For several years, my (adult) son has gotten a new tattoo each New Year’s Eve.
The tattoo that he chooses is one that is representative of where he’s at in life, the past year and the one to come. I personally think this is a really cool way to physically evaluate where you are at and manifest the future you wish to create. It’s not my way, but I love the idea and that he knows so clearly what is right for him.
This year he is getting a tattoo of the Memento Mori skull with a Pacific Northwest scene incorporated.
Momento Mori means “Remember Your Death.” another way of putting this is “Remember that one day, you, too, shall die.”
This may seem morose or melancholic, but I believe it is a perfect representation and way to begin a new year. It is a reminder of the preciousness of life. Incorporating the Pac NW mountains and pine trees is a grounding memento of the home he grew up in.
It got me thinking about how ending one calendar year and beginning another is a bit like a mini-death and rebirth. Personally, if I were going to do a similar tattoo, I might go with “Memento Mori, Memento Vivere” – Remember your Death, Remember to Live.
How often do we spend our days just putting one foot in front of the other without really being here? How many of us aren’t really living but just existing, waiting to die? What if our New Year’s resolution was to really live our best possible lives in 2023?
How would that look for you? What would you change if you knew you had no limits?
What steps might you take to move toward the life you would like to be living instead of existing?
What risks would you take that might make you uncomfortable in the short term but alter your level of joy exponentially in the long term?
Recent studies in Neurobiology show that the old idea of “Be happy and your life will follow” is a flawed philosophy.
The adage “Fake it until you make it” is far more accurate – mood follows action. This is so important that it is worth repeating.
Mood follows action.
Behavior is the control panel of the mind. We have to take the steps that feel uncomfortable and sometimes frightening for the joy to show up.
This means that in order to step into our best possible life, it is often necessary to step away from all that is familiar to us and into the unknown.
It is our safety-based (fear-based) egoic constructs and pre-set survival programming that keeps us locked into stale patterns and an unfulfilled existence.
This is not only a psychological phenomena based in how we were parented and cared for as children, but also a characteristic of our neurobiology.
When we begin something unfamiliar or new, the brain, being hardwired to survive rather than thrive; to choose safety over success, views things that are not known as “unsafe”.
Because of this primitive biology, the amygdala – the brain’s primitive survival center – will produce stress hormones such as adrenaline and norepinephrine, causing us to feel frustrated and uncomfortable; to give up and go back to the safety of our “cave” or normal life.
This is extra true for any of us over thirty-five years old – unless we are actively learning new things or utilizing practices to grow a better brain, 90% or more of the way we live is the result of the biological structure of the brain’s wiring. Ouch, right?
As a result, anything outside of what is generally familiar to us will feel hard – learning new skills, behaviors or languages, looking for a new career job or hobby, addressing past trauma, going back to school, starting new relationships, traveling to unfamiliar places. Anything new and unfamiliar will likely feel challenging. Difficult. The same chemical processes that keep us “safe” also inhibits us from continuing to grow.
But here’s where “magic” can happen: when we stop avoiding those things that feel uncomfortable or unfamiliar and instead step into the chaos of what may feel like a storm of negative emotion, we will pass through the gates of what is fondly called the “Terror Barrier” and drop into a new neurochemical state.
After the initial dump of adrenaline, if we continue to “ride the wave” of discomfort, our brain begins to produce acetylcholine.
This chemical bypasses the safe zone to bring us into a deeper state of learning, focus and neuroplasticity. Aceylcholine is what is responsible for the feeling of being in a “flow state”. Once we have achieved this state, we have a dopamine release – a feel-good neurochemical reward for creating new neural networks and evolution of who we are.
So cool. 😄😎🤯
It’s like nature and biology created us to largely stay safe. Comfortable. To follow the crowd. But for those intrepid souls who are willing to step into the unknown, to move past the fear, frustration, discomfort and anxiety, new worlds and wonder await.
An interesting spiritual parallel to this is a scripture from the epistle of Thomas in the scrolls found at Nag Hammadi:
Fascinating – Exactly like the neural chemical process described above. Seek/step out of a comfort zone. Be disturbed/uncomfortable/troubled. Be astounded and amazed, then the keys to the universe are within your grasp.
For thousands of years, we as a species have left the intrepid exploration to the very few. We have chosen to remain safe, often at the expense of our long-term happiness.
But I would like to think that we are at a place in our evolution where that access is open to each of us.
We all have the ability to captain and pilot our own ship to the destiny that we choose, rather than that which society, family, peer groups or just our own fears have chosen for us.
All we have to do is decide what we want, and step into the unknown with the understanding that the initial response may feel uncomfortable. Frustrating. Disturbing. Like chaos. But as Moana found out, the other side of that reef is where the whole world lies.🌎✨💫
What will you choose for 2023?
Happy New Year!🍾🎉🎊
Big hugs and much love.💖
– Terah
This Blessed Sacred Life 