Are you a morning person or a night owl? Personally, it’s hard for me to get to sleep before midnight, but I love waking up early. For a few years now, I’ve tried to keep to a morning routine that begins my day right and keeps me somewhat structured. I’ve found that not only does an early morning start help me to work better, I feel better and am happier throughout the day as a result.
When I am up before seven, I have ample time to really enjoy all of my little morning observances. I love the quiet of the house, the slow ritual of preparing coffee and the rich, cinnamon-laced chocolate aroma as it brews. I love settling down in my meditation chair with a big cup of hot lemon water, (cleanses the liver and kidneys and stimulates bile production, making digestion more effective) the scent of lemon tickling my consciousness as I begin my time with Source and meditation.
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As I finish up my meditation, my sweet little Pekingese will usually wander in to “practice” yoga with me, doing a few down dogs before insisting on a pet while I stretch. After yoga, I sit and enjoy a cup of “power coffee” then get my dogs out for a walk. By 9 am, I have taken care of myself, my animals, and the small morning chores and am ready to settle down to work at my computer.
On these days, my inner coach cheers for me, often in the voice of my paternal grandmother. My grandmother was one of the few positive female role models I had as a child. My coach congratulates me for keeping my goals on track and “gettin it done”, and reminds me of how proud she is of me. I pat myself on the back and feel amazing for being productive, caring for myself, home, family, and pets, and getting content written that maybe, just maybe might touch people and help them to see their own magic.
Sundays are my sleep-in days. I get up when my body wants to get up, usually around 9am. I relish having a slow day, making a big breakfast and just hanging out with my family. I think we all need at least one full day each week to re-create, to have fun and be lazy. But Monday I’m back to routine, up at a decent time and ready for the week. Or should be.
But it doesn’t always work out that way. There are days that I stay in bed too long, cozy under thick comforters, wrapped up in my partner’s arms and unable to motivate myself to get up. I almost always regret it. Instead of the positive, caring voice of my coach greeting me as I finally force myself to crawl out of bed, my inner critic kicks in as soon as my feet hit the floor – in a voice that alternates between two highly negative and critical women I had as mother figures growing up. These women had suffered terrible abuse in their formative years and did the best they could as parental figures, but the harshness of my childhood still rings in my inner ear and sometimes my heart, and most loudly when I’m feeling badly about myself.
On those less-than-ideal mornings, that voice berates me for “once again f#cking up”. As I rush through or entirely forego those rituals that help me to stay on track and productive, and my scattered mind goes into overdrive, she tells me I will never reach my goals. That I might as well just give up because I couldn’t possibly teach others to live a fulfilling and happy life. She tells me that I am a fraud. She reminds me that many of those close to me think my work as a writer, a teacher, a healer is just foolishness. As I listen to my critic my sensitive inner child is an emotional mess. It is often around this time that my coach tries to push through to tell me that I do live an amazing, magical, happy and fulfilled life 85% or more of the time. She reminds me that I began writing to help others who might be living in pain or just less than happy to do the same.
I want to hear what my coach is saying, but those damned childhood patterns fight to be obeyed and as my critic whispers negative into my mind I begin to question my purpose, my ability to teach others, reach my goals and nearly every other aspect of myself from my looks to my emotional intelligence. We’ve all been there at one time or another and as you probably know, it sucks with a capital S and just feels awful – and who really wants to feel bad?
When I start cycling downward, to be honest, there are times that I just can’t disconnect from that awful critic and it’s evening before I feel ok again. But I’ve learned to recognize my patterns and listen intently when my critic starts whispering bullsh#t in my ear – and have learned a few tools to quiet her again and get myself back on-track and feeling my best.
First and foremost, I slow the heck down. It is only too easy to get caught up in the rush when we are running behind our usual schedule, but remember what Einstein said? Time is relative. When we slow ourselves, time generally slows with us.
If you find yourself stressed and rushed, with your own inner critic starting to voice his or her unwelcome opinions into your subconscious, find a quiet spot, get comfortable and take some deep, slow breaths. As you silence your thoughts, see if you can actually sense time around you slowing. I guarantee this practice alone can be life-changing.
Make a list. I am highly ADD, which can be a gift when I need to hyperfocus or get many tasks done in a short period but less so when I am stressed and scattered. On those days that I am behind schedule and beleaguered, writing a list and being deliberate about checking off each item can help me to be more productive and get back to hearing the uplifting voice of my coach rather than the critic.
Put away the tech. Most of us really enjoy scrolling through Instagram or Tiktok, looking at beautiful images or fun microvideos. But how often do we allow Social Media – or a hundred different options all at the touch of a fingertip – to pull us out of focus? I deleted TikTok for several months because I found myself losing hours at a time, trying to justify those hours by telling myself the content was uplifting or made me feel happy to watch. Which it was, and it did, but how many hours do we watch others living rather than doing the living ourselves? I do believe that we can learn much and gain inspiration on how to live better or try new things from social media, youtube, or TikTok. But limiting our exposure and curating what we take in is so important in how it impacts our brain.
Get 10 minutes of exercise. My go-to is yoga, but 10 minutes on a treadmill, taking a brisk walk, a HIT routine, or anything that gets your blood pumping will oxygenate the bloodstream and brain, helping you to get clear.
Read or listen to a few minutes of inspirational or educational material. Wayne Dyer, Louise Hay, Rachel Hollis, Gabby Bernstein, Bruce Lipton and Deepak Chopra are a few of my go-to’s, but I am currently reading and listening to “Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself” by Dr. Joe Dispenza. The book is a brilliantly written but easily understood non-fiction that covers the way to override a lifetime of bad habits in everything from our thoughts to our ability to create an amazing life. Dr. Dispenza teaches how our neurochemistry and quantum physics play important roles in this process, which resonates and backs up much of what I have learned and teach already. I highly recommend it. There are also literally hundreds of short podcasts available by various authors and speakers that can help get you back into a state of higher resonance. I would also recommend Binaural beats as a way to positively alter your brainwaves.
Last but not least, Look at the bigger picture. Remember that this is a lifetime journey, not just a day trip. Sometimes we take a wrong turn and get lost for a while, but we always find our way back to the main road – sometimes in just a few minutes, sometimes longer. But regardless of how long it takes us to get back on track, the difference between a frustrating experience and an adventure is 100% in our mindset. What are your long-term goals? Where do you see yourself in five years? Ten? Twenty? How do you want to feel tomorrow, next year, in five, ten, or twenty years? This is what really matters, not the hours or a day of feeling off-kilter and out of sorts.
It is important to remember that our thoughts are patterns – neural pathways – in the brain. To better understand this, I like to have students and clients imagine a vast field of golden grain, gently waving in the wind. Our transient thoughts – what we might have for breakfast, how much you enjoyed a conversation with the lovely barista at your local coffee shop, the files you need to send to your boss – are all pathways that disappear quickly. But those thoughts that we have on repeat; often thoughts linked to memories that began in childhood, are deep furrows or even trenches in the field.
The more we listen to the critic and dwell on the negative, the stronger those patterns or pathways become. Going back to the metaphor, the deeper those paths become until one day they are trenches so deep it can be difficult to even remember that there is a whole world above the level of where we walk. But conversely, when we choose to see the world – and ourselves – through rose-colored glasses, we become the habit of our thoughts. We become happy. Positive. Uplifted and uplifting.
And you know what? Our vibrational energy is contagious, which means when we feel good those around us feel good, too. Win win situation, right? So the next time you find yourself on that downward spiral, listening to your inner critic, take a moment to observe your thoughts. Step back, take a breath, and tell her (or him) to shut the hell up, because you are a fucking unicorn, my love. Let me say again: You are magic. You are in control of your thoughts and your life, not your damned critic. You are amazing, unique, and are exactly where you need to be so get up, lift your chin and glow. Much love, beautiful one.
This Blessed Sacred Life 