Soren Kierkegaard wrote "Once you label me you negate me". We are amazing, complex beings. I do not believe in absolutes, and I definitely don't believe that what we do is the absolute of Who we are. That being said, some of the ingredients that make me the Who that I am: I am a mom of two amazing kids and a number of pets, a rolling stone/traveler, a writer, artist, a yogini/yoga teacher, transformative wellness teacher, 6th degree BB Karate/martial arts instructor, Thai massage therapist/Intuitive Healer. I love helping others to find their happy place, and perhaps most importantly, I am a conscious creator of my reality - and hope that maybe through some of the wisdom and experience I share, you will learn to be, too.✨
We may not realize it, but every moment we are choosing who we are. Hero, Villain or Victim. Eggplant or shining star.
But when we act like a 🍆, it is only too easy to make excuses for our bad behavior, isn’t it?
“I’m in a bad mood because…
– I’m tired.
– I have a headache/stomachache/body ache/allergies, etc…
– My boss/employee/friend/acquaintance/partner/kid doesn’t value me.
– I didn’t get the job/promotion/position I wanted…
I didn’t get my way…
There is always a litany of reasons/excuses why it’s ok for us to be difficult, moody or angry.
These “reasons” allow us to lash out at those closest to us. To be a d#ck to our friends, co-workers or the cashier at the supermarket. To allow a dark cloud to follow us around and confirm all the reasons why we are a victim.
Right about now you might be thinking that I’m kind of a 🍆 for being so harsh, right? 😬
But here’s the thing, babe. The truth often hurts – and it’s not until we take an honest look at our behaviors that we can actually become the person that we want to be rather than the person our past experiences and behaviors dictate we be.
Unfortunately for many of us, our past involved parental figures and peers that made us feel less than capable. Less than valuable. Less than worthy. And so we play out the emotional repercussions these past patterns cause each day by allowing our subconscious to rule our emotions and actions rather than our awareness. But when it comes down to it, most of us would probably choose happiness, light, ease, kindness, and compassion as our key traits rather than being known as an Eyore or an asshole, right?
You choose your behaviors, consciously or unconsciously. The difference between training good behavior in yourself – or not – is whether or not you choose to be conscious or allow your unconscious patterns to dick-tate who you are.
So ask yourself this question: Who do I want to be – a hero, victim, or a villain?
This is your story and you are writing the plot, characters and outcome, my love. You are the hero – or villain (victim) of your own story.
So what are you choosing today?
Are you allowing all of life’s contrasts to shape you into forged steel – or melt you into slag?
Are you allowing that headache/fatigue/negative experience to excuse bad behavior – or are you becoming the hero and shining your amazing light, in spite of your circumstance?
Finding fun trails to hike in the Pacific Northwest Setting my own pace💖
It surprises me how many folks think I’m a little cray cray for my love of solo travel. I’ve heard “Well you certainly are brave” (with the raised eyebrows, of course) or “Are you sure that’s a good idea as a female?” And almost always “Isn’t that dangerous”?
Well, being smart when you travel is necessary for anyone.
Being aware of your surroundings and carrying a little somethin’ that can be used as a weapon if necessary is a good idea. I also believe everyone should have some basic self-defense skills.
I’ve never actually had to use either my skills as a martial artist or the low key travel weapons, but better safe than sorry, right?
Spooky nighttime alleyway, Prague
But when someone actually asks why I travel alone so often, the answer is simple.
Because I like to.
I love finding the road – or path – less traveled.
I like the backstreet noodle shops and underground dance clubs. The out-of-the-way spots that to some might just be a little sketch.
I have been lost – intentionally and unintentionally- in the backstreets of New York, Paris, London, Glasgow, Lisbon, Prague and many other places. Being lost can be both stressful and an amazing adventure, but it is definitely not for everyone.
Incredible views in the Algarve, Portugal
I love setting my own pace. Sometimes that means I’m speed walking or trail running, sometimes I just want to mosey, stopping to smell the roses, sit beneath a tree or the wide open sky and just be.
Do you feel that, too?🚶🏼♀️🏃♀️🌳
I love meeting new people; having conversations with random folks in a quaint café or on a trail. This is harder to do when traveling in company.
I once had an amazing conversation in some random SoCal deli with an older gentleman who was writing the history of African Americans.
Like, the entire frickin’ history. So cool, right?😎.
But that conversation likely would not have happened had I been with company.
I love the quiet of long open stretches of road, being alone with my thoughts – or listening to an audiobook or music, top down and sunlight streaming into the car, stopping as I please in small towns and out-of-the-way hamlets. Or not.
Hiking the Muskeg Juneau AK
I’m not saying that I always want to travel on my own. Having the right company along for life’s journeys can add to the beauty and fun of many experiences, too. 🥰
But I think we get too caught up in the idea of constant company and stimulation. I believe we should all seek solitude and silence – and our own good company and the companionship of Source – as often as possible.
How else can we learn who we are? What other experience besides being on our own and figuring things out when necessary can teach us independent thinking and the value of our own innate capability and intelligence?
Not to mention the fun in finding the road less traveled…😁
Road trippin’ with my girls (Lola and Irma, my vintage Puck and Fiat)
In meditation this morning, I asked myself what I was supposed to be right now. Not Where, because I’m pretty much where I have to be atm. But What.
For the last twenty years or more, I have been a karate teacher, a yoga instructor, a Thai massage-based energy healing therapist, a writer, a coach of sorts, and have owned several small businesses. I’ve been a wife and partner, and most importantly, a mother.
But I have had huge shifts in my life over the last year, in the titles and labels I’ve had since I was a teen.
I stopped teaching altogether as a result of Covid, and have only given massage to close friends and family members. My youngest has spread her wings and left the nest, living three states away. I have continued to write, but honestly, I have put so many other things ahead of my work that I hardly consider myself a writer just now.
So I was looking for the next step of my journey. What do I need to be right now?
The answer came to me almost immediately:
Full Price.
Now that might seem a strange thing to answer myself. Full Price? What even does that mean? For me, though it was unexpected, it made perfect sense.
You see, though I write nearly every day on the power of our thoughts and beliefs in creating reality, I still have times when I struggle with my own value. Times when I believe I am unworthy of good – or even more still, of greatness. I have to remember to give myself love and grace, because some days, it just doesn’t come naturally.
On those days, if I were an item of clothing, I’d be a cute thrift store find; Maybe a handmade, lace-trimmed A-line dress with a fur collar because ya know, even on the bad days, I am cute and pretty darned smart.
But I certainly wouldn’t be a full-priced, tailor-made Yves Saint Laurent women’s tux or fabulous sequined disco romper straight from the design floor. Not a chance.
This idea of value – or lack thereof – began in a toxic early childhood and continued well into adulthood – as it does for most of us. From about three years old, in the words, actions, and punishments of my parental figures, I was taught that I was deeply flawed and lacked value, as I was simultaneously asked to make myself small.
“Don’t shine too bright.”
“Don’t speak your truth.”
“Who do you think you are?”
“Getting a little ahead of yourself (big for your britches) aren’t you?”
“Don’t achieve or you will make others feel bad” (“Let’s not tell anyone about these high test scores/grades/awards”). …
These are literally things people closest to me have said over the years, but how many others can relate to any of these ideas and values?
This isn’t just a dynamic within my family, this is a societal flaw. Our media, religions and politicians teach us to stay in our place. To be “meek”. “Lowly”. To “hope for the best but expect the worst”. We celebrate mediocrity and punish those that try to fly higher, often without realizing it. Alternatively, we see these images of people living perfect lives and it makes us feel even worse because we aren’t living that amazing life, ourselves. We must really suck, right?
Most of us would say that we would never hold someone we know back from achieving greatness – but here’s an experiment to try – how many times do we scroll through social media, “liking” uplifting or deeply personal posts by celebrities or those that we don’t know – but ignoring those that are posted by someone in our family or social circle? As much as I hate to admit it, I have caught myself doing this, too.
We all know the saying “Familiarity breeds contempt..” But this contempt is based on our own feeling of unworthiness. Our own lack of value. And celebrating the good in someone close to us feels too much like illustrating our own flaws.
But each time we choose not to celebrate another, we are also reinforcing the idea for ourselves that we aren’t deserving; deserving of good, deserving of of achievement, deserving of love, deserving of abundance, deserving of grace.
This idea that we are “less than” has to stop somewhere if we are to get anywhere.
For myself, I perpetuated this flawed belief system into my adulthood with the partners and friendships I chose, the people I surrounded myself with, the choices I made and in the way I treated myself.
These relationships and choices supported my belief in my own “less-ness”, but at some level I knew that energy builds upon that which is already there, and began to distance myself from toxic relationships and slowly built a belief system that incorporated self-love and supported my value; my muchiness.
It has taken years of therapy and cognitive reprogramming to override those by past entrenched, toxic systems and patterns, and as you can see, still have work to do. Evolution is a constantly evolving process. What makes me most sad today is how much I hated myself for much of my youth and young adulthood.
I know others also struggle with this – and how hard it is to believe that we are worthy, that we are good, that we are valued and valuable, and that we are deserving of every good this world holds.
My meditation this morning reminded me to stop questioning my value and embrace my badassery. So from this moment forward, I am honoring my full-priced value and holding this as my mantra and personal code:
I am a full-priced biznitch. I am a f#cking Goddess, and deserving of every good this world holds.
Can I get an AMEN and HALLELUJAH?
Now let’s get real for a minute – how does that statement make you feel?
Did you feel empowered and excited, or did it make you feel sad because you have a hard time believing it for yourself? Did you feel a little angry or have a moment of “who does she actually think she is?”
Your response to my mantra is the key and clue as to where your own personal value lies.
If you felt sad or angry, my love, I know it may be so very hard to accept or even look at, but those negative responses are the indicator that you hold yourself in such low value that you can not be excited to celebrate another. But we can not hold another in darkness and still be in the light, ourselves.
So let me say this – It is time that you recognize and celebrate your value. That you own your own full-pricedness.
It is time that you put yourself on a pedestal, and honey, you are wearing that fantastic sequined onesie – or whatever the most incredible, fabulous piece that feels absolutely you might be.
You deserve joy. You deserve abundance. You deserve love. You deserve every good that this word holds.
It is said that soon after his enlightenment, the Buddha passed a man on the road who was struck by the extraordinary radiance and peacefulness of his presence.
The man stopped and asked, “My friend, what are you? Are you a celestial being or a God?”
“No,” said the Buddha.
“Well, then, are you some sort of magician or wizard?”
Again the Buddha answered, “No.”
“Are you a man?”
“No.”
“Well my friend, what are you then?”
“I am awake”.
-– Joseph Goldstein and Jack Kornfield, Seeking the Heart of Wisdom
Have you ever thought about the journey to Self as a mathmatical equation?
When we begin the journey of fulfillment, self-expression, and authenticity, we often add to our lives in search of those ideas, people, creative undertakings and things that speak to us personally and feel real to our truest selves. Part of “becoming” is trying out new notions and endeavors, right? We begin to expand as we learn new patterns and ways.
We might take up painting, or cooking, or poetry, or a hundred different creative endeavors that feed our soul. We might make a career change or enter new relationships or even decide to have or adopt a child. We might take up sailing, surfing, or mountaineering for the incredible connection to nature – and ourselves – that we find when we are outdoors.
But as we continue to grow, we also begin to curate our reality. We become more selective about what we bring into our sphere as we discover that the process of self-actualization is equally about subtracting and discarding those things in our lives that no longer serve our highest good.
We discard old belief systems and unhealthy habits.
We discard relationships that don’t support our growth.
We discard the excess accumulation of “stuff”, learning to live happily with those things that most resonatewith our truest selves. Those things that make our cells sing.
In the same way a caterpillar transforms into its gorgeous butterfly self, (it literally digests itself; dissolving its corporal self into a gooey miasma to re-form into the winged symbol of beauty and joy we all love) we let go of those parts of ourself that no longer serve the fullest expression of who we are.
Sometimes, just as I would imagine the transformation of a caterpillar into butterfly must be excruciating, the journey to our truest self can also be uncomfortable or even downright painful. Have you ever tried to learn a new language or instrument with zero previous experience? It can be fun, joyous, even, and exciting, but it is also challenging, frustrating, and hard. This is the reason why so many give up after just short time.
Building new neuralconnections and chemistry is just not an easy process – but if we stay committed to the path, it is very, very worth the end goal. Once we move through the discomfort, through the pruning and culling of that which we don’t really need, the end product – comfort, ease in our being, joy, a sense of purpose, manifestation and ultimately, the continual creation of our best reality.
Where is your journey of transformation taking you? What habits are you letting go of – or creating – today?
I’m currently in the midst of renovations to my home in preparation for putting it on the market in March, along with writing new content daily and continued work on editing my books.
This means time is precious and in short supply.
I want to get the hundred or so projects finished while also packing up some of the extra items that we aren’t using – and finding time to write – but I also want to eat well to supply my body with good nutrition. Because a girl can’t live on coffee alone, as much as I might try…😛
My answer to this is to prepare at least two meals at the same time, and sometimes more if it is convenient.
Today’s brunch was smoked salmon, spinach, avocado and shrimp omelettes topped with hollandaise for brunch, served with green smoothie a keto biscuit with low sugar jelly. So good. 😋
Before I began the omelettes I prepared greens to make the green base for my next few days’ smoothies. I like to use watercress, parsley, mint and cilantro, all great for liver/kidney function. I also throw in several cups of fresh baby kale, a generous chunk of fresh ginger, wheatgrass juice (I juice mine first) a little fresh pressed lemon and orange juice for the vitamin C and some coconut cream for those MCFA’s.
If you haven’t heard of the many, many studies done on the benefits of medium chain fatty acids found in coconut oil from energy to metabolic function, you need to jump on that bandwagon ASAP! ✨✨✨
The fats and vitamin C from the coconut cream and juices also help your body to assimilate all of the amazing nutrients and antioxidants from the greens.
Sometimes I’ll just take a shot of this green mix, but more often I blend it with a few frozen cherries, berries or a little pineapple/mango depending on my mood and where my body is on a given day. I love to toss some hemp hearts in mine too.
As I was already processing greens for the smoothie base, I blended some extra parsley, fresh garlic, avocado, dill, good olive oil, lemon and lime juice to make a sauce for the baked cod I threw in the oven at the same time I was prepping brunch.
I set the cod on a bed of fresh arugula and cauliflower rice, surrounded by baby zucchini and seasoned with garlic salt, lemon, and fresh dill. Easy peasy.
I love that dinner is prepped and ready to go so I can focus on the projects. And I know it’s going to be 💯 amazing, especially topped with the avocado sauce and more fresh shrimp.
What are your mealtime tricks for those days (or weeks) when you are short on time?
You may have noticed from some of my posts – I really love food. Well, let me clarify that. I love good food. Food that is full of flavor, richness, and depth.
But I also know that my body feels best, functions best, and looks its best when I stay within a certain size range. The only time I ever weigh myself is when I go to the doctor’s for a check-up, but I do pay attention to how I feel in my clothes. And if I don’t feel amazing in my ripped skinny jeans, the world just doesn’t shine quite as brightly, know what I mean?
As a result, if I want to fully enjoy the foods I love I am going to have to do one of three things:
1. Exercise wayyyyy more than I have time for, (I walk daily and practice yoga most days)
2. Eat really, really small portions (not really possible with an intermittent fasting lifestyle) or
3. Find ways to make my food delicious, nourishing, and also lighter/low carb.
I choose #3. 💯. Which is as it turns out, is pretty fun. It gives me an opportunity to experiment in the kitchen and be a bit of a mad chemist, something I’ve loved since I started mixing coffee grounds with cough syrup in my grandma’s kitchen around 8 years old. My gran was awesome, btw, always encouraging my crazy ideas.
Tonight’s dinner is a perfect example of this. I had a mad craving for stir fry and rice, but as we all know, rice is a high glycemic food – so as a rule, I try to steer clear. Also tends to be high in arsenic, btw. Yuck, right?😳 But that same grandma who allowed me to play with random ingredients; eventually leading to my love of cooking, also loved to make fluffy white rice for me with lots of butter. Which means it’s a huge comfort food for me to this day.
But when the craving for my favorite comfort food hits me, I soak a few cups of organic brown rice overnight. This helps the kernels to better release nutrients, breaks down saponins, and lessens starch and arsenic. Win-win-win.
But I take it a couple of steps further. Because I just can’t help being a little extra.🤷♀️
In the morning I rinse the rice thoroughly, then add fresh water to an inch or so above the level of the rice. To this I add a ½ tsp. or so salt and two tablespoons coconut oil. Thrive Market has a bomb butter flavored coconut oil, and I looooove me some butter so it’s my go-to. And here’s the magic of this method, and where my mad chemist/scientist starts wringing her hands in glee:
“When you cook coconut oil and rice together, the oil binds to the digestible starch in the rice – that’s the starch that converts to glucose.
Once bound with the oil, the digestible starch begins to crystallize, creating another form of starch: the resistant variety. Researchers found that cooling the rice after cooking it promoted crystallization, leading to a shocking 10 to 15-fold increase in resistant starch compared to normally prepared rice.” – Dave Asprey
Cool, right???? Less digestible starch means less glucose, fewer carbs! The first time I learned this my mind was blown. 🤯.
I boil boil my rice mixture until the water is at the level of the rice, then turn to low and cover. I learned this technique of cooking grains from a wonderful Persian family I lived with over on the east coast. I still miss Mahin’s Fessenjan…🤤 but I digress. This technique shortens the cooking time by a good ten minutes, which is awesome for those of us born without the patience gene. After I have cooked my rice, I refrigerate, then reheat as needed.
Tonight I made fried rice to enjoy with my stir-fry, but because I may or may not – okay, I did – enjoy an impromptu “cheat day” treat – part of a sugary Frappuccino my friendly neighborhood Starbucks barista gave me, free of charge. While running errands, I had stopped for my usual stevia-sweetened iced green tea. The barista had apparently made too many Frappuccino’s for the last customer, so offered the extra one to me. What’s a girl to do? I didn’t want to be rude…
It was delicious, but if I was going to come anywhere near my usual -56 or so grams of carbs per day, I needed to make dinner a little extra extra low glycemic. To do this, I added a package of Shirataki “rice” to my dish, cutting carbs to approximately 15% of a 1-cup serving -and the calories significantly, too.
For my stir fry I just wok every veggie I can find in my fridge with fresh ginger, garlic, tamari, umami paste, sesame seeds, tofu or chicken, and my favorite low glycemic sweeter, monk fruit. Oh, and a generous portion of hot chili paste. The hotter, the better!
This meal was so, so good, but better still, so good for the body. 💪🏻
What do you do when you want to keep your diet light – without sacrificing flavor? I’d love to know!
Are you a morning person or a night owl? Personally, it’s hard for me to get to sleep before midnight, but I love waking up early. For a few years now, I’ve tried to keep to a morning routine that begins my day right and keeps me somewhat structured. I’ve found that not only does an early morning start help me to work better, I feel better and am happier throughout the day as a result.
When I am up before seven, I have ample time to really enjoy all of my little morning observances. I love the quiet of the house, the slow ritual of preparing coffee and the rich, cinnamon-laced chocolate aroma as it brews. I love settling down in my meditation chair with a big cup of hot lemon water, (cleanses the liver and kidneys and stimulates bile production, making digestion more effective) the scent of lemon tickling my consciousness as I begin my time with Source and meditation.
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As I finish up my meditation, my sweet little Pekingese will usually wander in to “practice” yoga with me, doing a few down dogs before insisting on a pet while I stretch. After yoga, I sit and enjoy a cup of “power coffee” then get my dogs out for a walk. By 9 am, I have taken care of myself, my animals, and the small morning chores and am ready to settle down to work at my computer.
On these days, my inner coach cheers for me, often in the voice of my paternal grandmother. My grandmother was one of the few positive female role models I had as a child. My coach congratulates me for keeping my goals on track and “gettin it done”, and reminds me of how proud she is of me. I pat myself on the back and feel amazing for being productive, caring for myself, home, family, and pets, and getting content written that maybe, just maybe might touch people and help them to see their own magic.
Sundays are my sleep-in days. I get up when my body wants to get up, usually around 9am. I relish having a slow day, making a big breakfast and just hanging out with my family. I think we all need at least one full day each week to re-create, to have fun and be lazy. But Monday I’m back to routine, up at a decent time and ready for the week. Or should be.
But it doesn’t always work out that way. There are days that I stay in bed too long, cozy under thick comforters, wrapped up in my partner’s arms and unable to motivate myself to get up. I almost always regret it. Instead of the positive, caring voice of my coach greeting me as I finally force myself to crawl out of bed, my inner critic kicks in as soon as my feet hit the floor – in a voice that alternates between two highly negative and critical women I had as mother figures growing up. These women had suffered terrible abuse in their formative years and did the best they could as parental figures, but the harshness of my childhood still rings in my inner ear and sometimes my heart, and most loudly when I’m feeling badly about myself.
On those less-than-ideal mornings, that voice berates me for “once again f#cking up”. As I rush through or entirely forego those rituals that help me to stay on track and productive, and my scattered mind goes into overdrive, she tells me I will never reach my goals. That I might as well just give up because I couldn’t possibly teach others to live a fulfilling and happy life. She tells me that I am a fraud. She reminds me that many of those close to me think my work as a writer, a teacher, a healer is just foolishness. As I listen to my critic my sensitive inner child is an emotional mess. It is often around this time that my coach tries to push through to tell me that I do live an amazing, magical, happy and fulfilled life 85% or more of the time. She reminds me that I began writing to help others who might be living in pain or just less than happy to do the same.
I want to hear what my coach is saying, but those damned childhood patterns fight to be obeyed and as my critic whispers negative into my mind I begin to question my purpose, my ability to teach others, reach my goals and nearly every other aspect of myself from my looks to my emotional intelligence. We’ve all been there at one time or another and as you probably know, it sucks with a capital S and just feels awful – and who really wants to feel bad?
When I start cycling downward, to be honest, there are times that I just can’t disconnect from that awful critic and it’s evening before I feel ok again. But I’ve learned to recognize my patterns and listen intently when my critic starts whispering bullsh#t in my ear – and have learned a few tools to quiet her again and get myself back on-track and feeling my best.
First and foremost, Islow the heck down. It is only too easy to get caught up in the rush when we are running behind our usual schedule, but remember what Einstein said? Time is relative. When we slow ourselves, time generally slows with us.
If you find yourself stressed and rushed, with your own inner critic starting to voice his or her unwelcome opinions into your subconscious, find a quiet spot, get comfortable and take some deep, slow breaths. As you silence your thoughts, see if you can actually sense time around you slowing. I guarantee this practice alone can be life-changing.
Make a list. I am highly ADD, which can be a gift when I need to hyperfocus or get many tasks done in a short period but less so when I am stressed and scattered. On those days that I am behind schedule and beleaguered, writing a list and being deliberate about checking off each item can help me to be more productive and get back to hearing the uplifting voice of my coach rather than the critic.
Put away the tech. Most of us really enjoy scrolling through Instagram or Tiktok, looking at beautiful images or fun microvideos. But how often do we allow Social Media – or a hundred different options all at the touch of a fingertip – to pull us out of focus? I deleted TikTok for several months because I found myself losing hours at a time, trying to justify those hours by telling myself the content was uplifting or made me feel happy to watch. Which it was, and it did, but how many hours do we watch others living rather than doing the living ourselves? I do believe that we can learn much and gain inspiration on how to live better or try new things from social media, youtube, or TikTok. But limiting our exposure and curating what we take in is so important in how it impacts our brain.
Get 10 minutes of exercise. My go-to is yoga, but 10 minutes on a treadmill, taking a brisk walk, a HIT routine, or anything that gets your blood pumping will oxygenate the bloodstream and brain, helping you to get clear.
Read or listen to a few minutes of inspirational or educational material. Wayne Dyer, Louise Hay, Rachel Hollis, Gabby Bernstein, Bruce Lipton and Deepak Chopra are a few of my go-to’s, but I am currently reading and listening to “Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself” by Dr. Joe Dispenza. The book is a brilliantly written but easily understood non-fiction that covers the way to override a lifetime of bad habits in everything from our thoughts to our ability to create an amazing life. Dr. Dispenza teaches how our neurochemistry and quantum physics play important roles in this process, which resonates and backs up much of what I have learned and teach already. I highly recommend it. There are also literally hundreds of short podcasts available by various authors and speakers that can help get you back into a state of higher resonance. I would also recommend Binaural beats as a way to positively alter your brainwaves.
Last but not least, Look at the bigger picture. Remember that this is a lifetime journey, not just a day trip. Sometimes we take a wrong turn and get lost for a while, but we always find our way back to the main road – sometimes in just a few minutes, sometimes longer. But regardless of how long it takes us to get back on track, the difference between a frustrating experience and an adventure is 100% in our mindset. What are your long-term goals? Where do you see yourself in five years? Ten? Twenty? How do you want to feel tomorrow, next year, in five, ten, or twenty years? This is what really matters, not the hours or a day of feeling off-kilter and out of sorts.
It is important to remember that our thoughts are patterns – neural pathways – in the brain. To better understand this, I like to have students and clients imagine a vast field of golden grain, gently waving in the wind. Our transient thoughts – what we might have for breakfast, how much you enjoyed a conversation with the lovely barista at your local coffee shop, the files you need to send to your boss – are all pathways that disappear quickly. But those thoughts that we have on repeat; often thoughts linked to memories that began in childhood, are deep furrows or even trenches in the field.
The more we listen to the critic and dwell on the negative, the stronger those patterns or pathways become. Going back to the metaphor, the deeper those paths become until one day they are trenches so deep it can be difficult to even remember that there is a whole world above the level of where we walk. But conversely, when we choose to see the world – and ourselves – through rose-colored glasses, we become the habit of our thoughts. We become happy. Positive. Uplifted and uplifting.
And you know what? Our vibrational energy is contagious, which means when we feel good those around us feel good, too. Win win situation, right? So the next time you find yourself on that downward spiral, listening to your inner critic, take a moment to observe your thoughts. Step back, take a breath, and tell her (or him) to shut the hell up, because you are a fucking unicorn, my love. Let me say again: You are magic. You are in control of your thoughts and your life, not your damned critic. You are amazing, unique, and are exactly where you need to be so get up, lift your chin and glow. Much love, beautiful one.
Each morning I spend time in meditation and reading wisdom. For over ten years one of the teachers whose books have inspired me has been Rolf Gates. I have a sense of reverence, resonance, and gratitude each time I pick up my dog-eared copy of meditations from the mat, and his words often inspire my own writing.
This morning the lesson was from his second book of reflections, Meditations on intention and being – finding your mountain; your sense of calm, steadiness and purpose.
For me, I also relate this to establishing a firm foundation; something many of us have felt lacking this last year. I certainly have.
This morning in meditation I was relating this idea to the volcanic activity that happens to create mountains. The earth shakes violently, magma erupts from the ground and from this violence mountains begin to grow.
This past year has felt like that, hasn’t it? Many of us have had our lives completely shaken, altered from what it had been for years or even decades before.
But what better time than the beginning of a new year to start rebuilding – or perhaps just repairing those parts of our foundations that have been crumbling?
growing beautifully, rooted firmly
In yoga , we begin with our feet to establish strength and ease in an asana – yoga pose.
Feeling energy beneath every part of our foundation, often the foot or the palms, we root ourselves into the mat to allow the asana to grow from that place.
Life is just like this. If we establish a firm foundation before we begin a new journey, venture, practice, or year, feeling into each aspect of where we would like to go, we will establish a firm foundation that will allow us to grow towards the heavens in strength and beauty .
Establishing healthy habits is essential in beginning to build a strong foundation. How do you begin and end each day? Do you take time for self-care? Learning? Meditation? Healthy eating?
Keeping those healthy habits that help you function better is a fabulous goal in itself, but If you have a specific goal or goals, it is so important to write them down. A goal that stays in our head is simply a daydream. For most of us, we need to have something that feels tangible to keep us on task or we tend to slide back into our old patterns.
If you want to achieve something specific, try breaking your goals down into steps. For example, maybe your dream has been to be a surgeon but life got in the way before you could achieve those dreams. You met someone, fell in love and had children. But that dream has become a cry from your soul to be fulfilled. So you decide it’s time to move forward with your dream.
If you wanted to get into med school next fall, that goal might seem unattainable. But writing down the specific steps you need to get there can make the process feel much easier. It’s like the old adage – “How do you eat an elephant? One bite at at time.”
Bubble graph example. Fill in each with your own dreams and goals!
Creating a bubble graph is a great way to break things down into bite-sized pieces. You might begin with deciding which school is both desirable and accessible to you. Online schooling is becoming more and more easy to find. Is there a school where you can take the majority of your classes online and do the practicals on-campus intermittently?
Let’s say you find the school, study for and pass the MCAT. You apply for admission and are accepted. Next would be finding grants and scholarships to cover the cost of tuition and possibly some of your day-to-day expenses such as childcare when your partner is not available.
After that, entering school is your biggest step! You can break down each semester’s classes in much the same way that you created your bubble graph to keep you on-task.
Keeping things structured on a calendar that you can reference each day is a great way to keep you focused on whatever your goals might be.
Today, I am creating my own bubble graph and making the commitment to keep to those healthy habits that keep me on-track and moving in the right direction. I recognize that achieving the reality that I wish to see may be a slow process, like the forming of mountain peaks, but staying connected to my foundation will help me to see my dreams realized infinitely faster than having no foundation at all. Whatever your dreams, aspirations or goals for 2021, I hope you achieve them all, and more. You deserve it!✨ 💖✨
Let’s talk about one of my favorite Sanskrit terms:
Ishvara Pranidhana.
Just the sound of it is melodic and pleasing to my mind, but the meaning is both beautiful and complicated.
Ishvara is most commonly known as God, Highest Consciousness, Brahman/God Within/All That Is.
Pranidhana is surrender.
With Ishvara Pranidhana, we surrender completely to something greater than our selves.
We give our desires, dreams, anxieties and outcomes to Ishvara and have faith that all is well, that all is unfolding as it should and will work out for our greatest good.
I don’t know about you, but for me, faith can be damned hard.
There are days when I feel a mess, uncertain and ill at ease with reality, God, and my personal outcomes. I hold my worries close.
Honestly, those days suck. I feel awful – angry, frustrated and even resentful in that dark space – and though it can be hard to see the light beyond, I know that I 💯 do not want to remain in the darkness.
So I try to come back to Ishvara Pranidhana, to letting go of my little Self; the ego who loooooves to think she is in control – and closer to surrendering to God, whatever God may be.
To get back to the space of letting go and the knowledge that all is working out beautifully and perfectly for the evolution of my soul, I start with my #breath and move onto my #good .
There are so many incredible blessings in this life, and remembering those nearest and dearest – my good health, my loved ones, the beauty that surrounds me, the abundance that I experience daily – helps me to see the light and make my way out of that dark room. Spending some time getting out of my own head and ego and focusing my mind on sending love to others; whether it is someone I hold near and dear or the homeless woman playing violin on the street corner always, always makes me feel better, too.
There are times when I have to distract myself for a bit, first – I blast my “Happy” playlist, throw myself into a project, walk my dogs, call a friend or family member, start a new piece of art, try to work on editing my books… the list goes on.
After an hour or two in “flow”; forgetting my ego-fueled “problems”, finding my way back surrender, to Ishvara, is easy. Or easier, anyway. I may not have developed the patience to be in the space of “letting go and letting God” all of the time, but having a few tools under my belt helps me to get there more consistently.
From that space, it is often awe-inspiring to me how magic and “miracles” unfold and things really do work out in amazing ways. 🥰
Among the trees and wild things, I forget who I think I am. In nature, my small self dissolves into the trees and I am once again married to my soul. I am whole. I am Love. I am Divine. – TB Drake
Hello Beautiful;
How often do you get outside? Not just walking to your car for a quick trip to the market, but actually immersing yourself in nature?
The Japanese have a term for spending time in nature, especially in forests – Shinrin-yoku, or Forest bathing. I once read an article in Time magazine in which the author speaks of this practice as taking in the atmosphere of the forest through our senses. This sums eloquently how I feel when I am in nature, but especially surrounded by trees and away from the busy-ness and distraction of civilization.
As I walk among the tall trees, my sense of self – expectations, wishes, insecurities, doubts and fears just melt away as I stand in awe of the beauty that surrounds me. I am encompassed by the feeling of God – or Source, or Spirit – something so much greater than my small self and the trivial aspects of being human and my egoic self just can’t stand in front of that greatness so retreats to a distant corner of my mind.
Sunday is church day for many, but COVID has reduced or eliminated the ability to gather for worship. I don’t attend church services these days as the dogma and demand for money I had experienced in my last year or so of religion several years ago just felt wrong, but being in nature for me takes me directly to the Source that I have been seeking all my life.
This is worship. This is church and temple. This is connection to All That Is and as I sink deeper into connection with Source and and my Self I am reminded that the petty squabbles with my small self – and others – are unnecessary and even harmful to my truth – to the magic, beauty and spaciousness of who I am beneath those layers that have been imposed upon me by others and that I have imposed upon myself.
This connection to Source and Spirit is reason enough to spend time in nature as often as possible, but science also reinforces the benefits of shinrin-yoku.
Forest bathing exposes us to the powerful negative ions that are produced by the earth, but are found in particular abundance in forests and by large bodies of water. Frequent exposure to negative ions lengthen telomeres; the DNA markers for aging, reduce the incidence of cancer and autoimmune diseases, and increase the brain’s production of dopamine and serotonin; anxiety-lowering, feel good neurotransmitters. Forest bathing also has been shown to lower blood pressure and heart rate. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/27493670/
Do you have a regular practice that disconnects you from technology and the negative impacts on our emotional and physical wellness that modern society brings and re-connects you with your highest Self and better health? If not, take a dip into the cool waters of Shinrin-yoku. Allow yourself to reset, to drop all of the stuff and reallyfeelthe forest. What have you got to lose -besides stress, anxiety, and poor health? Much love!🥰
This Blessed Sacred Life 