You are not a victim.
This is so important I’ll say it again.
YOU ARE NOT A VICTIM.
You are here to be an empowered creator in this time space reality.
We all have the choice and ability to be reactive to any circumstance or to respond to any circumstance. This begins with acknowledgment of our personal power in this world, and follows with a willingness to take responsibility for whether we respond or react to those events, circumstances, and people that may feel challenging or difficult.
With all that is happening here in the states and in the world beyond, it can be easy to forget this. Sometimes, situations in our environment may seem so vast and unchangeable that we feel we don’t have any control – and that can be a frightening thing. The amygdala; a primitive part of the brain responsible for identifying threats and processing emotion – particularly negative emotions such as fear or anger – tells us that we need safety, and safety equals familiarity. Control.
But this need for safety tends to create a strong confirmation bias, rather than an ability to see facts through the lens of rationality and heart-based understanding. It can become easy to ruminate on these difficult circumstances to the point of anxiety and overwhelm. We can become so accustomed to this state of being that we literally become addicted to the constant flow of hard-hitting neurochemicals such as cortisol and adrenaline that are produced by this negative state of mind.
This constant state of survival and “fight or flight” cuts us off from the coherence available to us when we have access to the synergy of the brain/heart/gut axis. Our heart and gut has neurons just as the brain does, and it is only when we are calm and in our center that we can gain access the wisdom that can be found in the free flow of information between these three thinking and feeling centers. But when we are stuck in the brain, we unwittingly allow ourselves to become a victim of our primitive brain.
But we don’t have to stay there.
Responsibility = the ability to respond with reason. When we take responsibility for how we respond to the world around us, we empower ourselves to live from a place of greater wisdom and self-creation. You are not a victim to any circumstance in your life. Not your financial situation, your relationships, your employment, your health, the current political situation or anything else you can dream up – but sometimes, we need a little reminder and help to override our anxiety and overwhelm and get back to coherence and alignment with who we truly are.
I like to follow a “4-R” rule when I am beginning to feel overwhelmed or anxious about things beyond my control:
1. Reset. I do a quick breathing exercise to reset my parasympathetic nervous system. One long breath in, followed by a short breath to completely fill my lungs and diaphragm. I hold for a slow count of four followed by a slow exhale; usually with a count to eight. Repeat two more times. This combination of nervous system override and mindfulness on the count takes us back to our baseline of centeredness and calm.
2. Reflect. Is there anything I can do right now to change my circumstance? If yes, forward to #4: I take action. If no, let it go. Another important question to ask is this: If I knew the situation would not change in my near future, what would I need to do to find a sense of safety and peace within the space of my current reality? Is there a way I can find greater compassion/empathy/understanding/kindness for the person/people or situation? Do I need to give myself more of the same to be at peace?
This leads right into the third “R” –
3. Reframe. Is there a lesson within this difficult situation that can help me grow? What is the good I can find in this situation? How can I be grateful for some aspect of my current circumstance? There are many studies on how powerfully learning to reframe our lives can increase the quality of our lives and overall level of happiness.
And finally, back to the most empowering thing we can do for ourselves and our lives:
4. Responsibility. What action can I take to make a positive impact on my situation and life? We don’t need to take big action – small, daily changes can have huge long-term impact. Maybe it’s better self-care, or doing something that helps others. A daily meditation and/or gratitude practice, even five minutes when you wake and before bed, can be life-changing. Sometimes we need to find greater grace and forgiveness for ourselves or others – I’d highly recommend checking out my earlier post on Ho’oponopono; the Hawaiian practice of forgiveness. It’s a gorgeous way to let go of past hurts and heal. Believe me, it works. 🥰
If you are struggling with all that seems wrong in the world today, I feel this deeply, too. But though things may seem bleak, life is still just as wonderful as ever, if you can just look away from the train wreck that is happening in certain arenas of life to notice the beauty beyond the distraction. You may not be able to alter the course of history, but you have authority and power over how you view, create, and live your own life. I hope the “4-R” technique I developed to keep me in my own place of authority and calm may help a little in your own remembrance of who you are and your ability to shape a life according to what brings you joy.
F#ck the fear and disempowerment that seems to be being taught in the media and political world, In dysfunctional relationships and those that still live from a place of fear or devaluation. 😤. You deserve so much better. Believe it.✨
Big love.💖
- Terah
This Blessed Sacred Life 