Category: Uncategorized

Tools to authenticity

by Terah Drake, posted in Uncategorized

You have the freedom to be yourself; your true self, here and now, and nothing can stand in your way.   – Richard Bach

Hello Beautiful;

It can be a challenge to really “Know thyself”.  From childhood to adulthood, we are fed so much misinformation on who we are “supposed to be” that can be a process to dig through the layers of life to unearth the Who that we wish to be underneath.  Sometimes trauma, emotional or physical, prevents us from growing into our true Self. Extreme trauma can cause even those who seem to move through life with a strong sense of who they are to regress. But it doesn’t necessarily require a negative experience to keep our spirit hidden somewhere in the deepest recesses of our consciousness – sometimes it is just the day-to-day humdrum monotony or the constantly on the go business of living that causes us to forget, to get lost in the business of simply existing rather than really living.

Knowing ourselves – who we really are at our core, is also a matter of faith.  Faith that we are in there, somewhere, and doing the “work” to bring that greater sense of Self to the surface is worth it.  Faith that there is a higher power at work sending messages of love to our soul, wanting to draw us forward into our purpose and power rather than remain hidden in those shadowy recesses like a child too afraid to come out and play.  Faith that somewhere in our being, in what sometimes feels like vast emptiness; a chasm of space that we stand teetering on the precipice of, within that gap there are entire galaxies of creativity, of joy, of love – just waiting to be birthed.   

Anne Dillard wrote that it is within those gaps that the spirit’s true home can be found – “…The altitudes and latitudes so dazzlingly spare and clean that the spirit can discover itself for the first time like a once-blind man unbound.”  Beautiful imagery describing something that can also feel frightening for its vastness. 

But he process of becoming who you are doesn’t have to be frightening or difficult.  In fact, it can be fun, joyous, and freeing in a way that will alter your mindset and ability to create – to master your own destiny – in a amazing and powerful way. 

The best way to do this is to learn to really listen to your spirit; to intentionally enter that gap to tune in to what the real you is saying.  Spending time in solitude and silence is a necessary part of that journey, but to those of us that spend most of our time filling that space with busyness and noise, that can be a bit challenging at first.  Luckily, there are a few fun tools you can use to get you closer to accessing the stillness necessary for really listening to your inner voice and wisdom.  

That a man can change himself…and master his own destiny is the conclusion of every mind who is wide-awake to the power of right thought.  – Christian D. Larson

 Start with writing a list of ten things that feed your spirit.  By this I mean things that make you feel alive, feel at peace, feel joyful.  For me it is painting, writing, reading, paddle boarding, biking, learning, hiking, trail running – well, just about anything outdoors, travel and all the adventures involved therein, spending time with people I love and ideally, spending time with them doing some of the things that feed my spirit.  And about eighty other things I could put on the list that excite me. But once upon a time, I was in a place so dark that I could barely find five things to put on that list.   

If finding ten genuine things that gets you excited feels difficult, go back to your childhood.  What did you do for fun? What made you feel happy? Start with that and move forward, thinking about the things and events that you have experienced that really lit you up.  Write them down, and try to do one thing on that list every single day. I have clients that tell me that finding ten minutes to do something that feeds them can be a challenge, but even if it’s only for five minutes at a time, it’s a start.  Get up a minutes early, if you have to. You deserve to give yourself permission to do something that delights you, lovely. You really do.   

Next week let’s talk about self-love and how that ties into becoming the fullest, most dynamic expression of who you are meant to be.  I love you!

  • Terah

Molecules of Emotion

by Terah Drake, posted in Uncategorized

You are, after all, what you think. Your emotions are the slaves to your thoughts, and you are the slave to your emotions.  – Elizabeth Gilbert.  

Hello, Beautiful;

Deepak Chopra, world-renowned doctor, guru, and mind-body health expert said:  “The mind is not in the brain. The mind is in every cell of your body.” Your body is a thinking, feeling machine.  I mean this literally – there are cells throughout your body that “listen” and respond to your emotions. Cells that have receptors for neuropeptides; essentially “molecules of emotion” that dock to these receptors each time we experience a strong emotion, either positive or negative.  When these receptors receive that emotional information, our body responds by pumping out more chemicals and hormones that support this emotional state. Chemicals and hormones that are fed to your immune cells, to your digestive system, to your heart, liver, lungs and everywhere in between.  

This is powerful, amazing information to know about.  What is especially exciting, and a little bit frightening about this truth, however, is that it means that it is vital for our own health to take radical responsibility for our emotional states and the way we respond to the emotions of others.  If you have a fight with a family member or your spouse because they are in a bad mood, you take on their negative state in a physiological manner, depressing your immune response, liver function, and heart health. In fact, the immune system is not actually an “immune system” in the way we have thought conventionally at all.  The latest research shows that it is, in fact, a circulating nervous system. You might even say the immune system is a circulating nervous response system.

Sixty percent of your heart cells are called “neural cardiocytes”.  These cells act like brain cells. In fact, the pacemaker cells of your heart are actually neurons and can give you a far better understanding of those intuitive feelings you get about people you meet, the environment you are in and where you need to go than your brain can.  We now understand that the expression “I have a gut feeling”, commonly used since the 1970s, isn’t just a metaphor. It couldn’t be more spot-on: your gut and brain are connected by millions of nerves. The gut itself produces the same chemicals the brain does, and a healthy gut will feed your brain far more accurate information about your external situations, people and environments than your brain alone ever could.  It also works powerfully in creating a cycle within the biome of your body of either health and well-being or lack thereof.

The amount of rest you get each day, the people you spend time with, the degree to which you self-nurture and care, and the food you eat can also support this process, either feeding beneficial gut bacteria; also responsible for our emotional well being, or killing off beneficial bacteria to be replaced with an overgrowth of “bad” bacteria such as candida, E coli or staph.  Simply cutting out chemicals found in “junk” food, artificial sweeteners and eating fewer sugars and processed foods can be huge in either maintaining or restoring a healthy digestive system.  

Exercise:  How are you supporting the physical and emotional health of your body?  How do you feel on a day-to-day basis? Today, if you find yourself reacting negatively to a person or situation, can you take a moment to step back, quietly observe the reaction and allow it to pass?  If you are feeling tuned in to your own state, you might even ask where your reaction is really stemming from – for me, I found myself responding to negative emotions and realized much of the time, it was from a deep-rooted sense of abandonment, begun in earliest childhood.  Just the awareness of this fact was an incredible asset to me in learning to separate others’ emotions from my own.  

It may be difficult at first if you, like me, pick up and respond strongly to others’ moods and emotions, but with practice, you should notice that that response system becomes lessened, and sending people in a negative or even toxic state love and compassion becomes easier.  If all else fails two of my personal favorite mantras are: “Not my circus, not my monkeys” or “Let that shit go”, accompanied by the image of a baby Buddha meditating in a pair of headphones for keeping my own response system – and internal biome – healthy and happy. Play a little with what works for you, but most important is simply the awareness of what is happening in your body each and every time you allow yourself to be drawn into a negative or toxic state.  

Much love, 

  • Terah

Celebrating our fellow be-ings

by Terah Drake, posted in Uncategorized

We live in a society where topical perfection is a status symbol.  Social media, television, magazines, even our own self-talk affects our ability to be able to celebrate ourselves and the unique perfection that each of us holds.  Instead, we experience chronic low self-esteem that many of us keep tightly bound in our skins and around our spirits. As a result, instead of the joy we should experience bathing in the freedom of our authenticity – and sharing that freedom with others, our insecurities often lead us to treat other humans, particularly those we find intimidating, with meanness, cutting each other down instead of building each other up.    

But here is a small miracle that each one of us can try that will change nearly every experience you have with those we encounter, whether the clerk at the grocery store or the barista making your favorite morning brew:  When you find yourself reacting negatively to someone, take a breath, smile, and Be Kind. Compliment one thing you genuinely like or appreciate about that person – maybe they have incredible hair, a great smile or an inflection in their speech that you find interesting.  Or just ask about their day. They might feel a little awkward with the compliments, but nine times out of ten, if the energy was negative to begin with – whether it was due to your insecurities or theirs – (or maybe they were just having a bad day) your kindness will turn it around, and you just might learn something about yourself.  

If you find yourself having a negative reaction to someone you meet or even on social media, television, etc., with no visible reason, do some soul searching – what is it that is causing your reaction?  How does it feel, really? Being positive, feeling blissful and at peace always feels better, doesn’t it? How can you feel your best and share that good feeling with others if you are angry, resentful or insecure?  So start celebrating yourself, darling, because you are fabulous. You are worthy. You are amazing! You deserve to shine your light – and you can help others to do the same by celebrating the good you can see in them, even if they can’t see it themselves.  

Share love!  Give genuine compliments.  Build others up – you didn’t get to be the fabulous person you are today without some help and a lot of love from others, so let’s pay it forward.  Celebrate others along with yourself. “Love” those efforts people make to share their own authenticity and creativity, even if it isn’t your brand of authenticity and creativity.  Remember that when someone shines brightly, they aren’t dimming your own light, but rather giving you loving permission to shine just as brightly.

God’s Name

by Terah Drake, posted in Uncategorized

Why is what God is so important?  

Why do we need to define and put into 

Parameters we can understand 

Something so vast and undefinable as God, 

Or what God might be?

How can we believe that 

A God of All Creation

And personal relation could

Possibly not speak in the 

Language and cultural norms 

Of the Hindi of India, 

The Bantu of Africa,

The nomadic tribes of the Sahara,

Or the Malaysian and other 

Cultures of the great continent and

Outlying Isles of Asia?

I was born Christian,

But am I damned for believing 

That the same God of Abraham, 

Moses and Isaac – 

the God whose son walked on this earth – 

might also be the God of Mohammed, 

the God named Shiva, Allah, 

Yahweh, Susie or Fred,

Depending on who you are asking?

Am I to be relegated to a fiery 

Eternity for considering 

That perhaps the similarities 

Between myth and current religion

Might be clues to the divine 

Connection of all that was, 

Of all that is, 

And all that will be – 

In the same way that we humans

And other inhabitants of 

This earth are 

A part and parcel of whatever

God may be;

Individual cells in one vast body?

Many years ago, 

Studying world religions

And mythology, I learned 

That even the Bible and

Christianity as we know it 

Was created and written

325 years after Christ’s death, 

By an emperor and 

Council set on combining

The prevailing religions 

Of the time 

With The Way, 

The original teachings 

Of Christ and his apostles, 

Into a tidy Package 

That people could 

Easily follow and call 

Truth. 

But I believe those things 

That we call Truth 

Are both relative 

And often found 

In less likely places 

Than many sacred venues 

Where we go to worship.

Truth can be found in the 

Whispering of the wind

Through the long grasses

Where my dogs romp,

In the shadows cast and raucous

Calling of the Ravens as 

They fly overhead.

I believe God can be found

In the quiet rising of the sun

over the misty hills of my home,

In the sound 

Of my children’s laughter 

Or good-natured argument,

In the chirping of the colony

Of frogs in the evening 

And in the geese and swans 

Gracefully swimming by 

With their fuzzy young

on the river that 

Perimeters my farm.

I’m not saying that God

Can’t also be found in our sacred

Temples and churches, 

In monasteries and mosques,

Because if there is any such

Thing as a Universal Truth

It is that God is, and can be found

Anywhere and everywhere –

If you are looking for Wonder,

For Awe, for Joy, for Love,

For Inspiration, for Redemption, 

For Perfection and Connection.

But if you are looking, 

It can just as easily be found in 

The whispering of the wind,

A single drop of dew upon a 

blade of grass, or the laughter 

Of children in India, Nepal,

Or Iran

As in those sacred venues

And places of worship,

And that God cares not 

If he/she is called by Yahweh,

Allah, Shiva, Susie or Fred –

As long as you call.

Gratitude

by Terah Drake, posted in Uncategorized

“Do not indulge in dreams of having what you have not, but reckon up the chief of the blessings you do possess, and then thankfully remember how you would crave for them if they were not yours.” – Marcus Aurelius

“Let the grateful heart sweep through the day that it may recognize in every hour some sweet blessing.” – Henry Ward Beecher

“La Vie Est Belle” – Life is Beautiful!   Having a daily self-care ritual is one of the fastest ways to begin the process of co-creation and manifestation, but learning to deeply tune in to your sense of gratitude, to shift from those moments of contrast and frustration or even self-recrimination is as essential as breathing to the learning to shape your own reality.  

We have all have moments; even days when it can be easy to feel discouraged or to get wrapped up in the “contrast” – what may feel like the negative aspects of your circumstance.  There are times or events that may get us down or makes us feel unhappy. I sometimes find myself reacting to the negative emotions and moods of those closest to me, which is a lot like tumbling off the top of a mountain to suddenly finding myself in a puddle of mud at the bottom of the trail.  I can move from having 180 degree views; feeling on top of the world to dark depression in a short period of time, which is awful – but I have learned that tuning back into and staying as close as possible to that high-flying state of gratitude and joy helps not only to keep me in a happy, abundant place but also lifts those around me to a better mindset and higher frequency of being.  “To see, to taste, to touch – to know that it is real, alive; this glorious, unconditional reality of ours. This is a true gift and our greatest calling – to feel the truth of the joy it is just to be alive.”

Exercise:

Gratitude journal:  list 5 things you are grateful for each morning.  Feel free to get creative in this. Doodle, sketch, whatever inspires you, but try to engage your creative and emotional muscle as you write:  

“I sit writing, bathed in the beauty of this moment as small ripples break the cool surface of the adobe-hued swimming pool I sit beside; aquamarine and turquoise where the sun reflects off of the walls and floor of the depths below.   The deep-throated call of a pair of curious, black-coated Great-tailed Grackles, the soft coo of Collared doves and the warble of a Northern Mockingbird sound from the verdant fronds of overhanging palms. Soft spring breezes caress my skin as my fingers warm from a fragrant, pink-hued cup of tea; ripe summer scents of tart strawberry, sweet mango, and astringent Ceylon wafting upward like incense.  This is heaven, condensed in a crystalline drop of time. ”

How could I not be grateful for the moment, given the feel of all of my senses that have been incorporated into my entry?   But on a day when the time is limited, it might look more like this:

5. The experience of writing next to the cool, turquoise pool of my Airbnb.  

4. Hot tea ripe with flavors of strawberry and mango feels like summer.  

3. Call of Mockingbirds, doves, and Grackles from tall palms overhanging pool.  

2. Feel of the spring breeze, warmth, and aroma of my tea.

1. Feeling of integration of all of my senses in this beautiful moment.

Though that particular moment was especially poignant, a typical morning entry listing favorite moments from the previous day might look more this:

5. Romp with through green fields with dogs in the afternoon sunlight.  

4. Iridescent rainbow where the sun met misting rainclouds

3. Good coffee prepared by my husband

2. Family game night of “Jenga” and “Shanghai Rummy”

1. Pad Kee Mao and curry from my favorite Thai restaurant

These entries are still creative and reminiscent of what I was experiencing in that moment, but not quite so poetic or long-winded.  The point is of this exercise to access both left and right-brain functions and grasp the feel of the experience you are grateful for, so find your own unique voice and expression.  

Exercise 2:

Physical gratitude!  True gratitude begets more things to be grateful for, but sometimes it takes a bit for our bodies to catch up with our minds – and vice-versa.  These two simple exercises can facilitate the union of both a little faster. They should not take more than five minutes or so each.

  1. Stand with your feet shoulder width apart, preferably somewhere outdoors, and barefoot if possible.  Feel your feet really rooted into the earth, or carpet, or wherever you happen to be standing. Toes rooted, sides of the feet and heels attached to the ground.  Feel the sense of energy that happens as your really connect with your feet and the ground, that energy traveling up through your thighs, pelvis, stomach, spine, all the way through the crown of your head. Really lengthen through the spine.    Your spine is an energetic superhighway for the rest of your body – each transmission that leaves your brain must pass through the spine to find it’s way to the rest of your body. As you practice this exercise consistently, you should experience that energy more fully, making movement more ease-full and enjoyable.  
  1. Now spread your arms wide, lifting your chest and dropping your shoulder blades a little farther down the spine.  Feel that sense of expansion filling your chest and heart center, breathing deeply into both the front and back of the lungs and the diaphragm.  This should feel good!
    Inhale through your nose and drop your mouth open as you exhale.  Feel the space around you. Feel the sense of expansion and energy in your body.  From this place, find something that you are extra grateful for in this moment. Something that is a real blessing, or some things that are blessings.  My family is always foremost in my mind and heart, but there are many other things personal to me that I use in this exercise. If you are in a place that you are able to speak or even shout out loud, feel into the incredible good of that/those blessings, and say: I am blessed!  Shout it out, if that feels good! Regardless of where you are in your life and circumstance, there is good to be found, and you truly are blessed.  
  1. Alternately, lie on your back or sit in a comfortable cross-legged position.  If you have back issues, put a pillow under your legs, behind the knees if you are reclined or just under your tailbone if you prefer to be seated.  Let your limbs relax, become liquid like. Breath deep, through the nose, and let the depth of the breath take your body deeper into softness. Allow your mind to follow your breath, becoming quiet and soft.  Feel into the good of the body, feeling gratitude for this moment – for the breath expanding the lungs and diaphragm, for the muscles of the body that provides movement or yielding each moment, for the skeletal structure that provides support for the soft tissue – muscles, ligaments and tendons, fascia.  We are amazing machines, incredibly made. Just stay in that feeling for a few minutes, fully experiencing that velvety sense of softness and good within the body and breath. Breathe in good, breathe out anything that doesn’t serve. Slowly bringing a sense of energy back through the spine and into the limbs, bring the feet up towards the hips if you are reclined and move the knees a little side to side, continuing to bask in the good of the moment with gratitude.  When you are ready, roll to the side and push yourself up to a sitting position, palms together at the center of the chest. Repeat as often as necessary or desired. Namaste, friends. Much love!

Goose

by Terah Drake, posted in Uncategorized

He had forgotten how many days he had been in this place; hardly noticed whether the great light was there, illuminating the sky, or if the glowing orb that took its place in darkness had performed its daily ritual of exchange.  The rain fell, as it often did in this country, but he scarcely felt the wet sliding down his head and back, pooling the ground at his feet, any more than he did the heat that scorched blisters into those same tired feet. His gaze remained fixed on the same place, day after day, night after night.  The place that she had been, weeks ago.  The place that they had been, blissful; absorbed only in each other; together.  

Only days before she had disappeared, they had learned that they were to be parents again.  At the time, he had been hardly able to contain his joy; but now all he felt was a dull ache in his heart and gut.  He kept his mind as empty as possible. Better to be numb than to cross over into the grief and despair he could feel touching the corners of his consciousness.  

Occasionally, he became dimly aware of the presence of others; family that would leave small offerings of food, or the huge, noisy beasts that sped by; sometimes slowing as they neared his spot.  Perhaps they wondered at his perseverance, his lack of movement, the slump of his narrow neck and shoulders. Those of his kind would understand. He doubted any others would. Once, when a pack of chowla had come near, he had shuffled towards the center of the hard stone highway the behemoths rolled down.  His kind had too often been hunted by these creatures. The furry beasts had watched him for a few moments, sniffing the place he had stood, eventually losing interest and loping away when he had remained there, in the center of the rolling beasts’ migratory route.

The chowla, for all of their hungry intent, also knew the danger of the giants that traveled down these roads.  He had cautiously moved back to his spot when the pack loped off, looking for easier prey. He had to stay here.  He was certain that if he just remained a little longer, she would be there again.  They would be together again. They would be a family, as they had planned. As they had been for many seasons before.

He had met her long ago, when he was in his young seasons, living among a large, noisy, friendly, village.  His people were largely nomadic, moving from place to place as mood, weather or instinct took them. He loved his people, but he also craved stillness and silence, which just didn’t happen when he was among his kind.  That time of the year it had been particularly raucous; it was the annual meet of many tribes and they had arrived in the meeting grounds yesterday. The chosen place this season was a vast grassland bordering a small lake.  The location was beautiful, but he was already craving the open spaces and feel of the wind rushing past his face as they traveled to their next destination.

His one good friend; Lo’kai, kept him busy – keeping him out of mischief.  Lo’kai was the polar opposite of his personality – merry, outgoing, mischievous, and a little crazy.  He had eyes to match his persona; one dark brown and the other a golden amber with flecks of deeper gold and brown that reminded Jae’el of driftwood floating on a sun-kissed river.  His sarcastic tongue had provoked as many challenges with other youngs in the village as Jae’el’s intelligence and diminutive size had.

Unfortunately, in spite of his spiked tongue, Lo’kai was not much of a fighter, which left Jae’el to either take on the challenge, or the two of them to run like they were being pursued by angry chowla.  Which they had been, on a number of occasions. But that was another story.

Jae’el had always been a little small for his kind, but he was sleek, muscled and graceful.  He also had the advantage of being intelligent, which certainly couldn’t be said for all of the males in his village.  Particularly the largest. Maybe they just relied too heavily upon their size and neglected their brains, or perhaps it was nature’s way of evening things out, but he had found that speed and brains won over brawn every time when there was a contest between the two.  

Even still, there was rarely a day when he was not challenged in some way by the noxious, bullying males of his group trying to prove themselves to the girls of the village.  Though he had won these challenges more times than he could count, the females were typically still drawn to the larger, louder brawnier types. It hadn’t bothered him too much – with his keen mind and vivid imagination, he always had plenty to keep him occupied; though he did occasionally experience a pang of longing for female companionship.  

The day he had met his mate, he had been on his own, quietly sitting in a warm patch of tall grass.  Jael enjoyed the quiet time to muse; he was engrossed in one of his favorite activities, watching the formations of the huge, billowing forms of light and moisture high overhead.  He marveled at the way the shapes could change from moment to moment; first a gigantic flower, then a patch of river-grass, then a high mountain. Did the creatures that resided in them make them take form, or was it a natural occurrence?  

He had been just drifting off,  relaxed and warm, limbs softened by the heat of the day when he got the uncanny feeling that he was being watched.  Sleepily opening one eye, he spotted a large, liquid eye, the color of twilight, watching him with bemusement from behind a panel of the grass.  He had stood up quickly, tripping over his own feet in the process and landing hard on the ground behind him. His face and neck warmed, embarrassment twisting his features.  

Looking up dumbly to see the eye moving out of the grass, becoming a face that was most becoming.  She laughed lightly, the sound like soft wind through the lupine that bloomed broad and blue-violet in the spring.  She was beautiful, and he was transfixed. Dropping down next to him, she was close enough for him to see the moisture glistening on her face and body.  She must have been swimming.

Shaking her head, she sprayed him with cool drops of lake water.  She gave another little laugh.

“Sorry!  Wasn’t thinking, there.  Hope you don’t mind a cool down!  I am Hael’il. I like your secret spot.  She paused for a moment, looking out through the small slivers of light between the grass and reeds, then glanced at him sideways.  He had the uncomfortable feeling that she could see into his mind, or maybe his soul, and knew exactly what he was thinking.

“Those chalili are really loud.  I love seeing friends and family from all over, but are they ever a rowdy bunch!  Have we met before? I don’t remember you, but it can be hard to keep track at these gatherings.”  His eyes widened. She wanted him to speak? He suddenly realized that he couldn’t remember his own name.  So much for wit and intelligence.

“Ja Ja Ja”  He stuttered.  Her eyes sparkled.  “Ja Ja? An unexpected name for one of your tribe.”  He dipped his head, breaking eye contact, then looked up again, staring at a space just past her head.  Maybe that would help. He took a deep breath.

“My name is Jae’el.  I don’t think we have met before – I would have remembered. She had cocked her head thoughtfully, gazing at him with an appraising look that he had eventually grown to know well.  

“Jae’el, hmm?  Well, Jae’el, I think we are going to be very good friends.”  

They had been together since.  Until the day a few weeks ago when she had disappeared from the small thicket where they had recently made their camp.   He had only left for a few hours, hunting down a meal for their midday repast. She had been feeling a little tired, her belly beginning to show signs of her incipience.  When he had left, she had been resting, her head cradled on a pillow of soft grass. When he returned to find her gone, he had not been concerned. She was independent and deeply social, visiting friends, family and elderly members of their village daily.  She must have just gone for a visit. He had settled down to wait, feeling a little drowsy himself.

He awakened at twilight, the grass cool and already beginning to dampen from the evening dew.  He was still alone. He had become worried. This was uncharacteristic, but perhaps Hael’il had been held up at granny Fautina’s place.  Granny had been doing poorly this season and Hael’il had spent much time there, comforting the old woman the best she could with her presence.   He had walked over to grannie’s encampment, but granny had not seen his mate at all that day. He became increasingly panicked as he had visited each camp in their village, but no one had seen her since the morning at village meet.  He went back to their camp, calling her name as loudly as his lungs could muster.

Eventually, everyone in the encampment had joined in the hunt, to no avail.  She had disappeared. When light came, he expanded his search for miles, but he could find no trace of her.  He had continued to scour the nearby land for days, desperate to find some sign of his love. Finally, exhausted, he had settled into this place, on a bit of high ground, to watch their camp for her return.  

A few days ago, the village had moved on to their next camp, the elders shaking their heads sadly at his refusal to join them.  He had heard them quietly speaking among themselves as they shuffled off.

“It is often this way.  They were well bonded – Jae’el will not easily be swayed to leave his mate.”  He would not be swayed. Hael’il would not have left willingly, and he knew she would return if at all possible.  Lo’kai had come to visit him, sitting quietly by his side for hours. Finally, he had spoken. It was the first time Jae’el had ever heard his friend mournful.  

“Jae’el, we have been friends for many seasons.  Do you remember that first season when we were younglings?  You were so small, but still, you protected me from those dwa’bel who were trying to get some licks in on me.”  He smiled at the memory. “You have always had my back, brother, regardless of circumstance. Perhaps you would allow me to return the favor.” Lo’kai took a deep breath.

“Jae’el,  I know how much you love Hael’il.  But it has been weeks since she has been seen.  The village is moving on, and I am worried that if you stay longer, something will happen to you, as well. You haven’t really eaten since she disappeared.  You will disappear yourself if you don’t move on. Jae’el had glared over at him.

“What was that, brother?   Would you have me give up on Hael’il; turn my back and just forget my mate?”, he queried.  Lo’kai shifted uncomfortably.

“Jae’el, I think you should consider that perhaps Hael’il is not coming back.  That maybe she was taken by the chowla, or the hunters with fire sticks.” He shook his head sadly.  “I don’t know, she could have even been run down by one of the rolling beasts.” Jae’el had turned his back on his friend.  

“Leave now, Lo’kai.  Leave with the village.  Perhaps we will meet in another season, but this is my place.  With my mate.” Lo’kai had reached out for a moment, then turned away.  

“As you wish, brother.  I will pray that we will see each other soon.”  There had been silence after that. Jae’el was alone. A stream of the great wheeled beasts rolled past, black clouds billowing in their wake.  He glanced behind his shoulder as the last of the creatures trundled down the road. He thought, for a moment, that he had caught a glimpse of something through the haze; just across the highway.  

“Hael’il?”  He turned farther around, craning his neck. “Hael’il!  Are you there?”  

There it was again – hazy and indistinct, but he was sure he had seen something.  Her. She had returned, as he knew she would. He stood up, his legs nearly giving out from under him, so weak that he could barely support himself. Jae’el reached out, stumbling across the wet stone path, beginning to sob.

“Hael’il, I knew you would come back to me.”  His tears obscured his vision as he made his way towards her.  He stopped for a moment, shaking his head to clear his eyes. Where was she?  Why did she not call back? His gaze fixed upon the spot he had been sure he had seen her just a moment before.  

“Hael’il?”  His voice barely a whisper now.  There was nothing there. It had been an apparition, or perhaps a hallucination.  He dropped to the hard ground. His desperation turned to grief. Lo’kai had been right.  Hael’il was gone. He had been a fool, convincing himself she was alive to avoid his pain.

The ground beneath him began to shake slightly.  Jae’el slowly looked up, hearing the rumbling of a rolling beast as it sped towards him; towards the high mountain in the distance.  He pushed himself to stand, facing the behemoth as it raced closer. His spine straightened. His thoughts cleared. Hael’il was gone.  He hadn’t been able to accept it until this moment, but he new knew with perfect clarity that he would see her again soon. The great beast was nearly upon him.  It cried out in it’s massive bassoon voice.

“Move!” Standing as tall as his shaky legs would allow, he spread his glossy, painted wings, lengthening his sleek black neck and lifted his chin, dark beak raised defiantly.

“Hael’il!”  He screamed,  unspeakable sorrow mingling with fierce joy.   He would go to his beloved. “I am coming!”

There was a strange moment upon impact; not exactly pain, but a pressure unlike anything he had felt – like the atmospheric pressure before an intense summer storm, but magnified a thousandfold.  Then it was gone, and he was light. He spread his wings wide, lifting to the skies. Jae’el looked down for only a moment at the small, still form lying on the hard stone ground. Blood seeped from its mouth and eyes.   He felt no connection, only a little sadness for the creatures’ pain. He smiled and looked up again. He heard a faint voice. Hael’il. His beloved.

“Jae’el, you silly goose.”  He soared upward, the wind in his face and joy in his heart.  He was going home.

This story was inspired by a Canadian goose who stood, alone for several weeks, next to a long stretch of rural country road that I travel nearly daily. I was curious and concerned about the creature, wondering what could cause this behavior. Geese often mate for life – had he lost his mate? Speculation led to the story. Sadly, as life often follows fiction and vice versa, a few days after writing this, I was deeply saddened to see that the beautiful bird had passed away, close to the same spot he (or she) had been standing. Strangely, that afternoon when I pulled into my driveway, there was a small flock of Canadian geese on the field of my farm right next to where I park my car. When I got out of my car, they stood there for several minutes, just a few feet from where I stood, watching me. Perhaps it was just coincidence, but I like to think that we are much more deeply connected to our environment than we like to believe. Is it possible that the geese somehow were aware of the story I had written in honor of their fallen comrade, and were there to communicate that? Something to think about…

The power of words

by Terah Drake, posted in Uncategorized

Words are singularly the most powerful force available to humanity. We can choose to use this force constructively with words of encouragement, or destructively using words of despair. Words have energy and power with the ability to help, to heal, to hinder, to hurt, to harm, to humiliate and to humble.

Yehuda Berg

We gaze at the surface and above, never knowing completely what lies beneath…

I came upon an old journal today, reading an entry that described a place I once visited with great delight. The words took me back there; a place of warmth, exotic wonderment, and adventure. Just one paragraph and I was reliving a completely different life, immersed in a world I had all but forgotten. Words have a power that few things do – the power to move us, to lift, to inspire, to make us think, discover new worlds and create our own.

Words also have the power to suppress; to repress our truest selves and even destroy pieces of ourselves that must be rebuilt in a different way. It is no coincidence that the word itself can so easily be built upon or altered to mean something vastly different but no less powerful – adding something so small as an “s” to create “Sword” or an “l” to create “World”.

The way that we use words to speak alters or even creates our persona – do we use our words to lift others, to inspire, or to berate, to destroy? How do the words we use regularly impact the way we interact with others, and the way others perceive us? For that matter, how do those same words impact the way we see ourselves, and the reality we create? Are we using the words we think and speak to create good; heaven on earth – or hell? Many may know of the studies and experiments by Masaru Emoto on how words can actually alter water molecules. How does this translate to humans; composed of more than 70% water? Or any other creature on earth, for that matter. Food for thought…