Grief – Castles to Caskets

Grief is a funny thing, isn’t it?  

Like bad company 

Showing up unannounced,

Sorrow seems to come

Visiting at the most 

Unexpected moments.  

Driving a long stretch of highway

In the middle of nowhere;

You find yourself 

Sobbing uncontrollably, 

Hoping the couple 

In the passing convertible  

Missed your ugly cry.  

A song comes on the radio

Or Spotify. Or Itunes

that reminds you of your loss 

and the pain is so acute 

that it takes your breath

and you wonder if you will ever

feel the joy  

of just a few short weeks, 

or months,

or years ago, 

Again.

You turn off the radio.

You delete once-favorite Playlists

Just to avoid the reminders 

Of what once was.
 

Or perhaps you are 

Having dinner

Or playing cards with friends 

And catch their worried glances 

As your normally-sharp mind 

Muddles over a simple game 

That you have played 

Hundreds of times before;

Too distracted by the 

Sorrow, 

The “what ifs”, 

The “whys” 

And the “what-the-hells”

To focus fully.  

Beauty, like your mind, 

Seems dulled.

Less than. 

Maybe you question

All That Is.

Reality itself. 

How could something

That felt so solid

So true

So real

Be gone so quickly?

So easily? 

Like sand slipping 

through your fingers.

You thought you were 

Building castles

But instead you 

Were left with caskets.

There are moments

When you wonder 

If one of those 

Now buried tombs

Is yours.

My love.

I understand 

Feeling buried;

This heaviness

This sticky tar

That seems sometimes

to encompass you.

But did you know –

The solution for 

Dissolving tar is

Vinegar and soap?

The cure is in the pain.

In the astringency of vinegar

The cleansing properties of soap

We have to feel the pain

Allow the grief to Be.

If we sit with it;

Befriend it

Put our arms around it

Hold it tight;

Give it the love

That it feels missing,

The joy that is bereft

For a little while,

The pain will ease

The heaviness that we feel

Will lessen.

Lighten.

Perhaps not today.

Or tomorrow.

But the more we allow

Ourselves to feel

All of the stages

Of grief

The Sorrow

The pain

The rage

The bargaining

The brighter the world becomes

And eventually,

That pain becomes 

More a memory

Than an experience

We walk in the Sun once more,

A smile on our lips

Joy in our hearts

And we remember 

That even though 

Loss will come;

That heartache and sorrow 

Are an essential element 

Of the Human Experience,

So also comes Gain.

Wisdom.

Love.

Beauty.

Abundance. 

Joy. 

We remember that 

Ultimately, 

All is well in the world.