positive into our own lives. 

Here are some “Green Lights” to look for in those that we might be considering deepening relationships with.  When we get good at spotting authentic currency, it makes it easier to see and avoid the false and the unhealthy. 

  1. Honesty – They are honest in their word and deed.   Their actions reflect their words.  They have integrity between who they say they are and what they believe  – and how they behave.  Lying is a red flag for serious underlying issues, and a commitment to honesty is the best indicator for future success in relationships. If you can’t trust your partner everything else is pointless – or just won’t be there.
  2. Kindness –  You feel safe around them.  You can be vulnerable with each other.   They make you feel prioritized.  They are consistent.  You should never be confused about where you stand in relationships.  If they hold you in value, they will put in the effort – we prioritize what we value.  
  3. Communication – They communicate openly and honestly.  You can have hard conversations without them shutting down, running away or becoming hostile.  They can communicate their own discomfort with openness and vulnerability. 
  4. Humor/sense of fun –  They are able to hold life lightly.  They don’t take themselves or life too seriously.  They can joke and be silly without being rude.  Having a sense of humor is a huge green flag.  
  5. Open mindedness – They are flexible.  They are willing to approach the unfamiliar and can allow someone to hold a different view or perspective without dismissing or invalidating them.  
  6. Accountability – They have a “repair and rebuild” mentality.  They are able to acknowledge and apologize for their words or actions.  They say “I’m sorry” and genuinely mean it, even if they did not intend to cause pain or unhappiness.  
  7. Empathy – They understand others’ pain.  They are curious about what makes others feel or what they think.   Empathy helps us to feel safe and loved. 
  8. Vulnerability – They connect with themselves and others.  They can communicate how they feel openly and honestly. 
  9. Praise – They celebrate others’ wins.   They can praise others without feeling shame, themselves. 
  10. Growth mindset – They are self-aware.  They have an attitude of gratitude. They are curious about life and have an interest in learning about how to grow and evolve.  If we do not understand our own destructive or sabotaging patterns, we can neither grow or have compassion for others.  This is not about perfection, but a continued expansion into the best version of ourselves.  
  11. They see everyone as equal.   They treat others with value and care, understanding that our differences are our strengths, and our value lies in what makes us individually who we are.  Teamwork makes the dream work!
  12.  They have healthy relationships with others.  They hold healthy relationships with friends, co-workers and family.  They are able to openly display affection and care for those they spend time with.  They get along with a diverse group of people.

No one on the planet is “perfect”, of course. But when we seek out and focus on the good in others – and ourselves – we are creating a better world for everyone.  We teach our children and others to see the good to learn to better  be the good that we wish to create in the world.  

What positive traits do you look for and celebrate in others?

Big love.💖

  • Terah 

Reincarnation Reevaluation

by Terah Drake, posted in Uncategorized

It is estimated that just over half the world believes in reincarnation. Buddhists, Hindus, Sikhs, and Jainists all believe that our souls are eternal and keep incarnating in new bodies after we shed the previous skin of a lifetime.  In fact, up to 25% of Christians believe it, as well.  I found it interesting to learn that many philosophers, such as Pythagoras, Plato, and Socrates, also believed in the continued rebirth of the soul.  

From a quantum physics standpoint, energy cannot “die”, but must be transferred or transformed.  A tree becomes a log that is put into a fire to become a flame, to become ash, to become earth, to once again become a tree…

In spite of my own very traditional Christian upbringing, I’ve had a few experiences that have led me to believe that I’ve been around the proverbial block a few times now, too.  I like to think of each lifetime as a school. When we’re a young soul, we get to go to kindergarten and life is pretty easy. We don’t think terribly deeply, and we’re mostly here for a good time, even though we are still learning simple lessons.  

 As we progress through lifetimes/grade levels, things get a little harder, but I think that’s by choice. That maybe before we are born, we choose the classes that we are going to take to best help us grow; to evolve and become Creators in our own right. By the time we’re in “university”, many of us are choosing some really f#cking hard life lessons so that we can achieve exponential growth.  

I don’t know that we all pass every class that we take. Sometimes, we get stuck in victim mentality, or we get drawn into materialism, or those hard lessons cause us to become embittered rather than more compassionate.  Sometimes when we are given the opportunity for growth we allow fear to rule us and we stay stuck rather than advancing.  

Eventually, we shed our mortal coil and we get to go again, perhaps with some encoded memory that we’ve been here before, and hopefully do it a little better next time.  

But over the past couple of years, I’ve started to think that maybe I should be a little more global in my belief system when it comes to reincarnation.  I’m not so sure that it always has to mean that we literally die, go to some other place for reassignment and then come back as another person. 

I think maybe we also reincarnate many times, in one lifetime.  The death may be more metaphoric than literal, but we’ve all been through many experiences where we felt like some part of us died, as with the death of or separation from someone or something (such as a career) we love, or perhaps it is the “death” of some aspect of our identity or ego that we have carried from childhood. In fact, it is said that when someone consider suicide, it is not the whole self that wants to die, but rather some aspect of the ego that long ago stopped serving us.

When we go through these “little deaths”, we may feel that we are in purgatory for a time, and it can be months, or even years before we begin to crawl out of the protective cocoon we have built for ourselves, to learn to fly again. To be reborn, each time a little – or a lot –  of a different person.  

I’ve had a number of such experiences throughout my life; usually following some really frickin’ hard lessons.  I have been through some of these over the past three years or so, but recently found myself in a situation that caused acute emotional pain; asking the question – “WTAF Universe (Unified Field/Source/God/Jah/whatever works for you); this totally sucks.  Why am I getting this lesson AGAIN?  

To be immediately followed with “oh.”  

Because I didn’t learn the first time.  If we fail a test in a particular class in school, if we are lucky and our instructor/teacher/professor takes mercy on us, we can re-take that test. I believe the Universe is infinitely merciful and so we get to take the test over. And sometimes, over, and over…and hopefully, eventually we figure it out. We have our “oh” or “aha” moment.

So the question, when we find ourselves in the same lesson, must be:  “What did I need to learn here?”  Sometimes, with those BIG lessons, it takes a bit of deep work to figure it out.  We have to look at and work through the source of the thought processes that are creating or drawing to us these challenging experiences.  But  as soon as we realize what the lesson was all along, there is this amazing feeling of “aha”, and a knowledge that we just moved up a level.  We shed the heaviness that was connected to what we were holding, and remember that we have wings again.  We re-incarnate, lighter, happier, and excited for the future.  

Of course, there will always be many other lessons to learn, but that particular class is passed, and past.  

What’s especially exciting about the idea of multiple reincarnations within each lifetime; whether they are related to relationships, lack/poverty thinking, victim mentality, low self-value/self love or any other issue or program that has been carried from a flawed or traumatic childhood, is that just like being born into a new body with a new family, many of the old, unhealthy habits and people that were an aspect of that life and vibrational resonance drop away and healthier, happier habits and communities are formed. 

 We learn to set healthy boundaries and care for ourselves better.  New opportunities show up.  We become more deliberate in the creation of our personal reality.  As an additional bonus, being a little further along the path enables us to guide and help others create a happier reality for themselves, too.  We are ripples on a pond, contributing in our own way to the evolution of humanity.  

How cool is that?😎

Have you had this experience?  Have you felt like you have lived many lives in this lifetime?  I’d love to see your stories!

Big love.💖

– Terah

The Hermit’s Purpose

by Terah Drake, posted in Uncategorized

The Hermit carries a staff to represent the journey into the self. The light is consciousness; the illumination that happens when we let go of external distractions and pursue our highest self.

I came across a video this morning in which a preacher was talking about those seasons in our lives that we feel isolated, removed from much of life.  He said it was in those times that God has separated us in order to give us time without distraction to learn to listen better, to grow more, and to put us on our best path. 

I resonated with the overall idea of the message. We all have seasons where we need to step back, reassess, and learn to redirect our energies to better reflect a new, hopefully healthier way of being.

Tbh, the religious aspect of the message was harder to swallow. The typically religious idea of God being a male entity who sits in the heavens judging people, ready to bring about the end of the world in fire and brimstone any day now.  Humans create that bullsh#t. 

My belief is that whatever the higher intelligence that we humans call “God” is something so much more vast than we could possibly conceive of – the vastness of the unified field . In quantum physics, the Unified Field is the non-visible field of information of All That Is and every dancing molecule can connect. The fabric of reality, if you will; A cosmic force; an intelligence that is in every single atom of existence. The direct experience of this connecting force is available to us every moment, if we just slow down enough to listen.

The problem is, we more often choose to see ourselves as separate.  We don’t take the time to tune in to the highest part of ourselves; the part of our Self that is always connected to all the wisdom, the magic, and the love of All That Is. The governments and ultra wealthy of the world that hold power tend to perpetuate this idea so that we remain passive, suppressed and repressing our personal power.  As a result, we live in a state confusion, of dis-ease, of un-healing and resign ourselves to a life where we feel powerless and distracted, a victim of our circumstance rather than a deliberate creator.😞. 

This is where the idea of the Hermit – being deliberately removed and/or isolated from all that distraction – comes in.  Did you know that when a caterpillar builds his cocoon, he doesn’t just sprout wings and fly away as a butterfly?  He (or she) completely dissolves into a dark miasma of DNA slime, and rebuilds itself DNA strand by strand, to become the gorgeous (and apt) symbol of transformation that most of us love.  

The Blue Morpho is one of the largest – and rarest – of butterflies; the only species of butterfly to appear blue. 

Sometimes, if we are lucky, the Universe conspires to give us just such an opportunity; to remove us from those distractions, external voices and influences that keep us from breaking down those old, unhealthy parts of ourselves to heal from hurts and wounds from the past that we may have been using distractions or coping mechanisms to mask. 

Like the caterpillar, we have to take ourselves out of our current environments in order to heal. To better connect to and receive the wisdom of our higher Self and the Field. When we have connected with All That Is, we are better able to co-create this reality. We learn to discover our own magic and shape this reality to a creation that makes us happy and satisfied.

Whether it is by deliberate choice or by circumstance, we are given the opportunity to learn to become quiet to listen.  To become still, to better hear the wisdom that was always there, just waiting for us to tune in.  This process can feel difficult and lonely at times, but the more we learn to value and appreciate ourselves, the more we enjoy the experience of our own company – and that of Source.  

When we finally do emerge from what may have felt like exile, we just might be unrecognizable from the person we were when we went entered.  As a result, we might lose people that we have known for ages, if we no longer resonate in the same frequency that they have remained in.  But eventually we draw those folks who are more aligned with this healed and upgraded version of ourselves.

On the other side of our isolation is also peace.  Better health.  Greater energy, creativity, intuition, emotional intelligence, and an ability to step out of the “victim” mentality to  take accountability for every aspect of our lives, enabling us to self-create a life tha draws to us those people and circumstances that more accurately reflect who we have become.  

And that can only be a good thing, right?  

Big love.💖

  • Terah

Safari of the self – finding authenticity and empowerment through integration

by Terah Drake, posted in Uncategorized
The journey to the Self is through the Self.

Know Thyself.   –  Maxim inscribed upon the Temple of Apollo, Delphi.

Plato interpreted this philosophic maxim to mean “Know your soul.”  

Do you feel that you know your Self with a captital S – your soul?  Do you feel solid and whole in who you are, at your core?   We are meant to be complex, multi-dimensional beings.  When we are whole, we are our most authentic Self; in touch with our highest Self, we are in touch with our child-like nature – our curiosity, sense of fun, possibility, and adventure.  We are able to enjoy pleasure like an embodied, divine being, but also to take radical responsibility for the creation of our lives; to sit down and get sh#t done when it is necessary, like a grown-ass man or woman.  But being integrated isn’t always natural or easy.

Recently, I enjoyed an evening out with one of my oldest friends.  You know those friends that you love on first sight, and know that regardless of time or distance, you just know that you will be friends for life?  She’s one of those.  🥰  We were discussing who we were as kids compared to now.  Once upon a time, she was a badass gangsta with a gorgeous, wicked temper and a propensity to put the hurt on anyone who so much as looked at her beautiful self the wrong way, but now, as an adult working mom she felt she had to become “tame” and as a result, boring. She said she occasionally felt a stirring of that girl inside her, but suppressed that aspect of her Self because she felt that part of her personality would have a negative impact on her personal and professional life.

She had made her career and children her priority, and had stopped living fully or authentically.  She had a wonderful relationship with her kids, but felt limited socially.   She lost her ability to have fun.  She became anxious and disempowered, and badly wanted to reclaim those parts of herself that allowed her to feel a deep sense of joy and satisfaction of life.

I have many friends who feel this way.  One dimensional.  They have no concept of being in touch with their “inner child”, their vulnerability, or their sensuality, because growing up means you have to be a responsible, reliable adult, right?  

As women, we especially need to hold a piece of ourselves as that badass gangsta warrior woman.  Not an imbalance – she needs to be tempered with compassion, empathy, love and nurturing, but this part of ourselves is where we gain our strength, our power, and when necessary, that momma bear that could tear someone apart with a flick of a wrist if her cubs or loved ones were threatened.  This part of ourselves is also often associated with our sensuality, another piece of our Self that is often either suppressed or overindulged.  We are meant to be sensual creatures – it is an aspect of our biology, after all, but that does not mean we have to overly sexualize ourselves to gain value from men, just as repressing the beauty and sexuality of who we are to be “taken seriously” is an imbalance of our authenticity and this imbalance can result in creating a life of loneliness or feeling less-than.  

I did not lose myself all at once.  I rubbed out my face over the years washing away my pain, the same way carvings on stone are worn down by water.  – Amy Tan

Most of us are taught to suppress our “fullness” from a young age.  We begin to rub parts ourselves away because we want to feel accepted or loved.  We want to “fit in”.  This is perfectly natural, of course.  It is a vital aspect of our DNA to seek connection, companionship and even acceptance of those around us.  We are at our best when we have meaningful connection with others.  When we have loving, supportive partners, family, friends and community.   

The problem is, like my friend, in seeking that approval and acceptance, it can be too easy to go too far to one end of the spectrum of our personalities, closing the door to our complexity, to our ability to express ourselves, or even feel deeply. We become disempowered when we allow others to dictate who we are, though this often happens by degrees, without really even knowing that it is happening.  Has happened. 

We become one-dimensional when we are meant to be multi-dimensional beings.  When we suppress parts of who we are, those parts are like children who are lacking love and attention.  They want to be acknowledged and integrated, and will do whatever it takes to receive the acknowledgment they need, but often in ways that impact us negatively.  Those subconscious parts of ourselves will act out in the form of regression, depression, isolation, dysregulation/overly emotional or angry responses, self-sabotage, or even unexpected violence.   We end up feeling overwhelmed or imbalanced.

Seek not outside of yourself; Heaven is within.  – Mary Lou Cook 

You are a gorgeous, multi-faceted individual who deserves to love every piece of who you are; mind, body and soul.  One of the most important aspects of feeling whole; of good mental health and happiness is acknowledging, embracing, and integrating every aspect of our Self.  We should have access to a sense of our inner child at various stages, our moody or mouthy teen, even the bright-eyed and curious college-age “kid” who we may have thought we grew out of decades ago.  

The following exercises can help you to access lost parts of yourself.  Many,  if not all will likely feel strange, uncomfortable, or emotional for a bit.  Stay with it.  I promise you will experience a shift that can be profound, if you do.  Most of us do not feel truly worthy of love, and part of this is because we spend so much of our lives rejecting those lost parts of ourselves. 

Inner Child Exercise: Find a photo of you as a child.  Hold that photo in your left hand and place your right hand on your heart.  Gaze at the photo, feel the connection between who you are now and who you were then.  Tell that child that you love her.  Do this daily, preferably when you wake and right before bed, when your mind is in a relaxed state.  (Theta brain wave)

Physical touch Exercise:  Give yourself a hug.  Say “Thank you, I love you.”  Stay in this position until you feel a sense of love and appreciation.  Alternatively, place one hand on your heart, one on your navel just below your belly button.  Close your eyes and repeat “Thank you, I love you.’  

Mirror Exercise:  Look at yourself in the mirror.  Really look.  Find three things that you like and admire about your face.  Say it aloud, then follow with –  “I love you.”  

Visual Affirmation Exercise: Write love notes to yourself such as “I love you.”  “You are beautiful/intelligent/worthy/capable, etc.” “I love the way we play.” Or I appreciate our curiosity/sensuality/childlike nature, etc.”  

Deep Inner Work Exercise:  Find a place to get quiet.  Come into your breath, spend some time just observing the slow inflow and outflow of breath from your lungs and nose.   When you feel quiet, ask yourself the question – what aspects of You have you repressed?  Who wants to be heard and have a conversation?  When you have a sense of what part(s) of your Self need to have some attention, whether it is your inner child, your powerful warrior,  your sensual being, or any other aspect of personality that you may have ignored or suppressed, it is time to have a conversation.  Don’t be surprised if you feel some negative energy.  You may feel a little queasy, frightened, frustrated, angry – or a host of other emotions that we tend to keep under wraps, afraid to show who we really are.  Observe and allow whatever you are feeling to be, but hold that part of you as the calm in the storm.   

What you may need to say or experience to those lost parts of yourself is entirely personal, but once you begin to feel centered, a conversation might look something like this:  “Hello, my Love.  It has been too long.”  I have missed you.” “I am so very sorry that I ignored you for so long.”  “I love you.”   “I will never neglect you again.”  “Can we find a way to be fully integrated/together?”  Stay with that part of yourself until you do feel a sense of integration.  Be prepared to come back to this aspect of self regularly for a while – it takes time to heal a rift that may have been years in the making.  Plus, loving and accepting ourselves should be daily practice. 

When you have come to the place where you feel those previously suppressed and forgotten parts of who you were once again as who you are, you will not only feel a deeper sense of wholeness and empowerment, but you will fall in love with yourself in a way that you may not have even known was possible.  And that is a beautiful thing. 

Today, I hope that you will find time to pull the lid off of those parts of yourself that you have suppressed and repressed for too long.  Give them some love and attention, and gratitude for being vital aspects of yourself; of what has gotten you to where you are today, and begin working towards full integration.  Feel that beautiful complexity from your toes to your fingertips, and into the fullest expression of who you truly are.  You deserve it.

Big love. ❤️ 

  • Terah

We Break Ourselves

by Terah Drake, posted in Uncategorized

This one may be a hard pill to swallow.  If you find yourself reacting to these words, there just might be a reason for your response- but please read to the end to understand the full concept.💙

We break ourselves.

We want to believe, as we get older and begin to give up on the idea of happiness, of abundance, of wholeness, that we have gotten to this point of embitterment because “life” has made us this way.  We blame our exes, our environment, our childhood, our career – or anything else except ourselves – that we have lost faith in life.  Lost hope in the idea of happiness.  Of love.  

But the truth is, the idea of “fault” is a lie.  

There is no fault in any aspect of our lives; only programs and belief systems that began before most of us can even remember.   As children, most of us are in some way exposed to people or environments that teach us that we will be disappointed with life.  

Our parents don’t know how to show us unconditional love, because they weren’t taught, themselves. So we grow up not knowing or understanding how to love others – or ourselves, well. 

 Our well-meaning grandparents teach us to “stay in our lane”; to be a plumber instead of an astronaut, a receptionist instead of a ballerina, a doctor or lawyer instead of a creative genius who invents, or paints, or builds worlds in video games for a living.  

We feel the disapproval of the adults in our lives when we try to explore beyond the boundaries of the world that is safe and familiar to those around us, so we stop exploring and stop expecting amazing things to happen for us.  

Or perhaps our parents had “lack” mentality, so we grow up with a poverty mindset;  spending every dime and farthing we get because some part of us believes there will never be enough.  

We carry these programmed beliefs systems; this neurological wiring, into adulthood.  Our primitive brain, the amygdala, takes this wiring and creates a map for us to follow; conceivably until we die.

We get the degree or the job/career our families expect and replace simulation with safety.  

We marry the “easy” partner, and replace passion, authenticity, and adventure with approval and comfort.  It seems  better to have the perceived acceptance of our families and our society than take the chance on those things that feel unfamiliar.  

Or, if we have abandonment issues because we had emotionally unavailable caregivers as children, we repeat those neurological programs that tell us that we will always be disappointed with those we care for.   

We spend our entire lives attracting to us those people and experiences that will enforce ourlearned “truths”.  We find personal relationships with others that have similar wounds and play out the cycle again and again, until we finally figure it out and begin to allow ourselves to be in safe relationships where we can find real intimacy and vulnerability.  

Or we don’t.  And we wonder why depression and anxiety are rampant…

I believe what this scripture means is that when we seek the approval of the world and those around us rather than our own knowing, we lose pieces of our soul with every decision that is based upon someone else’s experience and understanding.

The problem is, often these unhealthy and even harmful behaviors lead us to hold depression and shame because we can’t “get it right”; fill in the blank for whatever “it” seems appropriate for you. 

The shame keeps us from acknowledging the very programs that we could rewire, if only we were willing to take a deep dive into the root of those subconscious processes. This shame gets “triggered” by what we might perceive as someone else’s disapproval or judgement and we go right back into those self-sabotaging behaviors and beliefs.  And so the cycle continues, perpetuating itself, Ad infinitim.  

But it is when we begin to have curiosity about and take radical responsibility for every behavior, decision and action that may be inhibiting our growth or happiness that we are able to actually start to create a life of personal authenticity and happiness; a life based upon who we are as individuals rather than what our childhood taught us to believe about ourselves, reality, and what is truly possible.  

Artist: Yusupova Jema

I’ve said it before because it’s true – the process can be incredibly difficult; even painful.  It’s deciding to take the red pill.   Sometimes we have to tear apart a life that is unsatisfactory in order to build a foundation based upon a healthier belief system.  It can get messy. We may lose people, careers, and lifestyles either for a little while – or forever –  because we become unfamiliar to those past realities.  We no longer have the similar behaviors and beliefs that kept you connected.  People will often fear or resent your growth.  It can get lonely, for a bit.

But those that truly want us to be happy will support you on your journey, and we begin to attract others who more accurately reflect your newfound authenticity.  Perhaps just as importantly, you will begin to enjoy your own company.  As you unearth lost parts of yourself, you might even begin to fall in love with those parts of your identity that you had forgotten.🥰

Growth can be frightening.  Your primitive, survival-based brain will literally produce hormones – neurochemicals – that will make you fearful, frustrated, and uncomfortable when you begin to move out of old, outdated ways of thinking and being.  Most will never even start the process.  It’s “easier” to live a life of survival or complacency.

But if you are still reading this, there must be some part of you that dreams bigger.  That wants to live a life that feels like living rather than waiting until death finds you.  Maybe you have already begun thinking of the possibility of happiness; of creating a life of connection and fulfillment.  If you are, beautiful one, I hope you can believe that you deserve it.  Truly.  We all do. 

 If you have begun or are ready to confront the “monsters under the bed” of your outdated or faulty subconscious processes, I am so proud of you.  It might feel frightening or discouraging at times, but you will get the other side with a greater capacity for growth and creation than perhaps you would have imagined.  I wish you the greatest joy and a life that feels on-purpose – and I hope I will be there with you as you take that journey into the unknown.  

Big love.💖

  • Terah 

Big Love in the Big Easy

by Terah Drake, posted in Uncategorized

Quintessence. The intrinsic value or character of something. This is what I want to experience when I travel, and what I try to capture in photographs. I want to share the essence of a place with folks back home and beyond. This week, I am having a working vacation in New Orleans, having gotten an amazing last minute deal on a condo in the French Quarter. I write and take classes in the morning and head out to explore right after. I could easily make this a permanent lifestyle…😁

New Orleans is the most colorful, interesting place I’ve visited in the US – and possibly abroad as well. It has this strange and wonderful energy that is either incredibly vital – vibrantly alive – or in the process of decay. There doesn’t seem to be a whole lot of in between, and this phenomenon seems to extend to nearly everything and everyone here. Every day is fascinating.

One of my favorite and most quintessential moments in the Big Easy was a few years back on my first visit here. My family and I were waiting on a street corner of a four-way street for the guide of a ghost tour who was a bit late, as seems to be common in all southerly regions. Things just move a little slower. But as we stood there, enjoying the wild and vibrant world of the French Quarter, a small impromptu parade came through. There were drag queens, a couple of guys playing jazz on horns, people on gussied-up bicycles, and one very old lady on a unicycle, dressed in a tutu and tiara. Following this colorful group was a very tall, broad african-American man, chuckling and shaking his head. As he passed us, he shouted out “Only in N’awlins, y’all, only in N’awlins.” Quintessence, indeed.✨.

Today after finishing classes, I wandered down to Decauter for brunch at #frenchtoastnola to enjoy a ratatouille omelette with Provençal potatoes and of course, a very large café au lait.

After a long walk through the quarter and along the canal, I enjoyed beignets from Café du Monde by the Mississippi, watching the riverboats and the colorful characters that abound, shared a secret with a talkative sculpture, watched another capture the sun, did some fun shopping, had an impromptu facial with an esthetician who told me I was the most unique person she had ever met. (Says the woman living in arguably the most unique city in the world…) But I kinda liked it.

Quintessential New Orleans – Riverboats, Beignets and coffee from Café Du Monde.

At the recommendation of said esthetician I had dinner at a local, award-winning Thai restaurant; #thaiheyneworleans . They had the most incredibly aesthetic – and unique – presentation of spicy eggplant and tofu I’ve ever seen. So good, especially enjoyed in such a fabulous environment, sitting at a sidewalk table on the bustling and fun Decauter Street. I also did a “haunted history” tour late evening and took the obligatory stroll down the wild scene that is Bourbon Street after dark. Strip clubs, sugar-laden alcohol, college kids and pickpockets is not really my vibe but everyone visiting should experience it at least once, even if it’s just on a one-time stroll-through to see the sights.

But, lean in if you want to know my absolute favorite part of the day. Not really quintessential N’awlins, but so special:

There are Buddhist monks wandering all over the French quarter, “giving” mala and Buddha necklaces. I am well aware of the technique. The Zoroastrians began it in the 70s – it’s based on an essential human trait – the law of reciprocity. We aren’t neurologically structured to receive something without giving in return. So we give, even though we don’t really want or need whatever it is we’ve been “gifted”.

It’s a gimmick and I get that it’s better than begging for alms, but I still don’t love the way they often pressure people into “donating” large amounts of money. Feels opposite what a monk should be, to me.

But this one particular older monk just felt so sweet and genuine that I stopped for him, allowing him to give me a blessing as he put this golden buddha necklace over my head and a mala bracelet on my wrist. I gave him cash without the high pressure “$60 donation” spiel and we chatted for a moment. As we parted, he gave me the biggest hug and said “I love you.” I returned his blessing and love. it was such a beautiful moment.🥰.

Red string and “gifted” Buddha necklace, chatting with a new friend.😉

What was particularly interesting about this is that the “blessing” I had silently asked for was love. Not necessarily romantic love, because goodness knows there hasn’t been a whole lotta romance happening in my bubble these days…🙄but rather, to have an amazing day where I could share love with those that I already know or those that I met. It’s cheesy, I know, but it’s who I am. 🤷‍♀️. I believe the essential nature of the Universe is love, and any time we can tap into that, We are also tapping into our own Divine nature in a powerful way.

A few minutes after my monk meetup, I was approached by a homeless man who asked for a dollar. I gave him the remainder of my cash with a warm handshake and he held my hand and my gaze for a moment before saying “I love you”.

Later, the esthetician told me multiple times that she “absolutely loved me” as we spoke about life and reality.

I also got to share a little of my trip and some extra love with friends and my kids – and a lot of non-verbal caring with most of the people I met over the course of the day. So, blessing fulfilled.

In the song “What a Wonderful World”, Louis Armstrong sings “I see friends shaking hands, saying, how do you do. They are really saying I love you.” I feel that.🥰. Did you know that he was from New Orleans? Seems appropriate, doesn’t it?

Big love from the Big Easy.💖

Co-creation = Go-creation (Do the work and the Universe opens the doors)

by Terah Drake, posted in Uncategorized

It amazes me how often reality shifts in exactly the right direction when we make the decision to consciously create – or co-create – a fun and meaningful existence.

Occasionally, we have to do some major internal housecleaning In order to stay on-purpose with this, but just like anything, when we do the work to be as much the fullest expression of who we were meant to be, the Universe unfolds to create doors where we thought the windows were closed and sometimes creates fields of daisies and perfect pathways where we would have sworn there were walls or at least a thicket of thorns.

How often do we exchange distraction for living?

I booked a last-minute trip to the Oregon Coast last week for a variety of reasons; ranging from late autumn and winter being my favorite time to be on the coast, and the timing worked out well with being able to find sitters for my critters.

I also knew that I needed someplace quiet to clear my mind, to literally put my brain in a different point of reference (one of the reasons I love travel) and try to work past the writers block I have been experiencing for the first time, possibly in my life, over these last few months. To get to the heart, so to speak, of why I find myself avoiding sitting down to do something that normally feels incredibly important and easy to me.

Haystack Rock, Cannon Beach. 3rd largest intertidal monolith in the world!

It took me five days to figure it out. In that time, it has felt like the Universe has given me every green light (literally speaking – it’s been remarkable) and opened every possible door in the most beautiful way, perhaps so that I could give every worry and anxiety over and just do the work.

I’m not a huge fan of organized religion or the labels that we like to put on such a vast and unknowing idea as Source, or God, or the Unified Field – but I personally like the All That Is, because well, that Intelligence, that Wisdom, that Love, that Creativity – is in every particle of everything that is, right? Is every particle which means we are all part of God.

If I were having a conversation with this Intelligence last week, I imagine it sounding something like this:

“Heya, ATI? You around for a chat?”

“Hello, Terah. Always. What’s on your mind? Though who are we kidding, really- I know exactly what’s on your mind because I am you and vice versa. But let’s hear it out loud, anyway.”

(Trying not to roll my eyes and likely failing) “Well, you already know that writing seems to be not working well for me lately, and I’ve got a couple of books that really should have been at least submitted for editing a while back. I get distracted by a thousand things between weekly classes, clients, housework, yard work, projects that need finishing, bread that “needs” baking, meals to prepare, family, social life and of course, the critters.” And if I’m not doing any of that, I will find any other excuse to avoid doing the one thing that really lights me up and gives me a sense of purpose. I know I should be leaving the distractions and sitting down to work but…it’s not working.

“Wow. That’s a mouthful. I know it’s hard for you to let go of the habit of taking everything on yourself. Do you think maybe you aren’t writing because you are putting too much pressure on yourself? Or maybe, just maybe, you are holding a little too tightly to the reins and need to let go of the pressure, of the overwhelm, and that illusion of control you’ve got going on over there?”

“Uhhh. Maybe?”😶‍🌫️

“Alright. Let’s do this. Hop online, book your fave resort on the coast and I’ll take care of the rest so you can focus on getting your head back in the game and letting go of all of those distractions for a while.”

“But – what about the animals?”

“Done.”

“Thanksgiving week is going to be stupid expensive down there. I’m not paying $600 or more a night, especially when I just had a couple of nearly back-to-back trips.

“Check your email. You will find a “member appreciation” discount.” And btdubs, I’ll make sure you get the upgrades because we both know you like a little luxury to ease the process. A spoonful of sugar and all that…”

#hallmarkresortcannonbeach

“Oh. Ok!” Maybe this will work out! But the weather forecast looks pretty awful except for Monday…”

“I’ve got that covered, too. Now for the love of – well. Me – get packed. Don’t leave everything to last minute.”

Since I’ve been here, the weather has been incredible. The coffee has been perfect, the food – every single meal – has been amazing. The servers I’ve been blessed to have have been so incredibly kind; my breakfast at #thewayfarerrestaurant of avocado toast with poached eggs this morning especially memorable. My waitress made a point to give me the best table with a view available; a large cozy booth that should have sat six rather than one struggling writer. She even sent me off with a cup of Sleepy Monk coffee for my walk down the beach, on the house. 🥰

#insomniacoffee #sleepymonkcoffee – my two local faves.

I lost sight of myself and my work because I was overwhelmed with the “stuff”. With the increasing pressure I put on myself. With trying to help and heal everyone and everything, but not taking the time to help myself in the way that I needed it most – to really dig deep to acknowledge that at the heart of my distraction was – fear. Fear that my writing isn’t good enough. Fear that I’ll never reach a wider audience and if I do, fear that I won’t be good enough to help so many people. Fear that if I do birth these books and help many others with their own distractions and doubts, it will get beyond me. I’m just one person in the world and it’s a huge dream.

But this trip was the reminder that I needed that am not just one small person with a big fucking dream. Far from it.

I can’t remember a time in my life of ever feeling lonely, in part because even as a child, I have always had a sense of connection to something greater – though I wasn’t sure exactly what that was. I still don’t have the hubris to believe that I could understand something so vast as what “God” might be, but I do know that I am connected to every particle in the Universe, to every beautiful human who is trying to figure out this reality, and every beautiful human who has already figured out how to shape this reality, to the empty space that is the Unified Field and everything in between.

I see love…💖

But lately, it’s felt like the connection was a little fuzzier; like a bad connection between cell phones. I knew the connection was there but wasn’t getting the whole conversation; creating even greater confusion.

But this trip, I had such a definite sense of something Greater having my back to work out the details, and in a spectacular fashion. It was exactly the catalyst that I needed to not only figure my sh#t out but also finally see a clear path forward to get back to work.

I don’t expect to go home and have all of my projects magically completed, all the meals cooked to my palate and waiting to be savored. The distractions will still be there. The work will still need to be addressed. Contrast will happen. But understanding a few more of my own internal mechanisms and how to work through them should give me the impetus I need to keep my focus where it needs to be.

And on those days that feel a little extra crunchy, I can have a little internal dialogue with The All That Is, and I have a strong feeling that it just might look something like this:

“Sooooo, hey there, ATI? Big Brain?”

“Hi Terah. What’s up?”

“I’m struggling here a bit… I could use a little help in this whole co-creation thing”

(Visually rolls up sleeves with a cosmic grin). “Thought you’d never ask. Let’s get to work.”

Whichever way reality happens to bend and shift; Wherever life goes from there, I am confident that everything is working out exactly as it should be – beautifully. 💕

How do you see the world? Is it working for you, or against you?🤔

Big love.

– Terah💖

Honoring the Pain in the Process – self growth is f#cking hard!

by Terah Drake, posted in Uncategorized
Evolution ain’t easy…🥶

Let’s start this conversation. Growth is f#cking hard. Painful, in ways.

It can be depressing and overwhelming, initially.  

It may lead to rainbows and unicorns, but know this to be true – we often have to leave the familiar, the Known, and even those people and places that we still love in order to find our path towards peace and freedom.  

That path isn’t easy, either.  I read recently that it is estimated that only 2% of the population choose growth.  This is largely because our primitive brain has not evolved to understand the positive aspects of growth.  

The primitive, or downstairs brain (limbic region and amygdala) has not really evolved in thousands of years, and keeps us “safe” from anything that could potentially be harmful. To the amydala, the unfamiliar is unsafe. The primitive brain tells us to stick to the familiar. The safe. It tells us that we should stay in the cave, and tries to override change by creating neurochemicals that make us feel deeply uncomfortable and even fearful of anything that seems unfamiliar.

It is understandable to want to stay in a place of perceived safety, even if that safety makes us deeply unhappy.

Because sometimes, the path to peace downright sucks. Before we can find joy, the path winds through dark forests and up steep mountains. There will be times when we feel lost. There will be times that we feel we are in darkness, and all that we can see is the step directly in front of us.

We will have to confront those dark parts of ourselves – the skeletons in our closets and monsters under the bed – past trauma, dysfunctional patterns and programs – that we may have avoided our entire lives before. We may endure times of aloneness and even loneliness as we make our way on our very individual path.

We will lose people along the way; those that can not accept the new version of ourselves; or just can’t make the journey.  

It’s hard, and sad, even heartbreaking, sometimes.  

But we also gain new friends and family that more accurately reflect the reality that we consciously choose to live, rather than one that was chosen for us.  Our vibe finds our tribe.🥰

Most importantly, we gain peace in knowing that we have chosen our own path.

Time to fly, babe…

Eventually, that decision will become the best decision we have ever made for ourselves. Our journey through those dark paths leads to bright sunshine and warm seashores. The dense woods become charming paths leading through bright glades and mirror-still pools as our mind’s new programs learn to create new realities.

Even in this upgraded reality, there will still be days that clouds move across the path and feel hard or sad. We may mourn for that which we left behind.

But it is 💯 worth it. I can not overstate that enough.

It is worth every drop of discomfort, every leap into loneliness, every disconcerting, uncomfortable or downright scary experience with those lost parts of ourselves and the hard process of stripping away of old, outdated was of thinking and being.

It is worth the pain. The “fertilizer”, to live a life of freedom as a conscious creator rather than as a slave to the programs and patterns instilled upon us by our parents, caregivers, peers and societal expectations.

If you need evidence of this, look to any human who has begun to live by this new shift in paradigm.  I challenge you to find one person who would go back to the Matrix of our own implanted b.s. 

But it’s still f#king hard. 😖

Did you know that when a caterpillar creates its cocoon, it doesn’t just sprout wings and fly away – it completely dissolves into a black miasma within that cocoon before Re-forming as the beautiful symbol of transformation we all recognize and most of us love? Growth and evolution is much like this.🥶🦋

It may feel like we go through our own period of hibernation and re-forming as we spend more time in “being” and self-examination and less time in “doing”.  

This is also a necessary part of the process.  Just as the caterpillar must quietly dissolve in its cocoon to become something more, we also have to become still and go inside of ourselves in order to dismantle all those faulty and outgrown belief systems.  It may feel like winter.  

There was a study done in which scientists injected Redwood trees with a chemical similar to adrenaline in order to prevent the trees from hibernating over winter.  Every single one of these normally long-living trees died within the year.   

Humans have times when we must metaphorically hibernate, as well, if we are to grow into a new season of flowers and warmth.  

Even having that big-picture understanding that the short term, hard changes will eventually lead to long-term happiness, the process is still hard. So it is important to acknowledge and honor the discomfort and sometimes even pain that happens when we start this journey towards peace.

If you are on this journey, I honor you. I acknowledge the pain you may be going through as those old egoic patterns begin to fall away. As you deconstruct.

If you need support or a shoulder on your journey, know that you are surrounded by love and there are others that will find you on the path.❤️. I am one of them, and am sending huge hugs, care and encouragement along the way.

Big love.💖

– Terah

Kindness

by Terah Drake, posted in Uncategorized

It is strange to me how some people can be so physically beautiful but so very ugly inside.

example of exploitive excess…

Most days I try to “post and ghost” to my social media pages.  It is wayyy too easy to get drawn into the rabbit hole and find myself lost in Wonderland for hours.  That dopamine hit is real….but as a rule, my algorithms bring me to pages that are uplifting or educational.  So I stay a little insulated from the ugliness of the social media world. 

But today I got distracted by the photo on a particular story.  It was unexpected and had a great 70’s artistic flair, so I clicked on it to see who the artist/originator was and an hour later shut my phone down, feeling heartsick and shaky.  

The artist was a Hollywood personality.  They were physically beautiful; high cheekbones (implants) full (filled) lips, wide, slightly slanted eyes and so, so thin.  

But  their profile, and every profile that I clicked on that was connected, was filled with pictures of excess, nudity, exploitation, meanness in the guise of “art” towards anyone who was “less than”, and that seemed to be everyone who didn’t come from money or was a member of the society elite, from the blue-collar worker to the very poor.  

It made me incredibly sad to see such meanness from any human – and I know that the poor, blue collar, or middle class are just as capable of cruelty and pettiness as the bourgeoisie and do not in any way believe money is the “root of all evil”, but the extent and scope of this person’s (and the Hollywood elite they were connected to) and lack of empathy towards other humans struck me particularly.

“I want it now!”

I understand the psychology of cruelty.

 A lack of compassion and empathy for others can almost always be traced back to low feelings of self-worth within oneself; likely programmed by parents or caregivers who didn’t know better, themselves.  Too often our parents teach us the lessons of “greater than” and “less than”, because it was what was taught them.   So from an early age, we try to puff ourselves up and make others smaller – because we feel empty and lacking inside. 

I have experienced this in my own life on many different levels.  My own (upper class) grandfather (mother’s father); himself an alcoholic and a deeply unhappy, abusive man, rejected me as a young child because my father was only “middle class” and therefore from the wrong side of the tracks.  Thankfully, my grandmother was not quite so snobbish and loved me unconditionally.  

Ironically, as he lay dying after months of terrible pain from prostate cancer, he took my hand and said “Terah, be good.”  I think I was only 11 or 12 years old at the time, but I could feel the regret and despair in his emotions, and knew that what he was saying was “do better than I did”.  I am not sure that I inherited whatever gene it may be that gives one the predisposition to be cruel, but the lesson definitely stuck and likely influenced my future behaviors and actions. 

Ultimately, cruelty and meanness is ugly, petty, and small. Though superficially, it may make us feel bigger to be “better than”, or feel as though by cutting down or diminishing others we make ourselves more grandiose, but ultimately, this superficial largess is subtractive to our spirit and the deeper self. It is a well that just keeps getting deeper. It disconnects us from others, from nature, from Source, and reality itself.

Conversely, when we tap into our kindness, our courage, our wisdom and love, we are connecting to that deeper aspect of ourselves – our Divine nature, our Sacred Self; our Spirit that is connected to All That Is. We are all cells in a huge body, and no one cell is more important or valuable than another. The king is no more important than the peasant, the merchant no more than the homeless man on the street.

“How do we change the world? One random act of kindness at a time.” – Morgan Freeman

We all have a role to play in this life, but the question is, how are we choosing to play the game? Are we playing with kindness, fairness, and integrity, or are we the mean kid on the playground, pushing everyone else around and caring for no one but ourselves?

At the end of our time on this physical plane of reality, will we have a sense of the kindness we gave in the lovely shared with others, or will we regret the way we live our lives?

Kindness can come from the most unexpected places. And it doesn’t cost a thing.🥰

I don’t personally believe in the idea of hell, but I do believe that some part of us always knows if we are living well, or terrified of dying for what might come beyond.  I believe our minds are capable of creating “hell” for ourselves without the need of a physical place of fire and brimstone; complete with little red men wearing tails and carrying pitchforks…🙄. 

I know when my time comes, I want to know that I lived a life that felt meaningful. That I left the world a little better than when I arrived. That I helped others to love better, to live better, and perhaps to more deeply value the beauty that is this life.

What are your thoughts? I would love to read some other folks’ views on this.  

Big love.💖